The Reverse Sweep

Cricket XIs: World Cup Golden Oldie XI

 
After the first six days of the World Cup, we couldn’t help noticing at The Reverse Sweep that a number of players are – how should we put it – knocking on a bit.

The number of thirty-something’s on show certainly seems significant and even if no–one can quite match the feat of Jack Hobbs, by playing international cricket beyond their 50th birthday, there are a number who will be qualifying for their bus pass in the not so distant future.

The only team bucking the trend is Bangladesh, whose oldest player is spinner Abdur Razzak at 28. Anyway here is our XI of Golden Oldies, which with the oldest wicketkeeper in the tournament being Brad Haddin at a sprightly 33, sees Ricky Ponting wearing the gloves – yes, we were feeling sadistic when we picked this team:

 John Davison (age today 40 years, 292 days)

Where best to start then with the oldest man in the tournament and the only one the wrong side of 40? Davison scored a World Cup hundred off only 67 balls against West Indies in 2003, and would still probably be playing in the next tournament if it wasn’t for the dastardly ICC deciding to bar the minnows. The rotters.

Sachin Tendulkar (37 years, 307 days)

Like a particularly excellent vintage of Chateau Lafitte, the Little Master keeps getting better and better with age. He already has 445 ODI caps and 46 hundreds, but will this World Cup be his last foray in the ODI arena?

Ricky Ponting (36 years, 68 days)

Unlike Tendulkar, if Ponting was a wine he would be well and truly corked such have his powers diminished over the last two years. As the runs have dried up, the frequency of temper tantrums have increased. Television sets across India, beware of Mr Angry.

Shivnarine Chanderpaul (36 years, 193 days)

Chanderpaul is one of those players who seem to have been around for ever. Maybe it is because all of those tedious nudge and nurdle innings have blended into one long nightmare. Indeed, Chanderpaul has been around so long, he may even have had a cabin in Noah’s Ark.

Misbah-ul-Haq (36 years, 273 days)

It seems strange that a batsman of Misbah’s ability has only played 64 ODI, but he has been in and out of the Pakistan side more times than an overused jack from his box. The younger Pakistan batsmen could learn from Misbah’s resilience and calmness under pressure.

Steve Tikolo (39 years, 245 days)

The veteran of five World Cups is widely regarded as one of the best batsmen never to play Test cricket. Judging by his performances against New Zealand and Pakistan in this tournament however, it would seem that Tikolo’s powers have gone in the opposite direction to his girth. Makes Jesse Ryder look slim.

Trent Johnston (36 years, 302 days)

Ireland’s adopted Aussie challenges Scott Styris (another who is the wrong side of 35) as the ugliest man in the tournament. In fact there is something positively Transylvanian about the features of the dogged all-rounder. Given that vampires are immortal, perhaps Johnston is actually much older than his reported 36 years?

Andre Botha (35 years, 166 days)

Ireland’s other golden oldie and adopted South African (well England are doing it, so why not Ireland too?) will always be remembered for his magnificent two for five from eight overs in the shock victory over Pakistan in the 2007 World Cup.

Brett Lee (34 years, 109 days)

We were actually surprised when we saw that Lee was only 34 - making him the youngster in this side. However, given that he still manages to bowl consistently over 90mph, Lee’s body is closer to that of a creaking septuagenarian. Even so, Lee was still too good for England in the recent ODI series and gave Australia the attack leader it sorely lacked during the Ashes series. Just don’t let him sing.

Shoaib Akhtar (35 years, 196 days)

Has anyone ever sweated as much as Shoaib? Maybe it is a side-effect of genital warts or even the alleged liposuction operation he had (which surely he should claim a refund for?). No one can fault his effort though, even if it is restricted to two over spells at most these days.   

Muttiah Muralitharan (38 years, 314 days)

The World Cup will be Murali’s last hurrah as an international cricketer and no doubt he’ll smile his way through the whole tournament. Will he bow out with a second World Cup winner’s medal? A billion Indians hope not.

Where next?

An XI of players likely to bid a fond farewell to ODI after the World Cup

Our XI to shine at the World Cup

The real reason why Ricky Ponting smashed that television

Read all our World Cup posts here

Check out our other Reverse Sweep XIs

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

XIs: An au revoir to ODI cricket after the World Cup XI

 
Come the end of the World Cup, a number of leading players are likely to announce their retirement from ODIs. The following names with one notable exception make quite an XI – good enough perhaps to win the tournament if they could participate as an Invitation XI:

Sachin Tendulkar

The greatest ODI batsman of all-time, along with Viv Richards. Having severely curtailed the number of ODIs he participated in during 2010, the Little Master is likely to bow out of the format after the World Cup. Will he retire having led India to glory in the final in Mumbai? And will he score the three centuries he needs to reach 100 international hundreds?

Andrew Strauss

The England captain is 34 and has never looked entirely at ease in this format despite the attacking approach he has adopted since returning to the side in the Caribbean in 2009. The end of the tournament could be a good time to bow out, handing the reins to Alastair Cook and enabling Strauss to concentrate on the task of making England the number one test side in the World.

Ricky Ponting

The Australian captain’s gradual decline with the bat gathered spun out of control during the Ashes and this World Cup could well prove to be his last appearance in the Australian canary yellow shirt. If he manages to lead his side to an unlikely fourth successive triumph (and the third for Ponting as skipper) then he will have repaired some of the damage to his reputation caused by his woeful performances in the Ashes.

Jacques Kallis

Kallis is a big unit and despite his new head of hair, the years are catching up with him and injuries are becoming more frequent. Like the three illustrious names above him in this XI, Kallis too may decide that giving up the 50 over format will help prolong his test career, whilst also helping him earn the IPL megabucks.

Paul Collingwood

His poor return with the bat during the Ashes precipitated a premature retirement from Test cricket and unless he can recapture his form during the World Cup, England’s Ginger Ninja may decide to hang up his ODI cap after the competition too. Durham may be seeing even more of its favourite son in the forthcoming season.

Shahid Afridi

With the unpredictable Afridi anything is possible. So don’t rule out Boom Boom dropping a bombshell after the tournament and announcing his retirement from all cricket to take up a slot on Strictly Come Dancing. He is fond of a pirouette after all.

Kamran Akmal

If the butter-fingered keeper continues to spill chances behind the stumps and disappoint with the bat, he is likely to be ‘retired’ by an irate Ijaz Butt. That would be one life ban that no Pakistani supporter would complain about.

Brett Lee

It would come as no great surprise if Lee’s body gave up the ghost at the end of the competition. One wonders if he is in India just to promote his fledgling singing career. Could yet become the new James Blunt – as if we needed another one.

Shoaib Akhtar

A bowler who looks knackered after bowling just two overs on the spin, can’t last much longer, surely? A career in Bollywood awaits providing that the genital warts don’t return of course.

Zaheer Khan

It is a miracle that Zaheer has managed to come into this tournament fit and surely he will choose to concentrate on Test cricket and IPL riches after the World Cup. India should wrap him up in cotton wool, because without him the Test attack looks threadbare to say the least.

Muttiah Muralitharan

We know for certain that this will be the last time we see Murali in international cricket. Can he inspire Sri Lanka to repeat the glory of 1996?

Where next?

Check out our other Reverse Sweep XIs

World Cup Team previews: Part 1 - India: Glory or effigies?

World Cup Team Previews: Part 2 - South Africa: Don't mention the 'C' word...

World Cup Team Previews: Part 3 - Bangladesh: Shock & Awe

World Cup Team Previews: Part 4 - West Indies: Calypso or Collapso?

World Cup Team Previews: Part 5 - England: How far can resilience take them?

World Cup Team Previews: Part 6 - Ireland/Canada/Kenya/Netherlands: Last chance for the minnows?

World Cup Team Previews: Part 7 - Zimbabwe - An army of spin

World Cup Team Previews: Part 8 - Australia: Four in a row?

World Cup Team Previews: Part 9 - Pakistan: Tigers or Pussies?

World Cup Team previews: Part 10 - Sri Lanka: Will lightning strike twice?

Our XI to shine at the World Cup

Check out all our Reverse Sweep heroes and zeroes including Brett Lee, Sachin Tendulkar, Paul Collingwood, Kamran Akmal and Muttiah Muralitharan

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

World Cup Team Previews: Pakistan - Tigers or pussies?

 
After all the furore of the spot-fixing scandal, Pakistan have been doing rather nicely, thank you very much. After running England and South Africa close in ODI series’, New Zealand were put to the sword only a matter of weeks ago. The more chaotic it gets, the better that Pakistan seem to perform. So just how do you predict the unpredictable?

Strengths

Despite the enforced absence of Aamer and Asif, Pakistan still has strength and variety in its attack with the brilliant Gul, backed up by Wahab Riaz, Shoaib Akhtar and the impressive spinner Abdur Rehman. The emergence of the talented Ahmed Shehzad more than compensates for the suspended Butt and Misbah and Younis Khan have brought much needed stability to the middle order. And then there is Shahid Afridi and Abdul Razzaq.

Weaknesses

Pakistan’s unpredictability can be a strength, but it also means that they habitually snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Kamran Akmal is a liability with bat and gloves and the fielding is shambolic at best.

Main man

Misbah-ul-Haq’s form has been a revelation since he came back into the side and he just pips Gul and Shehzad for this accolade.

Look out for…

Shahid Afridi, whether with bat or ball, directing his troops, eating cricket balls or pirouetting in the middle of the pitch, you just can’t keep your eyes off him.

Prediction

3rd in the group after a typically harrowing defeat against Australia, before bouncing back to beat serial chokers South Africa in the quarter-finals to set up the mother of all semi-finals with India. It is there that we predict that Pakistan’s World Cup journey will come to an end.

Where next?

Why Salman Butt commentating at the World Cup is a good idea

Exclusive: The New Ten Point Pakistan Player Code of Conduct

World Cup Team previews: Part 1 - India: Glory or effigies?

World Cup Team Previews: Part 2 - South Africa: Don't mention the 'C' word...

World Cup Team Previews: Part 3 - Bangladesh: Shock & Awe

World Cup Team Previews: Part 4 - West Indies: Calypso or Collapso?

World Cup Team Previews: Part 5 - England: How far can resilience take them?

World Cup Team Previews: Part 6 - Ireland/Canada/Kenya/Netherlands: Last chance for the minnows?

World Cup Team Previews: Part 7 - Zimbabwe - An army of spin

World Cup Team Previews: Part 8 - Australia: Four in a row?

Our XI to shine at the World Cup

Check out all our Reverse Sweep heroes and zeroes including Kamran Akmal, Salman Butt, Shoaib Malik and Younis Khan

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

England's Dirty Dozen

 
After all the talk of securing the Ashes before Christmas and going through the tour unbeaten, England certainly came crashing back down to earth in Perth. Indeed, the collapse from 78/0 to 187 all out in the first innings was so disappointing that Icarus himself could have been the pilot of England’s doom. And it got worse in the second innings too with the capitulation for 123 reminding us that being an England cricket fan can be tough.

In fact, with alarming regularity, England’s batting has a tendency to brittleness and being prone to collapse like a house of cards in a force nine gale. On far too many occasions in our 30 years of following England expectation and anticipation can quickly turn into crushing disappointment, misery and despair.

Here is a dirty dozen of England’s worst batting performances over this time. Unfortunately, it is not an exhaustive list but merely one compiled of those disasters that come most easily to mind.

1. 51 all out, 2^nd innings, vs West Indies, 1^st Test, Kingston, 2009

In an inauspicious start for Andy Flower in his  first match in charge, England started their 2^ndinnings 74 runs behind. Just 33.2 overs later England were all out for 51. Coincidentally, this was almost a role reversal of what had happened at the same ground five years before when Steve Harmison, with 7 for 12 had bowled the West Indies out for 47.

2. 46 all out, 2^nd innings, vs West Indies, 3^rd Test, Port of Spain, 1994

Having played well throughout the match, England had been set 194 to win and were confident even though they needed to get the better of Curtly Ambrose and Courtney Walsh to reach their target. Nineteen overs of hostile fast bowling later, England were dismissed for a paltry 46, Ambrose with 6 for 24 and Walsh 3 for 16.

3. 79 all out, 2^nd innings, vs Australia, 1^st Test, Brisbane, 2003

After Nasser Hussain’s bizarre decision to give Australia first use of a flat Gabba track, England were always chasing this game especially with Matthew Hayden scoring a century in each innings. Set an unlikely 463 to win, England were demolished for 79. And Mark Butcher scored 40 of this dismal total!

4. 175 all out, 2^nd innings, vs Pakistan, 1^st Test, Multan, 2005

After dominating this match, with Marcus Trescothick scoring 193 in England’s 1^stinnings and Andrew Flintoff taking match figures of 8 for 156, England were set 198 to win on the last day of the 1^stTest. However, they fell 22 runs short to the express pace of Shoaib Akhtar and the wily spin of Danish Kaneira. The balloon of optimism from the 2005 Ashes success had been burst after only one match.

5. 129 all out, 2^nd innings, vs Australia, 2^nd Test, Adelaide, 2006

On the flattest of flat pitches England had scored 551 for 6 in their 1^stinnings, with Paul Collingwood scoring a double century. Although Australia had responded with 513 all out, surely England couldn’t lose from here?  Even the Australians, Shane Warne apart, expected the game to meander to a draw. However, after a shocking and timid display England were bowled out for 129 in 73 overs. Australia won by six wickets, and England, with Flintoff crying as he bowled, never recovered and lost the series 5-0.

6. 82 all out, 1^st innings & 93 all out, 2^ndinnings, vs New Zealand, 2^nd Test, Christchurch, 1983

Not one but two dismal batting performances in the same match. The nadir of a shambolic tour to the land of the long white cloud in 1983 was the 2^ndTest at Christchurch, where after New Zealand made 307 in their 1^st innings, England were shot for 82 and 93, following on, to lose by an innings. Richard Hadlee had match figures of 8 for 44.

7. 162 all out, 2^ndinnings, vs New Zealand, 4^th Test, The Oval, 1999

In this fourth and deciding Test of the series, England suffered the ignominy of defeat against a New Zealand side that had previously been ranked the worst team in Test cricket. Chasing 245 to win, England slumped from 123 for 2 to 162 all out to replace the Kiwis at the bottom of the rankings. Fortunately, Nasser Hussain recovered from this inauspicious start to his captaincy to help forge a more resilient England side in tandem with Duncan Fletcher.

8. 203 all out, 1^st innings, vs South Africa, 2^ndTest, Headingley, 2008

England were shot out for 203 by a South African side that had just had to save the 1^stTest at Lords. England, who had brought the hitherto unknown Darren Pattinson in for Collingwood, were blown away in 52.3 overs. South Africa responded with 522 and England eventually lost by ten wickets. This defeat and another one in the following Test at Edgbaston led to the resignation of Ashes hero Michael Vaughan as skipper.

9. 222 all out, 2^nd innings, vs Pakistan, 3^rd Test, The Oval, 2010

Having recovered from 94/7 in the first innings thanks to Matt Prior’s 84, England started their second innings 75 behind Pakistan. However, with Alastair Cook hitting a career saving hundred, England were 81 ahead with only two wickets down. Then Cook’s demise led to a sorry procession and the last seven wickets fell for 28 and despite a late flurry of wickets, Pakistan won by 4 wickets.

10. 155 all out, 1^st innings, vs Australia, 1^st Test, Lords, 2005

After bowling the Aussies out for 190, with Harmison taking 5 for 43, England collapsed to 21 for 5 thanks to their nemesis Glenn McGrath. Although the Aussies went on to win this battle by 239 runs, England won the war, the adulation, the Trafalgar Square celebrations and their MBEs.

11. 180 all out, 1^st innings and 169 all out, 2^{nd innings} vs South Africa, 4^th Test, Johannesburg, 2010

Having escaped by the skin of their teeth in the previous test at Cape Town, England went into the final test at The Wanderers needing just a draw to win the series. Unfortunately as at the WACA, the pitch had pace and bounce, and when Andrew Strauss was out to the first ball of the match, England’s defeat seemed inevitable. They weren’t helped by Daryl Harper’s ineptitude in the video umpire’s chair enabling Graeme Smith to be reprieved on the way to a hundred, but it was their inability to face the pace barrage from Dale Steyn and Morne Morkel - who snared 14 wickets between them - that hastened their doom.

12. 102 all out, 1^st innings, vs Australia, 4^thTest, Headingley, 2009

With all the talk before hand being about how a win would enable England to regain the Ashes (remind anyone of anything?), a confident Strauss elected to bat on a bowler friendly Headingley surface. But, fears that in the absence of Kevin Pietersen, the England batting was totally reliant on Strauss came to pass. With Stuart Broad batting too high at seven in the absence of Flintoff, and the selectors continuing to rely on an out of his depth Ravi Bopara, at number three, Australia roared back into the series. Happily for England, they bounced back to win the series and the Ashes in the next test at The Oval – can they repeat the trick in Melbourne?

Where next?

Read all the latest from our Ashes 2010/11 coverage

England's 10 best test wins of the noughties

Check out all our Reverse Sweep heroes and zeroes

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

The next 11 crazy events involving the Pakistan cricket team

 
Can Pakistan cricket get any crazier? Just when you think that it has reached a low, along comes Zulqarnain Haider doing his impersonation of the Scarlet Pimpernel as he vanished into thin air only to materialise sometime later at Heathrow Airport.

We've been mulling over what is likely to happen next with the Pakistan cricket team, and after looking into our crystal ball we can confidently predict the next 11 major events.

1. Zulqarnain becomes a bit of a celebrity in his new home in the UK and replaces the Irish bloke on the X Factor judges panel, has an affair with Cheryl Cole and plays himself in an autobiographical flick entitled 'Escape From Dubai'.
2. Following the call-up of the third Akmal brother Adnan to the Pakistan squad rumours of nepotism and mafia cartels strengthen further when first Father Akmal and then Mother Akmal are also called into the squad.
3. Misbah-ul-Haq resigns the Test captaincy after the calamitous performance of the side in the two tests against South Africa, although Mother Akmal impresses with the gloves.
4. Younis Khan reveals the real reason behind the conspiracy against his captaincy that was perpetuated by Shoaib Malik - he is a cross-dresser that regularly wears stockings, suspenders and a basque under his cricket whites.
5. Shahid Afridi announces that he is returning to test cricket and is promptly named as test captain for the tour of New Zealand. After scoring 21 from 7 balls in Pakistan's failed run chase in the 1st Test, he retires from tests again citing that he doesn't have the mental strength or technique required for the five day game. Mother Akmal is made captain for the rest of the series.
6. In a poll on Cricinfo, Shahid Afridi is named as the sanest person in cricket today. Shoaib Akhtar comes second and Ijaz Butt third.
7. Shoaib Malik announces his divorce from Sania Mirza. He says that the marriage was all a big mistake and he'd got Mirza confused with the opponent she was playing at the time he first saw her. His engagement to Maria Sharapova is confirmed soon after.
8. Imran Farhat's book The Art of Batting is a worldwide best seller and copies are seen in the cricket bags of such luminaries as Sachin Tendulkar, VVS Laxman, Kevin Pietersen and Ricky Ponting. All say that they wish they could bat like Farhat. 
9. Wahab Riaz beats Jonathan Trott at Madison Square Gardens to become WBO Heavyweight Champion of the World.
10. Amidst all the chaos Pakistan win the 2011 World Cup with a team solely comprised of Akmals. Kamran scores a hundred, Umar a fifty and Father Akmal takes five for ten as India are beaten.
11. Zulqarnain survives being stabbed with a poisoned umbrella on his way into the X Factor studios. Suspects include Ashley Cole and Kamran Akmal, as well as a mysterious Asian man with green lipstick.

Where next?

Exclusive: The New Ten Point Pakistan Player Code of Conduct

Historic India-Pakistan peace summit flounders on cricket diplomacy

Heroes: Mushtaq Ahmed

Zeroes: Shoaib Malik

The ten most poignant cricket memories of 2009

As we've written previously, yesterday was a special event in the Reverse Sweep household with the birth of our second child. This means that the posts for the next few days will be looking back rather than commentating on what is happening today and now in the cricket world.

 

This post looks back at 2009 - a year of change for cricket. This was certainly true for England as the year ended with the team in a much better position than they were on New Years Day 2009 with the spat between KP and Peter Moores just about to culminate in both men being sacked.

 

2009 was also a momentous year. England lost to the Netherlands but regained the Ashes. The Aussies fell back into the pack in test cricket but continued to lead the way in the 50 over game. Pakistanwon the World T20 and unveiled yet two more outstanding teenagers. And Bangladesh finally won a series abroad against the West Indies Cricket Board XI.

 

Anyway without further ado here are The Reverse Sweep’s ten most memorable and poignant cricket memories of 2009, appropriately in reverse order.

 

10. Trinidad & Tobago light up the inaugural Champions League

I must admit that I was dubious. For me T20 is more ‘hit and giggle’ than ‘proper cricket’, but I accidentally tuned into the coverage of the inaugural competition on Eurosport and was captivated by the brilliance of T&T. Excellently led by Daren Ganga, the minnows made it all the way to the final against New South Wales; a team full of test players who they had already beaten earlier in the competition thanks to a whirlwind innings from Kieron Pollard. Unfortunately, they lost the final but they were the true winners and their success will hopefully spark the West Indies to a much needed revival.

 

9. Shoaib Akhtar makes us laugh

First there was the press release from the Pakistan Cricket Board explaining that Shoaib was not able to play in the World T20 due to genital warts. And if that wasn’t enough the portly fast bowler was then ruled out for another three months because he had had liposuction. Thanks for the laughs Shoaib.

 

8. Colly, Jimmy and Monty save England in Cardiff

It seemed inevitable that the Aussies were going to go one-up until the dogged Collingwood dropped anchor in a marathon 344 minute innings. And when he was ninth out with over 11 overs to spare, Monty and Anderson took over and became the unlikely heroes. The Durhambattler then repeated the trick at Centurion in tandem with Onions (and Newlands with Ian Bell) and as at Lord’s, England responded by winning the next test at Durban.

 

7. The Netherlands beat England (and not at football)

Now we knew Englandwere bad at limited overs cricket but this really took the biscuit. An absolutely shambolic performance by the home side meant that the World T20 began with a bang. Things actually got worse with the 6-1 ODI reverse to the Aussies. Then an unlikely renaissance with an improved performance in the Champions Trophy followed up by a surprise series win in South Africa. But on that day in June England were well and truly clogged.

 

6. Cool Chris’ 70 ball ton at the WACA

Australia had just declared on 520/7 but that didn’t bother Mr Cool as he smashed a weakened Aussie attack all over the WACA in compiling a devastating 70 ball hundred (the fifth fastest in test history). He hit six huge sixes, four off a shell-shocked Hauritz, including a monstrous shot that landed on the roof of the towering Lillee-Marsh Stand.

 

5. Freddie Lord’s it over the Aussies

Englandhadn’t beaten the Aussies at HQ since 1934 and despite setting them a massive 522 run, an excellent partnership between Clarke and Haddin had the nerves jangling. Step forward Flintoff who blew the Aussies away on a tense Monday morning to take the plaudits ahead of the perhaps more deserving Strauss, who had set up the victory with a first innings 161.

 

4. Sehwag smashes the Sri Lankans for 293

The most devastating batsman in the World reached a new high with this phenomenal innings. Sri Lankahad been bowled out on the second morning for 393 and Sehwag wasted no time as he smashed seven sixes and forty fours in a 254 ball innings. By the end of the second day Indiawere 443/1 off only 79 overs and Murali had been obliterated. Sehwag was out early the next morning so just failed to become the first batsmen to hit three test triple centuries but that should not detract one iota from a truly spectacular knock.

 

3. Trott gets the runs on debut to help England seize the Ashes

Despite calls for former players such as Trescothick and Ramprakash – even W.G Grace was mentioned at one point – the selectors bravely opted for the South African born Trott. And boy did he repay their faith in spades with a brilliant and determined century in the second innings to help set Australiaan unachievable target. Broad, Swann and Harmison did the rest and the Ashes were on their way home.

 

2. Dilshan takes to opening like a duck to water

Before the start of 2009, Dilshan was known more for his brilliant fielding than his inconsistent batting. Then he had a go at opening and by the end of 2009 was rivallingSehwag as the most exciting and destructive batsman in the world. His stats as an opener are truly impressive: in Tests he averaged 66 and scored three hundreds in only five tests, in ODI it was 56 and four hundreds in 19 matches, and in T20 he averaged 43 and invented the Dilscoop. Arguably, Dilshan was the player of the year; how it has changed in 2010.

 

1. Terrorists attack the Sri Lankan bus

The most poignant event of 2009 happened on 3 March when the Sri Lankan team bus was attacked in Lahoreen route to the Gaddafi Stadium for the third days play. Thankfully, although five players were injured, none were killed but eight other people were and Pakistan is now a no-go destination for all international cricket sides.

 

 

Appropriately, the same two sides contested the World T20 final in June and Thilan Samaraweera, who was shot in the leg, recovered to become the leading test runscorer of the year with 1,234 runs at 72. World cricket needs Pakistan, its most flamboyant side along with the West Indies, and it is to be hoped that the situation will improve to enable international cricket to be played in Pakistan again as soon as possible.

Shoaib Akhtar, Elvis & Frank Sinatra

We were excited to hear the news that Shoaib Akhtar is potentially going to be touring England with Pakistan this summer. He last played international cricket in May 2009 and his last Test for Pakistan was way back in December 2007.

Since then he has only been in the news for comical reasons. When explaining his absence from the Pakistan World T20 squad for last year's tournament in England, the PCB advised that Shoaib could not be picked as he was being treated for genital warts. Then towards the end of the year there were reports that he was not considered for the tours to New Zealand and Australia because he had preferred to have liposuction.

But Shoaib is nothing if not resilient. He has bounced back on numerous occasions from a list of misdemeanours that would make Jesse James blush in admiration. These include ball tampering, court battles with the PCB and fisticuffs with his own team-mates.

It's easy to forget that Shoaib is actually a very good bowler. Fearsomely quick at his best, he has managed 178 wickets in 46 matches at a good average of 25.69 and an excellent strike rate of a wicket every 45.7 balls. As England fans, we certainly remember his brilliant bowling in the series immediately following the 2005 Ashes triumph, which saw England slip to a two tests to nil defeat.

Shoaib has already made more comebacks than Elvis or Sinatra, and like both Shoaib is definitely one for a song. Whether at the age of 34 he can rediscover past glories or perhaps even more unlikely stay fit is another thing, but it could be quite some summer if he makes the tour given that the excitable Shahid Afridi has already been named as Pakistan captain for the trip.

 

Afridi's not so subtle bid for the Pakistan captaincy pays off

We expect that we were not the only ones who saw Shahid Afridi's announcement that he was ready to play test cricket again as a not so subtle bid to be appointed as Pakistan's captain in all formats of the game.

And lo and behold, only a few days after Afridi's announcement, he has been duly named as captain for the forthcoming Asia Cup and tour of England, where Pakistan will play tests against Australia as well as England. With the last three captains either 'retired' (Mohammad Yousuf), indefinitely banned (Younis Khan) or suspended (Shoaib Malik), then Afridi seemed to be the most logical choice as captain; if indeed logic and Afridi can be used in the same sentence. Unexpectedly, the announcement of Afridi as captain was coupled with Younis and Malik both being named in the 35 man list of probables, subject to their appeals (which presumably will be upheld now) and also a return to the fold for Shoaib Akhtar. 

Afridi is prone to the odd brainstorm such as pirouetting on pitches or munching on cricket balls, but at least he seems to really care about doing his best for his country, which isn't necessarily the same for some of his erstwhile team mates if certain videos are anything to go by. Yes, Rana Naved, we are talking about you. It is understood that Afridi insisted on the inclusion of Younis, Malik and Akhtar, which suggests previously unseen maturity and that he holds strong sway with the PCB. 

With all the furore currently surrounding Pakistan cricket, maybe the best thing it needs is the excitable Afridi as captain. Don't expect much in the way of tactical astuteness, but there will be plenty of endeavour and no-one will dare take their eyes off the action with Afridi pulling the strings on the field; Afridi doesn't do boring or understatement. Five day cricket represents unfinished business as well for Afridi. He hasn't played a test match since 2006, and now he has an opportunity to prove his abundant talent in the most challenging format of the game.

Whatever happens it is likely to be a memorable summer: Afridi as captain, Younis and Malik sharing a dressing room and even the unexpected icing on the cake of Shoaib Akhtar potentially making another comeback. Akhtar has now made more comebacks than Sinatra and will be hoping to put all the stories of genital warts and liposuction behind him as he eyes up some unsuspecting English and Australian batsmen in his sights.

Afridi is Pakistan's fourth captain since the start of 2009. He will be hoping that his reign is longer, less controversial and more successful than those of his three predecessors - the aforementioned Yousuf, Younis and Malik. Judging from Afridi's comment that "I don't think we should have too many expectations for Test cricket right now but I will try to get our ranking up to where it should be", he doesn't seem to be too confident. The Reverse Sweep wishes him all the luck in the World. He will certainly need it.

Is this the best Pakistan test XI of the last 30 years?

You can say a lot about Pakistan cricket team, but you could never accuse it of being boring. In over 30 years of watching and absorbing cricket in almost every orifice, Pakistan have has always been the most fascinating team to watch - on and off the field. Sadly, Pakistan cricket is in the mire at the moment. Security concerns mean that the team cannot play at home and to say that their antics in recent times are tantamount to a travelling circus would be an understatement.

The problems start at the top and the PCB is rotten to the core with Chairman Ijaz Butt more akin to a dictator of a military state rather than the leader of a humble cricket board. He undermines his selection committee, team management and captain at every turn and how he is still in the job is beyond belief. His reaction in ostracising the team's two best batsmen Mohammad Yousuf and Younis Khan following the Australian tour debacle is the sort of madness normally associated with despots like Kim Jong Il.

Then there are the politicians. Every time Pakistan lose a match accusations of match fixing abound as the next senator gets his 15 minutes in the sun. Heaven forbid that Pakistan lose because they have performed badly or have just come up against a better team. No it must be because some or all of the players have thrown the match. What nonsense.

Other ills include inconsistent selection, poor leadership by a succession of captains and player infighting that makes the spat between Henry II and Thomas a Becket look trivial in comparison. Not being Pakistani myself, I cannot fully understand all the problems surrounding the team, but as a fascinated onlooker I can see that there is an inherent sickness that needs curing.  

It was all very different in the days of Imran Khan's leadership when he used the constant state of chaos surrounding the team to bring them together as a group of 'cornered tigers' with the the rest of the World against them. The results were sensational as they vied with the West Indies for the title of the World's best side in the late 1980s and then won the World Cup in 1992.

During my 30 years of watching cricket, Pakistan have been renowned for its battery of quick bowlers, its wily spinners and a series of wristy batsmen. But how many of the current side would make my composite XI of the last 30 years? Only one sadly and he is supposedly just about to retire.

The openers is a case of Saeed Anwar plus one other. Anwar's combination of graceful strokeplay and quick scoring has been solely missed since his premature retirement with Pakistan still searching for someone of Anwar's reliability and quality to open the batting. Mudassar Nazar takes the second opening slot for me ahead of Aamer Sohail, Majid Khan and Ramiz Raja, with his obdurateness being an excellent foil for the flamboyant Anwar.

Pakistan has been spoilt with quality middle order batsmen over the last 30 years and with Mudassar able to double up as the fifth bowler, I have given myself the luxury of picking six batsmen. Zaheer Abbas was known by some as the Asian Bradman, such was his thirst for runs and his style and elegance gets him in at number three ahead of Younis Khan. The combative Javed Miandad is Pakistan's highest test runscorer and in most observers opinion its greatest batsman so is a shoo-in at number four. Only three runs behind Miandad is Inzamam-ul-Haq and he gets the number five spot. When Inzy was in full flow he never looked like getting out, unless it was by a run out of course! The soon-to-be-retired (if you believe the reports) Mohammad Yousuf gets the number six spot ahead of Saleem Malik. In time people will remember Yousuf for his great batting rather than his impotent captaincy and for a time in the mid-2000's he was arguably the best batsman in the World.

The imperious Imran Khan is at number seven and naturally would be captain. He was the greatest of the four magnificent all-rounders of the 1980s just shading Kapil, Botham and Hadlee and is arguably one of the three best all-rounders ever along with Sobers and Miller. If only Imran was more involved with Pakistan cricket today, perhaps it wouldn't be in such a mess.

The wicketkeeper spot is a toss up between the superior glove work of a Wasim Bari or Rashid Latif, or the additional runs of a Moin Khan or Kamran Akmal. Thankfully, with Imran before him and Wasim Akram to come, the best keeper of the four can be selected and given that he was favourably compared with Allan Knott, Wasim Bari really was a fantastic keeper.

Then comes the aforementioned Wasim Akram, surely the best left arm quick of all time and a decent if slightly underachieving batsman to boot with a test best of 257. With complete mastery over swing and seam, ability to move the ball both ways and serious pace, Wasim was a fearsome sight especially in partnership with the equally devastating Waqar Younis. As an England fan, the performances of Wasim and Waqar on the 1992 tour was both frightening and wonderful depending on how strong my allegiance to the home side was at the time.

It's no surprise then that Waqar Younis comes next. The king of reverse and late swing, Waqar bowled so many batsmen with the late swinging yorker that the name of the delivery arguably should be changed to a 'Younis'. Sheer speed, an effortless technique and a strike rate up there with the best in history, Waqar was a seriously great bowler.

As referred to earlier Pakistan has produced a battery of fast bowlers in the last 30 years. Of these Safraz Nawaz, Shoaib Akhtar and Mohammad Amir deserve a mention. Safraz was entering the sunset of his career when my cricket watching began but was one of the pioneers of reverse swing. Amir would have played more tests than he has but for discipline and drug problems, but it seems he is back to his best now. And what can you say about speedster Shoaib? Suffice to say that he is a larger than life figure, who doubtless a bollywood film will be made about one day. When he concentrates on his bowling though he bears comparison with Wasim, Imran and Waqar and would be my 12th man.

Quality spin has gone hand in hand with extreme pace, and there is an abundance of choice for the spinning position in the XI. But who to pick out of Abdul Qadir, Saqlain Mushtaq, Mushtaq Ahmed, Danish Kaneira or Iqbal Qasim? This is where my childhood comes in and it is the mercurial Qadir who wins the day for me. Without him there may have been no Shane Warne and in a time of pace and seam, it was Qadir who flew the flag for leg spin. If I had to plump for a reserve, it would have to be Mushtaq Ahmed - well, I am a Sussex supporter! 

So my team is as follows in bold with Shoaib and Mushtaq added to make a XIII to cover all conditions. If a fifth bowler was required then it would be Yousuf who would drop out for Shoaib or Mushtaq.

Saeed Anwar, Mudassar Nazar, Zaheer Abbas, Javed Miandad, Inzamam-ul-Haq, Mohammad Yousuf, Imran Khan, Wasim Bari, Wasim Akram, Waqar Younis, Abdul Qadir, Shoaib Akhtar and Mushtaq Ahmed

Shoaib Akhtar makes us laugh again

It seems that Shoaib Akhtar is more interested in making us laugh nowadays than hurling cricket balls at 100 miles per hour.

First there was the revelation from the PCB that Shoaib would miss the World T20 in England last year due to genital warts.

Then came the story that he had undergone a liposuction operation and would miss cricket for three months, ruling him out of the tours to New Zealand and Australia.

Now he has been quoted as saying that he wants to be the Pakistan captain, which is as preposterous as it is hilarious.

Pakistan may be desperate with the cricket ball eating Afridi, the 'I need a break' Younis and the squabbling toddlers Yousuf and Malik to choose from. But surely they are not THAT desperate?

Just keep the laughs coming Shoaib.

Another Shoaib Akhtar comedy moment

It seems that Shoaib Akhtar is more interested in making us laugh nowadays than hurling cricket balls at 100 miles per hour.

First there was the revelation from the PCB that Shoaib would miss the World T20 in England last year due to genital warts.

Then came the story that he had undergone a liposuction operation and would miss cricket for three months, ruling him out of the tours to New Zealand and Australia.

Now he has been quoted as saying that he wants to be the Pakistan captain, which is as preposterous as it is hilarious.

Pakistan may be desperate with the cricket ball eating Afridi, the 'I need a break' Younis and the squabbling toddlers Yousuf and Malik to choose from. But surely they are not THAT desperate?

Just keep the laughs coming Shoaib.