We're pleased we set our Sky+ box to record day two of the Sydney Test between Australia and India.
Well, kind of. Whilst like most people watching we enjoyed seeing Ricky Ponting finally make his 40th Test hundred - a saga even longer than Sachin Tendulkar's quest for that 100th hundred. We also enjoyed a real gem of an innings from Michael Clarke.
Sadly for some of the Channel 9 cheerleaders, Ponting and Clarke's momentous knocks were merely a sideshow as they salivated over Rianna Ponting and Clarke's new girlfriend Kyly Boldy.
As Ponting entered the nervous nineties, the cameras spent as much time on a nervous Rianna as it did on the action in the field. We were worried they were going to miss Ponting reaching his hundred. Luckily they didn't as the desperate dive for that priceless final run as Zaheer just missed the stumps was pure theatre.
Then Channel 9 did an interview with Rianna. I am sure she's a lovely lady but please save interviews with cricketers WAGS for the Australian equivalent of This Morning.
Once Ponting departed the focus turned to the admittedly stunning Kyly. Tony Grieg could barely contain himself, informing us that "she looks like she's enjoying herself" leaving us wondering whether Grieg was merely making an observation or falling victim to over-excited wishful thinking.
As Clarke passed 200, one would have thought that the discussion would be about his highly impressive first six months or so as captain and how the added responsibility has improved his batting. Not a bit of it. It was all Kyly by now. We didn't get an interview with her, but we're sure we see Slats sneak over to see if there was any chance of a threesome after play.
Australia are starting to look like a good side in the making and India are in danger of a second successive whitewash in a four Test series overseas. But Grieg, Slats and Healy don't care about that when they can drool over Kyly instead. Sad old men.
There are many reasons why Tony Greig is anything but a hero. His role as recruiting sergeant for World Series Cricket when England captain, saying that he would make the West Indies "grovel" and being part of the comical Channel 9 commentary team to name but three.
But in the Brisbane Test of the 1974/75, Greig was a brave and valiant hero in the face of the bumper barrage of Jeff Thomson and Dennis Lillee that proved too much for the rest of his side. And given that Greig supposedly intensified the ferocity of the attack from the Aussie pace duo, it was a good thing too.
Australia batted first and towards the end of their innings Greig, who could generate significant lift from his 6'7" frame bounced Lillee. The ball reared at his head and he could do no more than glove it to Alan Knott. "Just you remember who started this,"muttered Lillee as he trooped off.
As the full savagery of Thomson and Lillee was unleashed, England succumbed. All except Greig who hit a brave and brilliant counterattacking hundred. He continued to wind up the Australians too by shadowboxing bouncers, signalling his own boundaries and goading Lillee in the process - "That's four, fetch that."
It may not have been a wise strategy for a bruised and battered England as they lost the battle and the war as the series went 4-1 to Australia, but Greig's admirable bravado earned him respect from the Australian crowds and probably helped cast the die for his ultimate key role in the formation of World Series Cricket. Greig has many faults as we outlined at the start, but at Brisbane in 1974 he was a courageous if perhaps foolhardy hero.
Throughout the history of the oldest and longest running international sporting contest, the Ashes have not been without their moments of controversy, most famously of course in the ‘Bodyline’ series of 1932-33 when Douglas Jardine’s leg theory strategy to nullify Bradman and his general animosity to all things Australian nearly led to a diplomatic incident between the two countries.
So to mark us reaching number 33 in our Ashes countdown, here are ten of the best Ashes controversies we’ve managed to dig out from the history books:
1. “Bodyline”
The most rancorous cricket series of them all. It slid from crisis to crisis and having at one time reached governmental level looked set to be called off. An unrepentant Jardine spoke openly of his dislike of all things Australian and there were near-riots at Adelaide. Despite overwhelming pressure the immovable Jardine refused to change his strategy and England won 4-1. The controversy ran on though and prompted rule changes, which effectively outlawed Bodyline tactics. Larwood never played for England again and Jardine’s captaincy ended before the teams next met in England in 1934.
2. Fisticuffs and withdrawals
Today’s PCB may be bad but 100 years ago the Australian Board of Control (BOC) was even worse. A meeting to confirm the touring party to England in 1912 resulted in a fight between Australia’s captain Clem Hill and BOC representative Peter McAllister. As part of the fallout Hill and five other leading players - Warwick Armstrong, Victor Trumper, Tibby Cotter, Hanson Carter and Vernon Ransford - refused to tour and Australia were soundly beaten.
3. Vandals stopped play
The last day of the third Test of the 1975 series at Headingley was evenly poised with Australia 225 for 3 chasing 420 to win the series and so retain the Ashes. However, the pitch was vandalised overnight by protesters campaigning for the release of convicted robber George Davis. Captains Tony Grieg and Ian Chappell both reluctantly agreed the game could not continue, although rain would have meant a draw in any case. Davis was freed the following year but was soon behind bars again after being caught red-handed.
4. Captain Pratt
Ricky Ponting’s frustration at England’s bowlers continually taking breaks from the field of play during the 2005 series boiled over at Nottingham when he was run out by substitute fielder Gary Pratt. As the video shows as he left the field, Ponting visibly swore and gesticulated at the England dressing room. England won a tight match by three wickets after collapsing when chasing a small target.
5. The Packer Affair
The 1977 series in England was completely overshadowed by the furore surrounding World Series Cricket, news of which broke as the Australian side arrived. Mike Brearley, who replaced the sacked WSC player recruiter and ringleader Tony Grieg, led England to a 3-0 win against a divided Australian side full of soon-to-be Packer players. International cricket would never be the same again.
6. The Aluminium Bat
Although not strictly an Ashes controversy due to the Ashes not being at stake in the three match 1979-80 series, the episode of Dennis Lillee’s aluminium bat is still worthy of inclusion. England captain Brearley, sporting a beard that made him look an Ayatollah, strongly objected and two proud men went toe to toe. The umpires sided with Brearley and in frustration, Lillee flung the bat across the WACA pitch. Priceless.
7. Bottles and walk-offs
After a long and drawn out series, the 1970-71 encounter went down to a decider at Melbourne. In a tight match, England’s John Snow was warned for short-pitched bowling after striking Terry Jenner on the head. The crowd didn’t like it either and Snow was grabbed by a spectator and bottles and cans were thrown at him. England captain Ray Illingworth responded by leading his side from the field. They returned after warnings from officials, and with their resolve emboldened won by 62 runs to regain the Ashes.
8. Chuckers and draggers
England were thrashed 4-0 in 1958-59, but much of their ire was reserved for what they considered the illegality of some of the bowlers they faced – throwing in the case of Ian Meckiff and dragging by the ‘Blond Giant’ Gordon Rorke. Later events would suggest that England were right where Meckiff was concerned when he was called for throwing four times in his only over in the first test of the 1963/64 home series with South Africa.
9. Gower goes to the theatre
The 1989 series was a disaster for England and captain David Gower regularly felt the heat of some pretty hostile press conferences. After a dismal third day at Lord’s in the second test, Gower answered a few questions before deciding it was all too much and stood up to announce that he had tickets for the theatre to see Anything Goes, that the taxi was waiting, and then proceeded to walk out stage left leaving a bemused press lost for words. Even though Gower returned after the rest day and scored a hundred, his reign was doomed. As were England.
10. 500-1
Our last controversy would have caused headlines across the World today, but in a more innocent 1981 rarely raised a whimper. With England crashing to seeming defeat at Headingley in 1981,Dennis Lillee and Rod Marsh couldn’t resist the odds of 500/1 for the England win. Then came the heroics of Botham and Willis, which led England to the most unlikeliest of victories. Rightfully, no-one questioned the efforts of Lillee and Marsh though who both battled to the end in an attempt to lose their stake.
Being a child of the late 1970s and 1980s, the English all-rounder that immediately springs to mind for an all-time England Ashes XI is that hammer of the Aussies - Ian Botham. But before we come to Beefy, there are a handful of other English all-rounders who warrant consideration.
When you read the reports of the time about the 1981 Ashes Series where Botham almost single-handedly ensured that the Ashes stayed in English hands, a number of writers compared Botham's quickfire hundreds at Headingley and Old Trafford in terms of brutality to Gilbert Jessop.
Even as a nine year old this piqued our interest to find out more about Jessop. We quickly learnt that like Botham in 1981, Jessop had turned an Ashes test match England's way pretty much on his own. in The Oval test of 1902, Jessop came to the crease with England 48 for five chasing 263 for the win and proceeded to make 104 out of 139 in 75 minutes, taking England to an improbable victory. However, this was the only time that Jessop's star really shone in test cricket despite many similar feats at county level.
The next all-rounder has much more claim to be England's greatest despite playing his first test as a number 11 (indeed he was at the crease when England hit the winning runs in Jessop's test). The legendary Yorkshireman Wilfred Rhodes is the highest wicket taker ever in first-class cricket with 4204 victims. By the time he retired after a long and glittering career he had become Jack Hobbs' test opening partner. In Ashes tests, Rhodes snared 109 victims in 41 tests at 24 and hit 1706 runs at 31 including one hundred (179 at Melbourne in 1912). Even if he doesn't get the nod here then Rhodes will come into the frame again when we look at the spinners.
The third candidate is Tony Grieg. Like Botham, the South African born all-rounder was a larger than life character who thrived on standing toe to toe with the Australians. In 1974/75, England were outgunned, outclassed and undone by the pace of Thomson and Lillee, but Grieg was uncowed as evidenced by his brave hundred at Brisbane where he riled the Australian bowlers by signalling his own boundaries. In all Grieg played in 20 Ashes tests, hitting 1244 runs at 36.58 and taking 42 wickets at 38.03 with his cunning brand of medium pace. Unlike Botham and the final candidate, Grieg was also a decent captain.
Post-Botham, we lost count of the number of so-called English all-rounders who were tagged as the 'New Botham', but it wasn't until the emergence of Andrew Flintoff that a true successor presented himself. Due to injury, Freddie had to wait until 2005 to make his Ashes bow, but he made up for lost time by being the man of the series with 402 runs and 24 wickets and putting in a Bothamesque performance in the infamous Edgbaston test in particular. Things didn't go so well of course, when Flintoff led England to a 5-0 defeat in 2006/07. He bounced back in 2009 when he may have played a peripheral role in the series, but he did provide crucial flashes of brilliance such as on the final morning at Lord's and in his run out of Ponting at The Oval. In all, Flintoff played 14 tests against the Australians and hit 856 runs at 34.24 and took 43 wickets at 36.11.
But it is Botham that stands out from the crowd. From the moment he took five wickets on debut at Trent Bridge in 1977, Botham put in a series of inspirational performances whenever the Baggy Green came into view. In all, he played in seven Ashes series, winning five and it was Botham who invariably played the crucial innings or took the vital wickets that took England past the winning post. In addition to his well-documented heroics of 1981, Botham took 31 wickets in the 1985 series and hit a hundred at Brisbane and took a five for at Melbourne in the two wins in the 1986/87 series. In all, he took 128 Ashes wickets (he took another 19 in the 1979/80 series where the Ashes weren't at stake) at 28.04 and took seven five fors. In addition, he hit three hundreds (four if you include the one at Melbourne in the aforementioned 1979/80 series) and scored 1486 runs at 29.13.
For his ability to win test matches single-handedly and his all-round brilliance and dominant personality, there is only one possibility for the all-rounder position in an all-time England Ashes XI and that is IT Botham.
In 1976, the Sex Pistols appeared on the Today show hosted by Bill Grundy and the juggernaut that was Punk Rock revolutionised the music scene across the world and especially in the UK forever. However, a couple of years before, a very different revolution took place in the 1974/75 Ashes series in Australia.
A confident and experienced England team arrived expecting to successfully defend the Ashes, but their balloon of optimism was soon burst by an Australian side that more closely resembled a rock band (just look at the footage, if you don't believe me) than a cricket team. Ian Chappell's team could certainly play cricket however and they did it in a ruthless and unforgiving fashion. They were fronted by a couple of tearaway fast bowlers in Dennis Lillee and Jeff Thomson.
"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust; if Lillee don't get you Thommo must!"
So read one of the banners adorning cricket grounds down under that summer. And boy was it accurate as Thomson took 33 wickets and Lillee 25 as England were simply blown away. Just over 40 years after Douglas Jardine's masterly strategy of directing the ball at the Australian batsmen during the Bodyline series, Lillee and Thomson did something remarkably similar even if Chappell didn't resort to Jardine's now outlawed leg theory fields.
Actually more English batsmen suffered broken bones during this series, which was still in the days before helmets, than had their Australian counterparts 40 years before. There was no outcry this time of course, partly due to the jingoistic and baying nature of the Australian crowds, but also because of the 'win at all costs' mentality was now inbred into the game.
This new method of attack was certainly too much for England's frail batting line-up, which included David 'Bumble' Lloyd. In the 1st test at Brisbane despite a courageous hundred from Tony Grieg, Australia won by a convincing margin of 166 runs with Thomson taking six for 46 and breaking the hands of Amiss and Edrich. This prompted England to recall the 42 year old veteran Colin Cowdrey for the second test. On arriving at the crease, Cowdrey went up to Thomson with his hand outstretched and said:
"I don't believe we've met. My name's Cowdrey"
Wonderful stuff and he duly played the two lightningly quick Australian bowlers as well as anyone in making 22 and 41, but England still lost heavily by nine wickets. The third test at Melbourne was in contrast a very close match, which ended on the fifth day with Australia just eight runs short of victory with two wickets in hand. The out of form England captain Mike Denness dropped himself for the fourth test but it didn't help England's slide as Australia won easily by 171 runs to secure the return of the Ashes. The script of the summer continued in the next test at Adelaide as despite 11 wickets for Derek Underwood, Australia cantered to a 163 run win.
England did manage to win the final test at Melbourne with Denness, having recaptured his form during the state matches, hitting 188 as England won by an innings. But just like England's habit of winning dead rubber matches in the Australian dominated series' of the nineties, this was a hollow victory given that Thomson didn't play due to injury and Lillee only bowled six overs.
Australia's team of larrikins went on to dominate briefly - even beating the West Indies 5-1 in Australia the following summer, before the World Series Cricket schism led to the premature break-up of the side. But make no mistake, the Australian team of 1974-75 was a seriously good side as the video below demonstrates.
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