The Reverse Sweep

James Pattinson and Big Brother

“One brother gets sent off, the other scores. Amazing” opined Barry Davies as Francois Omam Biyik’s header put unfancied Cameroon ahead against holders Argentina in the opening match of the 1990 World Cup.

Not all siblings who share the international stage also end up enjoying success together. For every Steve and Mark Waugh or Bobby and Jack Charlton there is a Robin and Chris Smith or a Kamran and Umar Akmal (ok they’re both crap).

In the wake of James Pattinson taking a second successive five wicket haul in his second Test, it would seem that he and his brother Darren fall into the latter category.

As we documented in our One Cap Wonder Test XI, the elder sibling Darren was plucked from relative obscurity to represent England in the Headingley Test of 2008 against South Africa.

Darren didn’t actually bowl that badly, but the criticism the selectors received for picking him and the magnitude of the defeat that followed meant that he never got a second chance. Indeed, being essentially a fair dinkum Aussie, opprobrium was heaped on him by his countrymen for playing for the Poms and from English supporters because he was an Australian. We guess that’s what you call a no-win situation.

Younger brother James has fared much better and with Nathan Lyon and Pat Cummins also both taking five wicket innings hauls in their debut Tests, it seems that Australia’s climb back off the floor from last winter’s Ashes shame could be quicker than anyone envisaged.

Bowling to a New Zealand batting line-up that is so brittle it may as well be diagnosed with collective osteoporosis has meant James Pattinson’s entry into Test cricket has been a fairly straightforward one, but it looks like he has enough about him to ask questions of India’s star-studded batting line-up in a few weeks time.

Brother Darren doubtless approves.

Where next?

1st Test: Australia vs New Zealand - New Zealand marks out of 10

1st Test: Australia vs New Zealand - Australia marks out of 10

The David Warner Experiment

Cricket zeroes: Channel 9's Commentary Team

Check out all our Reverse Sweep cricket heroes and zeroes 

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

The worst Test XI of 2010

 
After picking our best Test XI of 2010, we thought it might be fun to look at who was top of the flops, so here in all their glory (or should that be failure?), is our worst Test XI of the year:

1. Imran Farhat (383 runs at 23.93) - Two fifties in 16 innings is pitiful for a test match opening batsman and from what we saw of him in the summer in England, a test match opener is not something Farhat should be for much longer. 

2. Imrul Kayes (292 runs at 20.85) - Not very good - make that clueless - against the short ball, which let's be honest is a prerequisite for a test match opener. When you consider that 2010 was actually Kayes' best year in test cricket, it tells you everything you need to know about his 'ability'.

3. BJ Watling (125 runs at 17.85) - As a test match top order batsman, BJ sucks (sorry, we couldn't resist that one). The worst of a series of mediocre cricketers to have worn the Black Cap in 2010.

4. Ricky Ponting (813 runs at 36.95) - Poor stats by his standards, but hardly disastrous until you take away his 209 at Hobart which leaves 604 runs at 28.76. Surrendered the Ashes and his dignity in an ugly spat with the umpires at what could prove to be his final test in Melbourne. Naturally, Punter captains this side of flops and miscreants.

5. Yuvraj Singh (94 runs at 23.50) - 2010 was an annus horribilis for the portly Yuvraj: out of runs and out of favour in the IPL, part of India's disastrous World T20 campaign and ejected from India's test side due to poor form and fitness before enduring chants of 'water boy' when performing 12th man duties. He did eat a lot of pies though.

6. Umar Akmal (365 runs at 24.33) - Why have one Akmal in your team, when you can have two? Started off the year, with many predicting big things for the youngest Akmal brother and ended it being best known for his green lipstick. May bounce back once he realises that Test cricket is not T20 and requires innings to be built.

7. Kamran Akmal (123 runs at 10.25; 27 catches) - Absolutely dreadful with bat and gloves. Started the year by serially dropping Mike Hussey at Sydney and then put in an even worse performance at Trent Bridge. By the time his replacement Zulqarnain Haider went AWOL, Pakistan still preferred either of his brothers behind the stumps to the butter fingered Kamran.

8. Xavier Doherty (3 wickets at 102) - Inexplicably plucked from obscurity by Australia's confused selectors and promptly sent back to whence he came after two dreadful performances - and with a first-class average of over 50, it was hardly a surprise. So bad that he makes the team ahead of Paul Harris.

9. Ben Hilfenhaus (18 wickets at 41.38) - Hilfenhaus actually looked Australia's best bowler in the two match series in India, but he has flopped badly in the Ashes with only four wickets at 73 apiece and has lacked any sort of variation. Actually makes the side because we had predicted he would be the leading wicket taker in the Ashes series. Whoops!

10. Rubel Hossain (9 wickets at 90.55) - Even by the standards of Bangladesh's powder-puff attack, Rubel was particularly inept and he conceded nearly five runs an over to boot in his six tests in 2010.

11. Brandon Bess (1 wicket at 92.00) - Made Australia's selection of Xavier Doherty look inspired. Bess was called-up as a late injury replacement against South Africa at Bridgetown and promptly bowled 13 overs for 92 runs with just  the solitary wicket of Paul Harris - which somehow seems rather apt.

Where next? 

Brandon Bess - The strangest test debutant of them all

Over-rated cricketers - Yuvraj Singh

Ricky Ponting's cataclysmic epitaph

Zeroes: Paul Harris

Zeroes: Kamran Akmal

Exclusive: The New Ten Point Pakistan Player Code of Conduct

Historic India-Pakistan peace summit flounders on cricket diplomacy

Pakistan cricket's next 11 crazy events

Read all the latest from our Ashes 2010/11 coverage

Check out all our Reverse Sweep heroes and zeroes

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

The next 11 crazy events involving the Pakistan cricket team

 
Can Pakistan cricket get any crazier? Just when you think that it has reached a low, along comes Zulqarnain Haider doing his impersonation of the Scarlet Pimpernel as he vanished into thin air only to materialise sometime later at Heathrow Airport.

We've been mulling over what is likely to happen next with the Pakistan cricket team, and after looking into our crystal ball we can confidently predict the next 11 major events.

1. Zulqarnain becomes a bit of a celebrity in his new home in the UK and replaces the Irish bloke on the X Factor judges panel, has an affair with Cheryl Cole and plays himself in an autobiographical flick entitled 'Escape From Dubai'.
2. Following the call-up of the third Akmal brother Adnan to the Pakistan squad rumours of nepotism and mafia cartels strengthen further when first Father Akmal and then Mother Akmal are also called into the squad.
3. Misbah-ul-Haq resigns the Test captaincy after the calamitous performance of the side in the two tests against South Africa, although Mother Akmal impresses with the gloves.
4. Younis Khan reveals the real reason behind the conspiracy against his captaincy that was perpetuated by Shoaib Malik - he is a cross-dresser that regularly wears stockings, suspenders and a basque under his cricket whites.
5. Shahid Afridi announces that he is returning to test cricket and is promptly named as test captain for the tour of New Zealand. After scoring 21 from 7 balls in Pakistan's failed run chase in the 1st Test, he retires from tests again citing that he doesn't have the mental strength or technique required for the five day game. Mother Akmal is made captain for the rest of the series.
6. In a poll on Cricinfo, Shahid Afridi is named as the sanest person in cricket today. Shoaib Akhtar comes second and Ijaz Butt third.
7. Shoaib Malik announces his divorce from Sania Mirza. He says that the marriage was all a big mistake and he'd got Mirza confused with the opponent she was playing at the time he first saw her. His engagement to Maria Sharapova is confirmed soon after.
8. Imran Farhat's book The Art of Batting is a worldwide best seller and copies are seen in the cricket bags of such luminaries as Sachin Tendulkar, VVS Laxman, Kevin Pietersen and Ricky Ponting. All say that they wish they could bat like Farhat. 
9. Wahab Riaz beats Jonathan Trott at Madison Square Gardens to become WBO Heavyweight Champion of the World.
10. Amidst all the chaos Pakistan win the 2011 World Cup with a team solely comprised of Akmals. Kamran scores a hundred, Umar a fifty and Father Akmal takes five for ten as India are beaten.
11. Zulqarnain survives being stabbed with a poisoned umbrella on his way into the X Factor studios. Suspects include Ashley Cole and Kamran Akmal, as well as a mysterious Asian man with green lipstick.

Where next?

Exclusive: The New Ten Point Pakistan Player Code of Conduct

Historic India-Pakistan peace summit flounders on cricket diplomacy

Heroes: Mushtaq Ahmed

Zeroes: Shoaib Malik

Revealed: New PCB Player Code of Conduct

 
Following the news that the PCB has revised its Player Code of Conduct, the Reverse Sweep has managed to glean a copy from a source whom we cannot reveal other than to say that he has been known to associate with the Bookies Circle.

The Code, which takes the form of ten key guidelines for players provides illuminating reading:

1. Henceforth, all players on tour must have a picture of our Dear Leader Chairman Butt above their bed with praise and thanks being given morning and evening.
2. Remember who your Captain is. He is to be undermined and conspired against at all times.
3. On the way out to the crease, every batsman is to punch the new Jonathan Trott effigy as they leave the dressing room. The effigy will be burnt at the end of every tour and a new one created for the next tour.
4. Any victories (which are admittedly unlikely) must be dedicated to Chairman Butt. Any defeats can be blamed on a conspiracy initiated by India, its agent Shoaib Malik and august cricket bodies.
5. On no account let Yasir Hameed speak to the press. If necessary gag him for the entire tour.
6. Don't laugh at Umar Akmal's green make-up. He is only a boy and he can't help it if he has a fixation with the Wicked Witch from the Wizard of Oz. It also fixes his spots.
7. Everyone must actively participate in the PCB's chosen charitable concern and 'Adopt a Bookie'.
8. Don't worry about any spot or match-fixing allegations. We know that you will always be innocent and that India will be behind it. Rest assured that Judge Qayyum will be on the case and that everyone will be exonerated.
9. Remember that Younis Khan is an enemy of Pakistan cricket and not a world-class batsman and reasonably successful Pakistan captain. It was Chairman Butt and not he who was the inspiration for the 2009 World T20 win.
10. Finally, remember that a cricket ball a day keeps the doctor away. Follow the example of Afridi and munch away.

Where next?

Heroes: Imran Khan

Historic India-Pakistan peace summit flounders on cricket diplomacy

The Ten Commandments of Ijaz Butt

 

Please note that our source may be wrong and the PCB Player Code of Conduct may or may not be along the lines of this article. Just in case

A canned Hollywood film about cricket, fixing and a homeless team

Living near Cannes means you get to become on first name terms with a number of renowned film directors, as they are frequently in town.

At the weekend, I had a drink with one famous director who asked not to be named (let's just call him O. Rock), who told me a remarkable story about a film project he had worked on a couple of years ago. Basically, he had to pitch the idea to a sinister Hollywood studio boss he hadn't met before. The guy had a pretty fearsome reputation, so Rock decided to tape the meeting. He played me the recording...

Studio Boss (SB): So tell me about the film.

O. Rock (OR): Well it's about a cricket team full of a variety of miscreant characters who mostly don't like each other. They can't play matches at home because of terrorists.

SB: Good, I like the terrorist angle. Very topical.

OR: The team is run by a Tyrannical Despot who continually interferes. He fires Captains at will like Hitler used to do with his Generals.

SB: Good, good.Terrorism, a mad autocratic leader. Sounds promising to me.

OR: That's not all. As I said the team has a number of diverse characters and factions. There is a Mad Uncle, who is prone to doing Michael Jackson moonwalks on the pitch and eating cricket balls in the middle of matches. Then there is the Wise Old Grandad - he looks a bit like Gandalf the Grey and keeps retiring and then making comebacks.

SB: Kind of a Frank Sinatra figure?

OR: Exactly. There's also another older player, Sensitive Captain, who was actually quite successful at leading the side before he was the victim of a coup instigated by the team's Machiavellian Prince. He also falls out in a big way with Tyrannical Despot.

SB: Wow conspiracy and intrigue too. I suppose the Machiavellian Prince becomes captain in the end? 

OR: Well, he has a turn near the start before Sensitive Captain, but he turns out to be an even worse captain then he is a player. He also falls out in a big way with Wise Old Grandad and ends up marrying someone on the phone before divorcing her and marrying a famous tennis player. Eventually he is dropped for being too bad even for this team.

SB: Gee a lot happens to him. He sounds like a particularly unsavoury chap. Who are the other main characters?

OR: There's a couple of brothers. One is Butter Fingers - he is the worst wicketkeeper in cricket history and couldn't even catch a cold. The other is Little Slogger, so named because he tries to hit every ball for six. He also pretends he is a teenager and wears green lipstick.

SB: My God, it sounds like the Addams Family.

OR: Then there is Mr Dignity, he becomes captain towards the end and impresses everyone with the way he speaks and manages the team. But the audience is left wondering if he has a nasty secret, which he may or may not share with Rehab Boy, a brilliant bowler who is banned for drug taking but comes back and becomes one of the best bowlers in the world. Again the audience is left wondering if he has retunred to his fomer waywardness. The other character is The Kid. The Kid is an 18 year old wunderkind from an impoverished background, who is regarded as the best bowler of his age in cricket history. He has film star looks and is the darling of the nation.

SB: Kind of a rags to riches tale?

OR: Exactly, but the audience is left wondering whether he, Rehab Boy and Mr Dignity have got into bed with bookmakers and deliberately bowled no-balls in exchange for money.  

SB: A lot happens in this film. Is it realistic, is the question I am asking myself? Tell me about the plot.

OR: Well the film follows the Homeless Team around the world for a period of around 18 months. The fact that the captain keeps being changed adds to the state of flux and continuous chaos surrounding the team. First of all, they win the World T20, but then Machiavellian Prince leads a revolt against Sensitive Captain and he resigns soon after.

SB: That sounds a bit stupid.

OR: Quite. Then Wise Old Grandad takes over. Rehab Boy and Little Slogger both do well in New Zealand and the team draw the series. Then just as the audience thinks that the team is on the up. Bang. They go to Australia and it all falls apart. They lose every match including one where Butter Fingers drops even more catches than usual and Wise Old Grandad proves to be a clueless captain. Then Tyrannical Despot goes insane like Hitler in Downfall and bans everyone. The players all come out to the press and say they hate each other. It's absolute chaos.

SB: Surely that wouldn't all happen. Where do you go from here?

OR: Then they appoint Mad Uncle as captain. You just know that it will end in tears but at first things improve. They get to the semi-final of the World T20 but snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Afterwards Tyrannical Despot un-bans all the players he had banned but still won't pick Sensitive Captain.

SB: I suppose appointing Mad Uncle is a bit of a case of the blind leading the blind?

OR: Yes. Of course it does eventually end up in tears on the tour of England, when Mad Uncle resigns after losing his first test in charge against Australia.

SB: No that wouldn't happen. Who ever heard of neutral test matches? Too far-fetched.

OR: Bear with me. Then Mr Dignity becomes captain and Rehab Boy and The Kid destroy Australia in the next match. The team do their best to throw away the advantage but actually manage to win.

SB: Oh great. A happy ending.

OR: It's not over yet. Then they play England, but because Tyrannical Despot won't pick Wise Old Grandad and Sensitive Captain, the batting is too frail even though The Kid and Rehab Boy keep taking English wickets. But they do manage to win one match when Wise Old Grandad comes to the rescue on his charger.

SB: Is that all?

OR: Not yet. Just as people start thinking the team have a promising future, Mr Dignity, Rehab Boy and The Kid fall victim to a tabloid sting, which alleges they are taking money to bowl no-balls. Remember I mentioned that earlier?

SB: Cheating and fixing as well? My God, what happens in the end?

OR: We're still finalising that. Any suggestions?

SB: I'll have to ask my friends in the ICC (laughing). I'm a bit worried all this is a bit too far-fetched. Surely one team couldn't go through all this in only 18 months?

That was it. After the recording stopped, I asked O Rock what happened next. he said it was strange because the meeting ended abruptly when Studio Boss received a phone call and he never heard from him again. Indeed he told me that it was rumoured that Studio Boss had left the business - no one had seen or heard from him since. The project was canned.

Of course, in the light of recent events we discussed how remarkably similar all this was to what is happening with the Pakistan cricket team today. I asked O Rock when the meeting was and the name of the Studio Boss.

And that was the funny thing. O Rock told me that the meeting was in 2008. And the name of the studio boss was Ijaz Butt, one month before he took up his position as Chairman of the PCB...

England vs Pakistan: 4th test - Pakistan marks out of ten

When England were 102 for seven just after lunch on Friday, the Pakistan team were in ecstasy as they contemplated completing their fightback to draw the series with England.

But ecstasy turned to agony as first Jonathan Trott's and Stuart Broad's partnership and then a spineless batting display condemned Pakistan to their biggest ever test defeat. Then came the ignominy of the spot-fixing scandal, which could end the careers of a number of their side if the allegations are proven.

So, it may seem churlish and unimportant now to cast our marks out of ten for the Pakistan XI who played at Lord's, but we will do so because Trott's and Broad's achievements deserve to be remembered.

Imran Farhat - 2: If Farhat is a test match opener than I am the King of England. Sorry Imran, but an ability to cope with the new ball is kind of important if you want to open the batting. Two shocking dismissals especially the wild heave-ho in the second innings.

Yasir Hameed - 2: Actually made Farhat look half-decent. His charge down the wicket to Broad after the follow-on was irresponsibility personified. Now, we wonder if there was something more sinister involved?

Salman Butt - 5: At least the captain showed some fight with the bat even if he couldn't contend with Swann's extravagant spin. If the allegations about Butt's involvement in the spot-fixing scandal are true it will be dreadfully sad as his dignity and ability as captain seemed just what Pakistan cricket needed.

 

Mohammad Yousuf - 3: Will probably be wishing now that he had stayed retired. Undone by a wonderful yorker by Broad in the first innings and fell to a sucker punch in the second. Here, unlike at the Oval, Yousuf looked like a man who hadn't picked up a bat in seven months.

Azhar Ali - 5: Didn't kick on from his wonderful knock at the Oval, but with all the on and off-field turmoil going on around him, is it any wonder the inexperienced Azhar looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights?

Umar Akmal - 6: Undone by the Lord's sightscreen and Finn's height in the first innings, but enjoyed himself second time around when the pressure was off. Showed that butter fingers run in the family with a truly awful drop to reprieve Cook.

Kamran Akmal - 5: Although he kept wicket well enough for the second successive match (surely a record for the older Akmal?), his batting has truly fallen apart. Should be replaced by Zulqarnain for the tests against South Africa even if the allegations against him prove unfounded.

Mohammad Aamer - 9: Wonderful bowling confirmed that Aamer is perhaps the most talented bowler of his age in the history of cricket. He's certainly the best 18 year old we've seen and his control and mastery of conventional and reverse swing is truly remarkable. One desperately hopes that the allegations against him are not true - otherwise his story will have a sad and tragic end.

Wahab Riaz - 3: Was impotent, expensive and ineffectual with the ball and disappointing with the bat. May well prove to be a one test wonder.

Saeed Ajmal - 4: With Trott and Broad playing him so well, Ajmal was ineffective for the first time in the series. The extravagant spin and bounce found by Swann makes Ajmal's performance all the more disappointing.

Mohammad Asif - 6: Found a beautiful nip-backer to snare Strauss but it was all downhill from there as he was nullified by Trott's clever tactics. It is now alleged that Asif's chequered career has taken yet another wrong turn.

The Boundary View: No luck for Strauss again, Lord's, Day One

Strauss' sad waltz plays on

Though he hid it well, Andrew Strauss will have been particularly disappointed to have lost the toss under doom-laden skies at Lord's yesterday. He came into the match with questions hanging over his form, although to be fair it has been a particularly difficult series to open the batting where for the most part, high-quality seamers have had both pitch and overhead conditions in their favour. Sure enough, Strauss got an absolute beauty from Mohammad Asif that was full, swung and then nipped back to catch the England captain's inside edge and bowl him through his gate. It was a wonderful delivery from Asif and in a series of great balls of fire, it is right up there with the best of them.

But in contrast, Cook's leprechaun continues to work his magic

Whilst his opening colleague's poor run of luck continues, the leprechaun on Alastair Cook's shoulder continued to work its magic. After enjoying several large slices of luck at the Oval, before he got going in his place-saving hundred, Cook would have been inwardly smiling at the good fortune that came his way yesterday. Dropped on one by the butter fingered Umar Akmal, Cook was also reprieved by the review system on nine after a ridiculous caught behind decision by Billy Bowden. There were also a number of other edges and Cook again looked anything but assured at the crease. If Cook's luck continues today then the sun will be shining come the start of play and he will go on to make another significant score.

Keeping it in the family

The Pakistan fielding this summer, the Oval apart, has been atrocious and could have even prevented them from winning the series. The worst offender was Kamran Akmal at Trent Bridge where he dropped a series of sitters, missed a straightforward stumping to dismiss Paul Collingwood and took an edge on the bounce from Eoin Morgan because he was standing too far back. So perhaps it was no surprise that the culprit yesterday at third slip who dropped a sitter to reprieve Alastair Cook was none other than Umar Akmal. Definitely a case of keeping it in the family.

It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world

So sang Eighties cyberpunks Sigue Sigue Sputnik about the city of Rio, but they could just as well have been singing about the schedule produced by the ECB this summer. It was bad enough that England played no test cricket in July, and that Edgbaston was given a test match despite resembling a building site more than a cricket ground. We had thought that the final straw was taking away the last test of the summer from its traditional home at The Oval. But it would seem that staging a test match at Lord's this late in the season has upset the Gods evn more given the dreadful weather yesterday. At this rate the ECB will make their PCB counterparts look competent.

The day Blowers nearly played for England

One of the few good things about rain interrupting play is the material that both television and radio commentaries use to pass the time. The banter was particularly good on Test Match Sofa and the original TMS yesterday. On the latter, Henry Blofeld regaled the time that he nearly made an emergency debut for England during a series in India in the sixties. The England touring party had gone down with a particularly nasty bout of Delhi Belly and had only ten fit players standing the day before the Mumbai test was due to start, So with no-one else to turn to, Blowers, a highly-rated schoolboy cricketer at Eton before losing an argument with a bus, was asked to standby, which he agreed to do providing that if he scored a fifty he would be retained for the next test at Kolkata! In the event, on hearing that England were a man short (and perhaps aghast at the prospect of Blowers playing), Micky Stewart roused himself from his hospital bed and was named in the XI. And the moral of this story? It's not just radio and television cricket commentaries that can pad things out when rain stops play!   

England vs Pakistan: 3rd test - Pakistan marks out of ten

Spirit in the Pakistan camp is obviously high given that they were able to put heavy defeats at Trent Bridge and Edgbaston behind them to bounce back with avengeance at the Oval. Pakistan sides of recent vintage would have descended into chaos and recrimination after two such crushing defeats, so captain Salman Butt and coach Waqar Younis should take a lot of credit for avoiding this.

Pakistan will now believe that they can square the series at Lord's and have a number of factors in their favour. Mohammad Yousuf has added calmness and solidity to the batting and his influence seems to have imbued his batting colleagues with a bit more steel. Mohammad Aamer and Mohammad Asif continue to impress and England still haven't been able to pick Saeed Ajmal. Moreover their fielding, which was so poor in the first two tests, was a revelation at the Oval.

So, how did the Pakistan team fare on the Reverse Sweep marks out of ten scale?  

Imran Farhat - 7: Transformed from the strokeless Farhat of Edgbaston into a Tamim Iqbal clone when getting the Pakistan run chase off to a flier. Given that he also got runs in the Headingley run chase against Australia it would seem that Farhat likes the pressure cooker.

Yasir Hameed - 6: Came in for his first test of the summer and provided a much needed positive approach at the top of the order to give Pakistan's 1st innings a lightning start riding his luck in the process. Fortune ran out in the second innings with a first ball duck.

Salman Butt - 8: Is really impressing as captain both on and off the field and unlike his opposite number, everything went right for Butt here. He even managed to finally get some runs as he led from the front during the run chase. This was just reward for his dignity and bravery in dropping down to three. Captaincy record now stands at two wins and two losses - who'd have thought that when he took over amidst the chaos of Afridi's resignation?

Mohammad Yousuf - 9: A class act. Not only showed the quality that Pakistan's batting has been missing all summer, but spread calmness and confidence throughout his batting colleagues. Batted from memory at the start of his first knock, but once he had played himself in, Yousuf demonstrated exactly what he is a world class batsmen. How could Pakistan have ever left out a batsman this good? Shame on you, Ijaz Butt.

Azhar Ali - 8: Took his cue from Yousuf and visibly grew in confidence during his brilliant 92 not out in the first innings. Clearly has a lot of talent and a long test career beckons. Let's just overlook his ridiculous run out that sparked all the panic in the second innings.

Umar Akmal - 6: Immensely talented, but first innings dismissal raised questions as to how much there is between the ears. His crazy run out just three balls before the new ball cost Pakistan a big first innings lead and could have lost them the game. Redeemed himself in the second innings by showing uncharacteristic patience when the pressure was at its most intense and was rewarded by hitting the winning runs.

Kamran Akmal - 7: Lucky to play after Zulqarnain's unfortunate injury, but then surprised by catching everything that came his way. His batting in English conditions though clearly needs a rethink and his dismissal in the second innings offering no shot to Swann was particularly poor. In this form, he is a place too high at seven.

Mohammad Aamer - 9: Bounced back from a quiet time in the first innings to deliver a matchwinning Akramesque spell in the second. Bowled fast, full and gained wicked late movement. Simply brilliant, but is he really only 18? Was at the crease when the winning runs were hit for the second successive run chase.

Saeed Ajmal - 8: England's top order still can't pick him, which helped Ajmal during his long spell in England's second innings. Bowled with guile, intelligence and skill as evidenced by his fabulous over to Pietersen that sparked England's collapse. Danish Kaneria may as well set up home permanently in Essex as Ajmal won't be going anywhere for some time.

Wahab Riaz - 8: Came in for Gul to some disquiet from Pakistani followers, but had a dream first day in test cricket with a well deserved five for. The icing on the cake was his patient 27 as nightwatchman, which frustrated England no end.

Mohammad Asif - 8: Was his usual consistent self and even had the generosity to help Cook to his century by his wild shy at the stumps. How he isn't included in the ICC Cricketer of the Year longlist defies belief.

The Boundary View: Pakistan stumble to victory, The Oval, Day Four

Fortune favours the brave

Imran Farhat was rendered virtually strokeless during the Edgbaston test, even managing a 24 ball duck in the first innings. But yesterday he did a passable impersonation of Tamim Iqbal as he launched Pakistan's run chase with a flurry of boundaries. He had some luck, but on this occasion it was definitely a case of fortune favouring the brave.

On the other hand...

Andrew Strauss has never been the most attacking of captains, but his field settings at the start of Pakistan's run chase were negative even by his standards. Given Pakistan's batting weaknesses during the series and their propensity for failing to chase small targets, were boundary saving sweepers needed on both sides of the wicket? The contrast with Australia's attacking approach at Headingley when Pakistan were chasing a similarly small target was stark.

Panic stations

As at Headingley, Pakistan stumbled with the finish line in sight. At lunch it seemed that Pakistan would stroll to victory but the ridiculous run out of Azhar Ali seemingly set the dressing room into a panic. The previously immovable Mohammad Yousuf was undone by a pearler from Anderson and that left the two Akmal brothers at the crease. No wonder Salman Butt suddenly looked worried from the sidelines. Sure enough, Kamran Akmal was leg before offering no shot to Swann. But for once Umar Akmal used his head and after a period of consecutive maidens with 16 runs required led his side over the finishing line in unison with Mohammad Aamer, who had also been at the crease when the winning runs were hit at Headingley.

Player of the day

Salman Butt has impressed in his short tenure as skipper. Pakistan sides of recent vintage would have descended into discontent and recrimination after the heavy defeats of Trent Bridge and Edgbaston, but this one has kept its spirit. Butt should take a lot of credit for that and the way he has handled himself in front of the press has been impressive. So it was nice to see him finally getting some runs yesterday. His captaincy record now stands at two wins and two losses. Would anyone have predicted that on the eve of the Headingley test when he took the reins amidst the chaos of Shahid Afridi's resignation?

Zero of the day

The England batsmen. The collapse may have happened the day before, but the seal was put on it by Stuart Broad's dismissal yesterday in the first over of the day. This meant that England had lost their last seven wickets for 28 in 15 overs. This wasn't the first time in this series that England have subsided either. They lost their last six wickets for 17 at Trent Bridge and their last seven for 46 at Edgbaston. When you chuck in that they also lost their  top six for 98 in the second innings at Trent Bridge, and their top seven for 94 in the first innings here, then there must be a lot of concern in the England dressing room. A few weeks ago we looked at Australia's all too frequent batting collapses, but it would seem that England are just as badly afflicted. At this rate it could be a low-scoring Ashes contest in the winter.

What will happen at Lord's?

Pakistan have a habit of going on unstoppable winning runs (witness the 1992 World Cup), so they will be confident of winning at Lord's and earning a share of the spoils in the series. Yousuf has added solidity and his influence seems to have imbued his batting colleagues with a bit more steel. Aamer and Mohammad Asif continue to impress and England still haven't been able to pick Saeed Ajmal. England on the other hand look like they could do with freshening their line-up, although now that Alastair Cook is in the runs again it is difficult to see where changes could be made to the batting line-up. However, it would be good to see how Ajmal Shahzad would fare as a replacement for Broad.

The Boundary View: England vs Pakistan, The Oval, Day Two

Pakistan were on top for a second successive day at The Oval as they battled to gain a useful first innings lead of 75 before reducing England to 6/1 at the close with Andrew Strauss already back in the hutch.

Form is temporary, class is permanent

Or so the old adage goes. Mohammad Yousuf looked like a man batting from memory when he first came to the crease yesterday - hardly surprising when you consider he has hardly picked up a bat in anger for seven months. But he dug in and rode his luck before lunch whilst still managing to exude enough calmness to inspire nightwatchman Wahab Riaz to almost survive the morning session. Then in partnership with Azhar Ali, the real Yousuf emerged in the afternoon session as he gave a batting masterclass and coaxed Azhar to exhibit his obvious talent in a telling fifth wicket partnership. A hundred looked there for the taking until Graeme Swann induced an ill-timed drive when Yousuf had made 56.

Azhar takes his cue from the old master

Azhar looked a promising batsman when compiling a patient and high-quality fifty during Pakistan's harum scarum run chase against Australia at Headingley in only his second test match. He confirmed this view yesterday at The Oval, showing a lot of heart during his unbeaten 92 and clearly gaining inspiration and confidence from the presence and advice of Yousuf. Azhar deserved a maiden test hundred but if he keeps batting like this, one can only be just around the corner.

Crazy runnings

A good day at the office for Pakistan could have been even better but for another brainstorm from Umar Akmal. His sixth wicket partnership with Azhar had England on the rack, and Akmal was starting to look like the immensely talented batsman we had seen in New Zealand and Australia. So why did he set off for that crazy single just three balls before the new ball was due? Akmal's error probably cost his side a big first innings lead and one wonders how much there is between the ears. Injudicious shot selection, a clear misunderstanding of when and when not to refer decisions and now madcap running. The return of Yousuf and the serenity and advice he can provide to the younger Akmal could yet see his talent flourish. Let's hope so, as the man himself is squandering his abilities at the moment.

Swann makes the ICC eat humble pie

Once again England were indebted to Graeme Swann for keeping them in contention in a test match. It only seems like yesterday that Swann made his bow in India, but the wicket of Yousuf gave him his 100th victim in only 23 tests - the same as Shane Warne. His continued quality showed up the ICC Cricketer of the Year longlist for the farce that it is. How Swann and Mohammad Asif (the leading wicket taker in tests during the qualification period) can be left out in favour of a fading Ricky Ponting, a misfiring Mitchell Johnson and Ryan Harris is beyond belief.

Player of the day

On any other day it would have been Azhar, but we opt for the returning Yousuf. Not only did he play himself back into form before demonstrating his immense class, but he guided and instructed Azhar to do the same. Pakistan's fragile batting line-up clearly needs Yousuf - they look a different side with him in the XI.

Zero of the day

It has to be Strauss, who had a dismal last hour. First he dropped a straightforward chance off Steve Finn to reprieve Asif when he had made only four and thus enabled the last wicket pair to stretch Pakistan's lead to a potentially crucial 75. Then he edged a ball from Mohammad Aamer that he didn't need to play at to first slip and extend his run of test matches without a hundred to 12.

What will happen on day three?

It isn't an exaggeration to state that it is a big day for Alastair Cook, who could be playing for his place. If Pakistan can get Cook and nightwatchman James Anderson early then an England defeat could be on the cards. Don't discount a typical back to the wall performance from Paul Collingwood though and Kevin Pietersen is due a big one. The key man for Pakistan could be Asif.

England vs Pakistan: 2nd test - Pakistan marks out of ten

Another defeat for Pakistan looked inevitable right from Salman Butt's foolhardy call at the toss. Butt's move was intended to  be a positive one, but the negative strokeless approach of Pakistan's batsmen was always likely to be ill-advised and so it proved as they fell to an embarrassing 72 all out. Pakistan could have collapsed into disarray after that, but they didn't and Butt must take some credit for that. His side fought back on both the second and third days to first restrict England to 251 after at one time being 177 for two. Then  the lower order resisted on the third day to avert an innings defeat and at least set England a target. The replacements for Kamran Akmal and Danish Kaneira, Zulqarnain Haider and Saeed Ajmal, both did well. However, there are massive problems to correct before the Oval with the top six batsmen and the abysmal fielding.

Here is how the Pakistan players rated on the Reverse Sweep report card:

Imran Farhat - 5 Was far too negative in the first innings when making a 24 ball duck, but was starting to look good in the second after a lot of hard graft, before his off-stump was removed by a jaffa from Swann. 

Salman Butt - 3 Brave but ill-advised call at the toss had the wheels falling off the Pakistan bus from the start. And it didn't get any better for the captain with two more single figure scores. Looks like he couldn't buy a run at present.

Azhar Ali - 4 Full marks for perspiration but not many for inspiration. Faced a tortuous 32 balls for his duck in the first innings and took a further 15 balls to get his first run in the second. Will be annoyed that he eventually undid his patient work in his second knock to be bowled through the gate by Swann attempting a booming drive.

Shoaib Malik - 3 Shifted up to four to provide some experience and solidity and was promptly out cheaply in both innings. Throughout his career there have been questions raised about Malik's technique at test level and he did nothing to contradict the doubters at Edgbaston. Maybe he was too busy watching his back with Mohammad Yousuf returning to the scene?

Umar Akmal - 4 Clearly has bags of talent, but is low on confidence and suffering from habitual poor shot selection. Looks like he could do with a batting masterclass from the newly arrived Mohammad Yousuf.

Umar Amin - 5 Looked better at six and got starts in both innings. Drives well, but perhaps this tour has come a bit early for this youngster? Struck again with his golden arm, as Trott joined North and Watson as Amin's test victims.

Zulqarnain Haider - 8 Kept tidily in the first innings with the only blemish being spilling an inside edge from Pietersen, but missed a couple of chances off Ajmal's bowling in the second. Nearly bagged a king pair but then showed bundles of character and quality to lead a lower order fightback. All in all, an extremely promising debut. Kamran who?

Mohammad Aamer - 7 Bowled and batted with a lot of heart without getting the wickets he deserved. Hung around for 117 balls for a resilient 16 in the second innings and looks to have the technique to develop into a good number seven. No wonder there are so many comparisons with Wasim Akram.

Umar Gul - 5 Will be devastated that his hamstring will prevent him playing on the expected reverse swing friendly pitches at The Oval and Lord's. Pakistan will miss his quality and experience.

Saeed Ajmal - 8 Where has he been? Bowled with guile and excellent variations in pace and flight to bag a five for as a number of England batsmen failed to pick him. Then scored a spirited first test fifty despite being battered and bruised by the England quicks. Has consigned Danish Kaneira to spending the rest of the summer at Essex. Lucky Danish.

Mohammad Asif - 7 Was his usual reliable self with the ball without grabbing the number of wickets he deserved. Must wish that he played in a team with better batsmen and fielders who can actually catch the ball.

The never-ending soap opera of Pakistan cricket

So, Mohammad Yousuf rides into town on his trusty white steed to save the Pakistan cricket team from further ignominy after the heavy defeat at Trent Bridge. Captain Salman Butt and Coach Waqar Younis were apparently not consulted. It seems a strange decision on a number of counts.

Firstly, Yousuf has not played any serious cricket since March and was supposedly 'retired' from international cricket. Two, if an experienced player was sent for, would it not have made more sense that it was Younis Khan, who at least has played county cricket in the last month or so? Three, why not give the youngsters a go - if you pick 'em, stick with 'em. 

Finally, the introduction of Yousuf into the dressing room could be akin to tossing a grenade into an army barracks. You'd certainly want to be the fly on the wall when Yousuf and Shoaib Malik are reacquainted for the first time. Poor old Salman Butt.

Looking back over the last 18 months, it has certainly been a helluva ride for Pakistan cricket. Resignations, retirements, conspiracies, defeats snatched from the jaws of victory, suspensions, high-class fast bowling, batting collapses and comical wicketkeeping have all featured. The highlights include:

1. March 2009: The terrorist attack on the Sri Lankan team bus in Lahore, which meant that Pakistan can not play at home for the foreseeable future.
2. June 2009: Pakistan winning the World T20 in England with Umar Gul and Shahid Afridi to the fore. Captain Younis Khan seems set for a long reign.
3. July 2009: A topsy-turvy test series with Sri Lanka is lost 2-0 after Pakistan lose the first test when only chasing 168 for victory and then the second after being bowled out for 90 in the first innings, and collapsing in their second innings from 285 for one to 320 all out. They also lose the one day series 3-2. This is where the first conspiracies against Younis' captaincy were said to have occurred with Shoaib 'Machiavelli' Malik the rebel leader.
4. September 2009: Pakistan make the semi-finals of the Champions Trophy in South Africa before losing a game they should have won to New Zealand.
5. November 2009: The action then moves to Dubai, where a one day series is lost 2-1 to New Zealand, before Pakistan beat the same opposition 2-0 in the Twenty 20's that follow.
6. November 2009: Younis quits the captaincy and takes a break from international cricket due to the machinations of Malik and his band of brothers. Yousuf takes over despite Malik manoeuvring behind the scenes himself for the captaincy.
7. December 2009: Despite Umar Akmal announcing himself as a real talent on debut, Pakistan lose a cracking test to New Zealand in Dunedin. Mohammad Asif inspires a win in the next test at Wellington, before rain saves Pakistan at Napier. A 1-1 series result is pretty good considering.
8. December 2009 - February 2010: The Pakistan cricket team becomes more akin to a squadron of kamikaze pilots as they lose every international on the tour of Australia. The ramifications of the lost test at Sydney still linger to this day.
9. March 2010: In their infinite wisdom, the PCB decide after an enquiry into the Australian tour to hand out indefinite bans to Yousuf and Younis, one year suspensions to Malik and Rana Naved and fines to Shahid Afridi and the Akmal brothers. Yousuf announces his immediate 'retirement' from international cricket as a result.
10. April / May 2010: A weakened Pakistan side manages to get out of its group at the World T20 in the Caribbean before Michael Hussey breaks their hearts again in another semi-final where Pakistan snatch defeat from the jaws of victory..
11. June 2010: The bans on Younis and Malik are rescinded on appeal, with Afridi (who hasn't played a test for four years) handed the reins in all forms for the forthcoming Asia Cup and tour of England. Despite being reprieved, Younis is bizarrely left out of all the squads. Yousuf talks of coming back if Pakistan needs him.
12. June 2010: Pakistan perform well at the Asia Cup but bow out after losing tight matches to India and Sri Lanka. Afridi makes hundreds against Sri Lanka and Bangladesh, with spirit and unity seemingly returning to the Pakistan team.
13. July 2010: After beating Australia in two Twenty 20 matches, Pakistan lose the test and their captain at Lord's after Afridi amazingly retires from test cricket after just one game as captain. Salman Butt is handed the poisoned chalice. Pakistan then win a brilliant test at Headingley, after bowling the Aussies out for 88 to square the series, although they do their best to muck up the run chase.
14. August 2010: After suffering a heavy defeat to England at Trent Bridge, with Kamran Akmal having a nightmare behind the stumps, Yousuf is called up to strengthen the batting line-up whilst Danish Kaneira is banished to Essex and county cricket . Whether Yousuf arrives fit enough and in time (and with the requisite visa in hand) for the second test is anyone's guess. But you just can't take your eyes of this particular soap opera. What will happen next?

England vs Pakistan: 1st test - Pakistan marks out of ten

After the euphoria of the Headingley win over Australia, Pakistan came crashing down to earth with a bump at Trent Bridge. The margin of victory didn't tell the whole story however, as on Saturday afternoon with England 98 for six, some Pakistan supporters may have been sensing an unlikely victory.

However, the Pakistan batting is in such a parlous state that even chasing a target of 120 would have probably been beyond them. To say the batters let down the star pace trio of Mohammad Asif, Mohammad Aamer and Umar Gul would be a massive understatement.

The PCB have now pressed the panic button and sent for the cavalry in the shape of the supposedly 'retired' Mohammad Yousuf. That the Pakistan batting needs more quality and experience is a given, but bringing back Yousuf who has not played first class cricket since March seems strange when Younis Khan is also available and has recently played county cricket for Surrey.

The treatment of Danish Kaneira is even worse. Yes, he had an appalling match at Trent Bridge, but he did reasonably well against Australia and to send a man with 261 wickets back to county cricket rather than working with him in the nets seems very peculiar.  

Salman Butt certainly has a lot on his hands, not least the interesting prospect of brokering some sort of peace deal between Yousuf and Shoaib Malik, who have been at daggers drawn for some time. According to Cricinfo, Butt and team coach Waqar Younis were not even consulted about Yousuf's inclusion so the next few weeks could provoke yet more turmoil in the mad world of Pakistan cricket.

Here are the marks out of ten for the XI who played at Trent Bridge:

Imran Farhat - 6 Of the Pakistan top five, Farhat was the best of a bad bunch as at least he fought and stuck around for a while in both innings. The ball from Anderson that bowled him in the first innings was an absolute cracker that better batsmen than Farhat would have struggled to keep out.

Salman Butt - 4 Two single figure scores from the captain, with his dismissal in the second innings being particularly disappointing. Only two matches into his captaincy, Butt now has the interesting prospect of reintegrating the precious Yousuf back into the fold.

Azhar Ali - 4 Foolishly didn't refer his dismissal in the first innings, where he was caught after the ball clipped his pocket and then made a duck in the second innings. Should be retained however, as Azhar looked pretty good against the Aussies.

Umar Amin - 3 Likely to be the fall guy who has to make way for Yousuf, and to tell the truth looks a bit out of his depth at this level. The folly of playing two inexperienced players at three and four cost Pakistan dearly here.

Umar Akmal - 3 Poor dismissals in both innings having only scored four runs each time. The good impression he made in New Zealand and Australia over the winter is fading fast. Is it a lack of confidence or over-confidence?

Shoaib Malik - 6 Looked the most assured of all the Pakistan batsmen in the first innings other than Gul and also took a couple of wickets with his offbreaks. We wonder how much Malik is looking forward to his reunion with Yousuf? Oh, to be a fly on the wall of that particular meeting.

Kamran Akmal - 1 The wicketkeeper was going to have to go some to beat his Sydney flop, but he may just have managed it here. Stood too far back, so missed getting Morgan early during his hundred, dropped a straightforward chance to reprieve Strauss and then there was the astonishing missed stumping of Collingwood. To cap a thoroughly miserable match, Akmal then bagged a pair. Gets a point for his stunning catch to dismiss Pietersen in the second innings, although even that was a bit fortunate given that it stuck in his webbing.

Mohammad Aamer - 8 Showed more application with the bat than any of his supposed specialist batting colleagues, and bowled with heart, fire and skill throughout the game. A real talent.

Umar Gul - 8 Bowled like a drain in the first innings, but his brilliant 65 not out saved Pakistan from the follow-on. This seemed to inspire him and his bowling rhythm returned in the second innings with three deserved wickets.

Danish Kaneira - 2 A game to forget for Kaneria with 1 wicket for 171 from only 33 overs, but does he deserve to be sent back to Essex? A man with 261 test wickets deserves better.

Mohammad Asif - 8 Bowled beautifully on the second morning to inspire an England collapse and then reached his century of test wickets in only his 20th test to equal Waqar's Pakistan record. Rated the second best bowler in the world, and looked every inch of it. Like Aamer and Gul, deserves to be playing in a side with a stronger batting line-up.

Pakistan vs Australia - Pakistan marks out of ten

Pakistan cricket can be accused of a lot of things but boring is not one of them. Accordingly, a wonderful test match at Headingley had a fittingly nail biting ending before Pakistan finally threw the monkey off their backs and beat Australia in a test match for the first time since Mushtaq Ahmed spun them to victory at Sydney in 1995.

It may only have been a two match series, but the MCC Spirit of Cricket Series saw Pakistan field two captains after Shahid Afridi lost his marbles at Lord's. Salman Butt made an impressive start to his reign. He even showed he had that most important of assets a captain needs. Luck. Both times he brought on the part-time medium pace of Umar Amin he was rewarded with a wicket.

Despite possessing arguably the best pace attack in world cricket at the moment (although South African supporters may question that), Pakistan are far from the finished article. Butt is the only batsman who has sufficient experience and class and the side could do with at least one of Younis Khan or Mohammad Yousuf; both of whom average over 50 in test cricket.

That said, some of the ingredients are there to suggest that Pakistan are going to be competitive against England in the forthcoming series. Here are the Reverse Sweep marks out of ten for those that played in the two games against Australia.

Salman Butt - 8 (213 runs, Average 53.25, HS 92): Looked a class apart from his batting colleagues at Lord's, where he should have converted at least one of his fifties into a big hundred. Then from the chaos of Afridi's resignation, he captained the side with aplomb at Headingley. Now needs to get that batting average where it belongs for someone with his talent - over 40.

Imran Farhat - 7 (138 runs, Average 34.50, HS 67): Gets an extra point for his patient and composed 67 in the run chase at Headingley. He may not be the most popular player amongst his own supporters judging by comments on Twitter or Test Match Sofa, but the talent is there. Needs to make his Headingley knock the template for the future.

Azhar Ali - 7 (139 runs, Average 34.75, HS 51): Dropped in at the deep end for his first two test matches at number three and showed plenty of promise. His century partnership with Farhat in the second innings run chase at Headingley should have set up a comfortable win. Looks like he could develop into a decent test match batsman if given a run in the side.

Umar Amin - 4 (59 runs, Average 14.75, HS 33. 2 wickets, Average 9.50): Another debutant thrown to the wolves. Difficult to judge on just two matches, but with Butt suggesting Pakistan will resist the urge to send an SOS for Yousuf or Younis, we should know more about Amin by the end of the summer. Would seem to have a bit of a golden arm with the ball though - just ask Marcus North or Shane Watson.

Umar Akmal - 3 (56 runs, Average 14.00, HS 22): Immensely talented (as he showed on debut against New Zealand) but needs to learn to slip out of Twenty 20 and one day mode when compiling a test innings. Played some outrageous shots in the two games, mostly at inappropriate times. Needs to go back to the drawing board.

Shahid Afridi - 5 (33 runs, Average 16.50, HS 31): He came, he slogged, he retired. If he had hung around for another hour in the first innings at Lord's we would have been talking about one of the great counterattacking test innings. Of course, the script was very different. His brief captaincy though does seem to have brought some spirit and unity back into the Pakistan cricket side.

Shoaib Malik - 5 (36 runs, Average 18.00, HS 26): Mohammad Yousuf's best friend replaced Afridi at Headingley and as so often in his stop-start test career, Malik left many observers questioning whether he is good enough for the five day format. If Pakistan do send for Yousuf or Younis, it should be Malik who makes way.

Kamran Akmal - 6 (74 runs, Average 18.50, HS 46): Actually looked like a test class wicketkeeper again after the horrorshow of Sydney. His three quickfire boundaries in the second innings at Headingley finally settled the match in Pakistan's favour. Still doesn't justify his ability with the bat consistently enough though especially with his side's long tail.

Mohammad Aamer - 9 (11 wickets, Average 22.27, BB 4/72): This boy is going to be special. Wasim Akram has already conceded that Aamer is better than he was at the same age, which tells you all you need to know. Has wonderful variations of attack and a cunning brain. Has now dismissed Ponting four times in five tests, which will make him popular with England supporters. And he is only 18.

Umar Gul - 8 (8 wickets, Average 23.62, BB 4/61): The third part of Pakistan's fearsome pace triumvirate bowled well in both matches especially in the second innings at Lord's. Will hope for a hot English summer so that he can get his reverse swing going.

Mohammad Asif - 9 (11 wickets, Average 23.00, BB 3/30): Has unerring accuracy and it would seem comes from the same school of metronomic bowling as Glenn McGrath. Has 94 wickets from 19 tests at an average of 23.18. With controversy now behind him, Asif could now be set to challenge Dale Steyn for the title of the best seamer in the world.

Danish Kaneira - 6 (6 wickets, Average 34.33, BB 2/49): Played the support role to his trio of pacemen and did a decent enough job. Wouldn't have enjoyed his treatment from fellow leggie Steve Smith in the Australian second innings at Headingley.   

Openers - an endangered species?

Once upon a time an opening batsman, especially a test match opening batsman used to be a member of an exclusive club. Noticeably different from their middle order colleagues in style and technique, the opening batsman was considered a specialist role and certainly not one that non-openers were queueing up to try.

My, how things have changed. These days the number of specialist openers actually opening the batting is so few, I am starting to wonder if they are going the way of the dodo.

Take Australia for example. Shane Watson used to be an injury prone, under-performing all-rounder who was lucky to bat as high as six. Now he has been reborn as a test match opener who has surprised everyone (probably even himself) by being a success and keeping a specialist opener with a career average of 60 (Phillip Hughes) out of the side. His partner in crime is another former middle-order batsman turned opener in Simon Katich, who has also been significantly more successful since his rebirth.

Other countries are no different. Tillakaratne Dilshan was an underperforming number six who was in and out of the Sri Lankan side. Now he is Son of Sehwag and has taken to opening like a politician to sleaze as he replaced another reinvented opener Sanath Jayasuriya at the top of the order. Sehwag himself, lest it not be forgotten, was also a middle order batsman before realising that his best route to a regular spot in the Indian team was to reinvent how openers should approach test cricket.

Maybe teams like Pakistan and New Zealand should take note. The former have never replaced Saeed Anwar as a succession of specialist openers have struggled in the role since his retirement. Maybe Umar Akmal should have a go at emulating Sehwag and Dilshan? The Black Caps have similarly struggled since the departure of Mark Richardson (and he started as a number 11!) and arguably even all the way back to John Wright. I am sure that SuperDan(iel Vettori) will soon be taking on that role as well.

Chris Gayle and Tamim Iqbal are hardly typical opening batsmen, with their carefree approach more Sehwag than Boycott. And even those starch conservatives South Africa have taken to reinventing Ashwell Price and Neil McKenzie, one with more success than the other, rather than picking a specialist opener to partner Graeme Smith.

Which leaves England. Here at last in the bastion of cricket tradition is a test side with two specialist openers in Andrew Strauss and Alastair Cook. Forget fads like pinch-hitters. Forget reinventing Kevin Pietersen as an opener, specialists like cucumber sandwiches and warm beer will continue to be the preserve of at least on cricket team in the World.

So whilst thanks to the home of cricket, the specialist opener is not quite extinct yet, they clearly need an endangered species tag around their necks.

The real face of Ijaz Butt revealed...

Following the execution of Mohammad Yousuf and Younis Khan and the incarceration or shaming of Shoaib Malik, Shahid Afridi, Naved-ul-Hasan and the Akmal brothers, the real sinister face of PCB chairman Ijaz Butt is revealed...

Ijaz 'Davros' Butt and PCB daleks exterminate Pakistan cricket

Fans of Doctor Who and Pakistan cricket will be hoping that the Tardis lands at the HQ of the PCB as soon as possible after Ijaz Butt and his Dalek cronies decided that the best cure for Pakistan cricket's ills was to exterminate most of its best players.

 

As a result of the inquiry into the disastrous tour of Australia, Butt has taken unprecedented action and effectively sacked Mohammad Yousuf and Younis Khan from the Pakistan side for good. One year bans have been given to Shoaib Malik and Naved-ul-Hasan, and suspended sentences and heavy fines to the Akmal brothers and Shahid Afridi.

According to Cricinfo, the PCB said that "Mohammad Yousuf and Younis Khan, keeping in view their infighting which resulted in bringing down the whole team, their attitude has a trickledown effect which is a bad influence for the whole team should not be part of national team in any format." So the two have been exterminated forthwith, which is incredible given that even the leaders of the Royal Bank of Scotland were not dealt with so severely after they bought the bank and the UK economy to the brink of extinction.

Malik and Naved have also apparently been punished for disruptive behaviour although the PCB statement didn't gp into detail. Certainly the spat between Yousuf and Malik over the captaincy plummeted to schoolboy levels, but bans seem a bit of an over -reaction to say the least.

The Akmal brothers were stunned rather than exterminated by the daleks for the farce following the Sydney test when Kamran insisted he would play at Hobart and Umar apparently feigned injury when his brother's exclusion finally became inevitable. And Afridi was fined for mistaking a cricket ball for an apple with the PCB spokesman explaining "for the shameful act of Shahid Khan Afridi, which has brought the game and country into disrepute, he be fined Rupees 3 million."Reportedly, Afridi was surrounded by daleks and was only spared after he begged for forgiveness.

So what next for Pakistan cricket? The situation is now such a mess that even the Doctor's sonic screwdriver may not be enough to save Pakistan from the abyss and the all powerful Davros Butt. 

An XI of youngsters to shine in 2010 and beyond

And so the noughties have passed and a new decade dawns. Who will be the new names to shine in 2010 and beyond? An XI of likely stars is presented below, with all players, minus one exception, under 23 and that player (Khawaja) is only four weeks past his 23^rd birthday. Some are already establishing themselves in international cricket, others beginning to make their mark in domestic cricket. Look out for them as they could become to the new decade what Ponting, Kallis, Pietersen, Laxman, Flintoff, Gilchrist, McGrath and Warne et al were to the past decade.

 

1. Adrian Barath (West Indies), Age 19 – A brilliant century on test debut at the Gabba followed directly on from an impressive contribution to Trinidad & Tobago’s march to the Champions League Final. The next West Indian batting star has arrived.  

2. Alex Hales (Nottinghamshire), Age 21 – Picked mainly on the strength of his superlative 150 not out from 102 balls (including eight sixes) in a Pro 40 match against Worcestershire last summer, which I was fortunate enough to see. The tall right-hander could prove a suitable successor to Marcus Trescothick at the top of the England order in time.

3. Usman Khawaja (New South Wales), Age 23 – Pakistan born Khawaja is likely to become the first Muslim to represent Australia. He is certainly making waves for New South Wales, where he is firmly established at first drop in a powerful line-up. A possible outsider for the Ashes in November?

4. Virat Kohli (India), Age 21 – ODI and first-class averages in excess of 50 and increasingly mature performances for India in the current Tri-Series in Bangladesh suggest that Kohli is at the head of the queue to replace Sachin, Laxman or Dravid when they eventually raise their bat for the last time.

5. Umar Akmal (Pakistan), Age 19 – A brilliant start to his test career followed impressive displays in the World T20 and Champions Trophy. Looks an absolutely sparkling talent and certainly one to watch when Pakistan tour England in the summer.

6. Mitchell Marsh (Western Australia), Age 18 – The son of Geoff and brother of Shaun has had limited first-class exposure to date, but has already set pulses racing Down Under. An immensely powerful batsman who also bowls useful medium pace, Marsh is about to lead the Australian side in the under-19 World Cup.  

7. Craig Kieswetter (Somerset), Age 22 – The latest South African born player to qualify for England. The Somerset keeper qualifies in February and don’t be surprised to see him in the ODI team at least by the end of the year.

8. Shakib Al Hasan (Bangladesh), (Captain), Age 22 – Granted I am not really sticking my neck out on this pick. Left hand batsman and slow-left armer Shakib is already Bangladesh’s best player and captain, and will be looking to surprise England in the imminent home and away series’ in 2010.   

9. Mohammad Aamer (Pakistan), Age 17 – The astonishingly talented Aamer is already an automatic pick for Pakistan in all formats and became the youngest bowler ever to take a five for in test history in the Boxing Day test at the MCG. The left arm quick evokes the great Wasim Akram and will be a serious danger to England’s batsmen in the summer.

10. Wayne Parnell (South Africa), Age 20 – The left arm quick could make an immediate impression if selected for the Johannesburg test. Even if he doesn’t, expect him to make the test side shortly, where Parnell will hope to repeat the wicket taking ability he has already displayed in the ODI and T20I arenas.

11. Kemar Roach (West Indies), Age 21 – The pick of the West Indian seamers in the recent series with Australia where he reassembled Ricky Ponting’s elbow. Roach should help play a key role in the renaissance of the West Indies cricket side over the coming years.

12^th Man. Rory Hamilton-Brown (Surrey), Age 22 – Millfield educated Hamilton-Brown has just been appointed Surrey’s new captain at the age of 22. If all goes well, the hard-hitting middle order batsman and off-break bowler could be knocking on the England door in one to two years.

The next Sachin?

Now Pakistan have a habit of producing wonderfully talented teenagers

But Umar, brother of Kamran, could be the best of the lot

Eye catching performances in the World T20 and ICC Champions Trophy

Then a hundred on test debut on a seam friendly pitch at Dunedin

And 75 to boot in the second innings in a brave attempt to win the match

His good form continued throughout the rest of the series against the Kiwis

But now a step up in class, opposition and occasion

Against a fired up Australian side with their tails up in the Boxing Day test

And Umar fires four, four, six and four off Siddle

A magnificent fifty at the MCG

But who does he remind people of?

A young Sachin maybe?