As Steve Harmison and now Andrew Strauss will testify, England have a habit of starting Brisbane Tests of recent vintage very badly. But Strauss's third ball dismissal yesterday and Harmison's wayward opening delivery of the 2006/07 series are small fry compared to the unmitigated disaster that was Martin McCague in the Brisbane Test of the 1994/95 series.
Dubbed “the rat who joined the sinking ship” by the Australian press on account of his upbringing down under, his selection for the tour ahead of Angus Fraser was already controversial as part of Raymond Illingworth's ill-conceived strategy of fighting fire with fire.
As it transpired McCague may well have been a double agent judging by his shocking performance and captain Michael Atherton would have been better off opening the bowling himself when he lost the toss on the flattest of tracks.
McCague wasn't the only culprit but after a new ball spell that lasted just two overs, he returned in the afternoon for a monstrously bad spell of 6-0-55-0 as Michael Slater flayed the England attack all over the Woolloongabba. He ended up with 2/96 off 19.2 overs but as his victims were Craig McDermott and Glenn McGrath, who were both out to attempted slogs it's safe to assume that his grandchildren will not hear about the time he had McGrath caught at mid-off.
McCague could have been excused his opening day nerves if he hadn't then cried off the second innings claiming that an errant oyster had caused an upset stomach. Most people including Darren Gough concluded that he had bottled it. Crap and cowardly - a rat indeed.
Yesterday we listed the first eight (see Part 1 of the 25 Greatest Ashes tests) of what we at The Reverse Sweep consider to be the 25 greatest Ashes tests of them all. Today we unveil the next eight.
3rd Test, Adelaide, 13-19 January 1933 - England won by 338 runs: The Test that nearly broke the Empire. With the series locked at 1-1, England slipped to 30 for four before recovering to 341. Then the real drama unfolded as first Woodfull and then Oldfield were felled by Larwood. Cables were exchanged between the ACB and MCC, mounted police kept a baying crowd from rioting and Jardine maintained his iron rule as England cantered to victory.
5th Test, The Oval, 18-22 August 1934 - Australia won by 562 runs: As had happened four years previously, the two sides went into the timeless decider at The Oval level at 1-1. This time Australia won the toss and a massive 451 second wicket partnership between Ponsford (266) and Bradman (244) put the game out of England's reach. They responded with 321, but Woodfull chose not to enforce the follow on and Bradman hit 77 as Australia made 327. Set 708 to win, England folded meekly only totalling 145 with Grimmett taking five for 64.
3rd Test, Melbourne, 1-7 January 1937 - Australia won by 365 runs: With Australia 2-0 down in Bradman's first series as captain it was do-or-die at Melbourne. But with rain making batting a lottery at times and both sides making bold declarations, Bradman reversed his batting order in the second innings and hit a magnificent 270 from number seven once the wicket had improved. Set 689 to win, England could only muster 323 and the biggest turnaround in any test series had begun.
4th Test, Headingley, 22-27 July 1948 - Australia won by 7 wickets: The Invincibles tag would have never been applied to the all-conquering 1948 Australians without their amazing chase of 404 in the Headingley Test. Bradman (173*) played his last great innings at the scene of previous triumphs - he hit 334 and 304 at the same ground in the 1930 and 1934 series. Morris (182) joined forces with Bradman to add 301 in 217 minutes to render a seemingly impossible chase into a ridiculously easy one.
5th Test, The Oval, 15-19 August 1953 - England won by 8 wickets: After 19 long years, Len Hutton became the first England captain to win the Ashes since Jardine as the home side won a see-saw deciding test. England earned a narrow but crucial 31 run first innings lead thanks to a last wicket partnership of 44 between Bailey and Bedser. Lock and Laker then combined with nine wickets as Australia succumbed to 162 all out. Amidst high tension, Bill Edrich hit 55 not out as England reached their target with eight wickets to spare.
2nd Test, Sydney, 17-22 December 1954 - England won by 38 runs: Having lost the first test by an innings, England looked in real trouble when they were shot out for 154 batting first. The fightback started with Bailey and Tyson sharing eight wickets as Australia's lead was restricted to 74. May then hit a classy hundred as England made 296 second time round, but it was Tyson being knocked unconscious by Lindwall that tipped the scales. The Typhoon was born and took his retribution with six for 85 as Australia were skittled for 184. The tide had turned and England eventually won the series 3-1.
4th Test, Old Trafford, 27 July-1 August 1961 - Australia won by 54 runs: With the series poised at 1-1, an Australian victory would see them retain the Ashes. But when they were bowled out for 190 and England made 367 in reply that didn't look likely. But a century from Lawry and a last wicket partnership of 98 enabled the Aussies to set a target of 256. Dexter wasn't cowed and made a brilliant 76 to guide England to 150 for 2 before Benaud struck, taking 5 for 12 in 25 balls as Australia snatched a 54-run victory.
7th Test, Sydney, 12-17 February 1971 - England won by 62 runs: When rain washed out the 3rd Test at Melbourne, a seventh Test was added at the end of the tour. With England 1-0 up in the series and Australia holding the urn, it was also an Ashes decider. Australia eked out an 80 run lead as controversy struck when Illingworth led England off the field after Snow was first warned for short pitched bowling and was then bombarded with bottles by an irate crowd. The incident seemed to imbue England with renewed steel and a solid second innings performance enabled them to set a challenging target before bowling their hosts out for 160.
Throughout the history of the oldest and longest running international sporting contest, the Ashes have not been without their moments of controversy, most famously of course in the ‘Bodyline’ series of 1932-33 when Douglas Jardine’s leg theory strategy to nullify Bradman and his general animosity to all things Australian nearly led to a diplomatic incident between the two countries.
So to mark us reaching number 33 in our Ashes countdown, here are ten of the best Ashes controversies we’ve managed to dig out from the history books:
1. “Bodyline”
The most rancorous cricket series of them all. It slid from crisis to crisis and having at one time reached governmental level looked set to be called off. An unrepentant Jardine spoke openly of his dislike of all things Australian and there were near-riots at Adelaide. Despite overwhelming pressure the immovable Jardine refused to change his strategy and England won 4-1. The controversy ran on though and prompted rule changes, which effectively outlawed Bodyline tactics. Larwood never played for England again and Jardine’s captaincy ended before the teams next met in England in 1934.
2. Fisticuffs and withdrawals
Today’s PCB may be bad but 100 years ago the Australian Board of Control (BOC) was even worse. A meeting to confirm the touring party to England in 1912 resulted in a fight between Australia’s captain Clem Hill and BOC representative Peter McAllister. As part of the fallout Hill and five other leading players - Warwick Armstrong, Victor Trumper, Tibby Cotter, Hanson Carter and Vernon Ransford - refused to tour and Australia were soundly beaten.
3. Vandals stopped play
The last day of the third Test of the 1975 series at Headingley was evenly poised with Australia 225 for 3 chasing 420 to win the series and so retain the Ashes. However, the pitch was vandalised overnight by protesters campaigning for the release of convicted robber George Davis. Captains Tony Grieg and Ian Chappell both reluctantly agreed the game could not continue, although rain would have meant a draw in any case. Davis was freed the following year but was soon behind bars again after being caught red-handed.
4. Captain Pratt
Ricky Ponting’s frustration at England’s bowlers continually taking breaks from the field of play during the 2005 series boiled over at Nottingham when he was run out by substitute fielder Gary Pratt. As the video shows as he left the field, Ponting visibly swore and gesticulated at the England dressing room. England won a tight match by three wickets after collapsing when chasing a small target.
5. The Packer Affair
The 1977 series in England was completely overshadowed by the furore surrounding World Series Cricket, news of which broke as the Australian side arrived. Mike Brearley, who replaced the sacked WSC player recruiter and ringleader Tony Grieg, led England to a 3-0 win against a divided Australian side full of soon-to-be Packer players. International cricket would never be the same again.
6. The Aluminium Bat
Although not strictly an Ashes controversy due to the Ashes not being at stake in the three match 1979-80 series, the episode of Dennis Lillee’s aluminium bat is still worthy of inclusion. England captain Brearley, sporting a beard that made him look an Ayatollah, strongly objected and two proud men went toe to toe. The umpires sided with Brearley and in frustration, Lillee flung the bat across the WACA pitch. Priceless.
7. Bottles and walk-offs
After a long and drawn out series, the 1970-71 encounter went down to a decider at Melbourne. In a tight match, England’s John Snow was warned for short-pitched bowling after striking Terry Jenner on the head. The crowd didn’t like it either and Snow was grabbed by a spectator and bottles and cans were thrown at him. England captain Ray Illingworth responded by leading his side from the field. They returned after warnings from officials, and with their resolve emboldened won by 62 runs to regain the Ashes.
8. Chuckers and draggers
England were thrashed 4-0 in 1958-59, but much of their ire was reserved for what they considered the illegality of some of the bowlers they faced – throwing in the case of Ian Meckiff and dragging by the ‘Blond Giant’ Gordon Rorke. Later events would suggest that England were right where Meckiff was concerned when he was called for throwing four times in his only over in the first test of the 1963/64 home series with South Africa.
9. Gower goes to the theatre
The 1989 series was a disaster for England and captain David Gower regularly felt the heat of some pretty hostile press conferences. After a dismal third day at Lord’s in the second test, Gower answered a few questions before deciding it was all too much and stood up to announce that he had tickets for the theatre to see Anything Goes, that the taxi was waiting, and then proceeded to walk out stage left leaving a bemused press lost for words. Even though Gower returned after the rest day and scored a hundred, his reign was doomed. As were England.
10. 500-1
Our last controversy would have caused headlines across the World today, but in a more innocent 1981 rarely raised a whimper. With England crashing to seeming defeat at Headingley in 1981,Dennis Lillee and Rod Marsh couldn’t resist the odds of 500/1 for the England win. Then came the heroics of Botham and Willis, which led England to the most unlikeliest of victories. Rightfully, no-one questioned the efforts of Lillee and Marsh though who both battled to the end in an attempt to lose their stake.
If Andrew Strauss is going to lead England to retaining the Ashes this winter then he is going to have to defeat history as well as Ricky Ponting's Australian side. Of course having regained the Ashes at The Oval last summer, England only have to draw the series to keep the little urn. But this is something they have never done when defending the Ashes in Australia.
Indeed since 1900 (England pretty much dominated the Ashes until then), England have only managed to retain the Ashes four times down under.
Retaining the Ashes
In 1928-29, a star-studded England side ably led by Percy Chapman and containing the likes of Hobbs, Sutcliffe, Hammond, Hendren, Larwood, Tate and Jardine overwhelmed an Australian side going through a period of transition (a certain Donald Bradman made his test match bow in this series) by four matches to one.
Then in 1954-55, Len Hutton's England side recovered from a heavy defeat in the first test at Brisbane to win the series 3-1, with Frank 'Typhoon' Tyson propelling them to victory with some fearsome fast bowling. Fast forward over 20 years to 1978-79, where an Australian side decimated by defections to World Series Cricket were hammered 5-1 by Mike Brearley's England.
Finally, in 1986-87, Mike Gatting captained an England side that was tagged as the team that 'can't bat, can't bowl and can't field' before the series to a 2-1 series victory with Chris Broad hitting three hundreds and with Botham and Gower also to the fore.
Since then of course, Australia have dominated, winning the subsequent series' by margins of 3-0, 3-1, 3-1, 4-1 and infamously 5-0 four years ago.
Regaining the Ashes
It's not as if England have been any better at regaining the Ashes on Australian soil. Again, they have only done this four times since 1900. In 1903-04, Pelham Warner's side won an exciting contest by three matches to two. Johnny Douglas repeated the trick eight years later when his England team triumphed 4-1.
After losing to a Bradman inspired Australian side at home in 1930, Douglas Jardine masterminded an immediate return of the little urn into English hands in the 1932/33 series - arguably the most infamous test series of them all. History should remember however that the runs of Hammond, Sutcliffe and Paynter amongst others were just as decisive as the venomous fast bowling of Larwood, Voce and Allen.
The last time that England regained the Ashes down under was in the elongated seven match series of 1970/71 when Raymond Illingworth's side triumphed by two tests to nil in another series marred with bad feeling and controversy.
Can England do it again in 2010/11?
History may be against them but this settled and talented side has the best chance of any England team of the last twenty years of returning to Heathrow Airport with the Ashes in their possession. And one possible omen in Strauss' favour is that Brearley and Gatting, the last two England captains to return triumphant also played county cricket for Middlesex - albeit more often.
Here is our list of England's ten greatest captains. Andrew Strauss doesn’t make it just yet. If of course he leads England to retaining the Ashes in Australia next winter he will certainly join this list; and probably near the top too.
1. Douglas Jardine – P15 W9 D5 L1: ruthless, stubborn and a brilliant strategist. Thanks to “Bodyline” his name will live in infamy. We should also mention here that Jardine is our favourite cricketer ever so it was perhaps inevitable that he tops our list - also see Heroes: Douglas Jardine. 2. Raymond Illingworth – P31 W12, D14, L5: tough, also ruthless and uncompromising, and also like Jardine won the Ashes in Australia.
3. Mike Brearley – P31 W18 D9 L4: mediocre batsman but outstanding skipper who inspired Botham to his unforgettable heroic feats in the 1981 Ashes.
4. Michael Vaughan – P51 W26 D14 L11: took the foundations laid by Hussain and together with Fletcher created the all-conquering side of 2004/05.
5. Percy Chapman – P17 W9 D6 L2: like Jardine four years later he won the Ashes 4-1 in Australia; but unlike DRJ he earned the respect of the locals with his natural bonhomie.
6. Sir Len Hutton – P23 W11 D8 L4: England’s first professional captain for 65 years who regained the Ashes (after 20 years) in 1953 and then retained them in 1954/55.
7. Peter May – P41 W20 D11 L10: Other than Vaughan, he won the most Tests as skipper and led England to number one in the World
8. Nasser Hussain – P45 W17 D13 L15: took England from the bottom of the pile (behind even Zimbabwe) to series wins in Pakistan and Sri Lanka, providing the building blocks for Vaughan to take England into the stratosphere.
9. W.G. Grace – P13 W8 D2 L3: the giant (literally) of the Victorian age captained his country for the last time at the age of 51.
10. Hon. Ivo Bligh - P4 W2 D0 L2: presented with the original Ashes urn after winning the series 2-1 Down Under in 1882/83. For that alone he deserves to make the list.
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