The Reverse Sweep

Heroes: Justin Langer

 
Yeah, yeah, we know. It is strange for an Englishman to regard such a dyed-in-the-wool Australian like Justin Langer as a cricket hero, but please bear with us.

Like with Paul Collingwood, we admire that Langer wrung out every ounce of his talent in order to be a very successful test match cricketer. It's difficult not to admire someone who works that hard and allies supreme determination and good hard yakka to produce results that are greater than the sum of its parts. What Mark Ramprakash and Graeme Hick amongst others would have given to have had the mental strength and work ethic of a Langer.

But whilst we admire Langer's achievements as a batsman - his 5654 runs in partnership with Matthew Hayden (definitely not a Reverse Sweep hero as we posted at the weekend - see Zeroes: Matthew Hayden), his average of 45 in 105 tests and the fact he is the record Australian first class run scorer - it is not this that qualifies him for hero status.

No, in a time when most books or diaries by active cricketers say absolutely nothing, Langer's regular submissions to the BBC's websitewere honest and provided a fascinating insight into what it was to be part of one of the most successful teams in cricket history. Especially during the 2005 Ashes, Langer's diary entries described how the series unfurled and how a supremely confident Australian side were rattled and ultimately beaten by a resurgent England side. Elsewhere he tackled some of the major issues facing cricket head-on and explained exactly what he thought. As the written words were exactly how Langer spoke, we would also guess that he actually wrote the column, which is rare. 

We didn't have a problem with the infamous dossier that emerged during the 2009 Ashes series. For a start, Langer's observations seemed pretty accurate and did anyone really expect that a patriotic Australian like Langer was not going to pass on any advice that might be helpful to his former team-mates? 

In any case, Langer was a loyal servent to county cricket first to Middlesex and then as an astute leader on and off the field at Somerset. When he took the reins, Somerset were a struggling Division 2 side. When he left they were firmly established as one of the top sides in the country and even experienced a Champions League jolly in India. Their near-success this season is down to the legacy that Langer left and when James Hildreth and Jos Buttler eventually play for England, the influence of Langer will very much be there. 

Langer had his flaws and some of his words about the camaraderie in the Australian team and his worship of Steve Waugh were whimsical to say the least. But for honesty, not being afraid to have something to say, hard work and for being an antidote to Matthew Hayden, Langer is a Reverse Sweep hero. 

Where next?

Check out all our other Reverse Sweep heroes and zeroes

Inspiration for England to win the Ashes 5-0

Geoffrey Boycott's glorious comeback

Zeroes: Matthew Hayden

 
As if anyone needed any further reason to dislike former Australian opener and bully boy Matthew Hayden, this weeks sees the publication of his autobiography 'Standing My Ground.'

We've never cared for Hayden here at the Reverse Sweep as like all the worst bullies, Hayden always seemed prepared to dish out the verbals but struggled to take it when he was the target such as the Simon Jones incident in 2005. Never have two things gone together better than Hayden and the Mongoose, which he wielded to some effect in this year's IPL.

The same 'give it but can't take it approach' could be argued for Hayden's batting, which although dominant when things were in his favour tended to be less impressive when the pressure was on such as in the 2005 Ashes. That said, 30 hundreds in 103 tests at an average over 50 is pretty impressive.

So why where do we start as to why Hayden is a zero? Well, he has a tendency to spout crap both on and off the field such as when he called India a third world country, Harbhajan Singh an "obnoxious little weed" - ok, maybe that was fair enough - and then inviting the then 19 year old Ishant Sharma to a boxing bout and imitating his Indian accent. Gee, you're brave Hayden.

Then there is the fact that he thinks he is Australia's answer to Gordon Ramsay with his cookery books - two books that will not now and will not ever be on the Reverse Sweep bookshelf.  We don't have a problem with Hayden being religious, but we do find his motto of "When I’m in trouble, I ask: ‘What would Christ do?'" annoying and ever so hypocritical. Jesus healed the sick and fed the five thousand whilst Hayden poisoned them with his recipes. No comparison there.

We're not sure either that Jesus would have stooped to the level of Hayden's on-field sledges and he certainly turned the other cheek when he faced abuse. Hayden on the other hand reported an elderly woman for delivering "one of the fiercest tirades I've ever copped" as he walked back to the SCG dressing room once. After he'd cooled down he spoke to her, got her membership number, told her the behaviour was unacceptable and then reported her. "It's so disappointing at a ground I love and respect," he said without irony. What a complete arse.

And we haven't even got onto the on-pitch meditations yet. But before this becomes a tirade of abuse, we'll leave it here and say simply that Matthew Hayden is a Reverse Sweep zero extraordinaire. If you don't believe us, check out our fellow bloggers King Cricket and Cricket With Balls for their views on the bully boy.

Where next?

Check out all our other Reverse Sweep heroes and zeroes

All-time Australian Ashes XI - The Openers

Bully Boy downs Delhi Daredevils with his Mongoose

Top 20 Cricket Blogs: 1 - King Cricket / @TheKingsTweets

 
It was a marginal decision, but after referral to the DRS we can confirm that Alex Bowden’s superlative King Cricket takes our vote as the Reverse Sweep’s favourite cricket blog.

Like the great master Jack Hobbs himself, King Cricket scores freely and heavily in all types of conditions: whimsical humour, longevity (a blog veteran stretching all the way back to 2006), a keen eye, quantity and quality, originality and above all brevity.

Most of us fall into the ‘time poor’ category and King Cricket certainly doesn’t mince his words. Why write a great thesis when 200 words will do? More than any other cricket blog we’ve seen King Cricket understands this best. KC simply doesn’t do written diarrhoea (whatever that looks like).

This is probably the secret of its success as is the amusing and intrinsically self-deprecating English humour shining through such features as Animals being conspicuously indifferent to cricket, the frankly bizarre Venn Diagrams and Match Reports (that aren’t really Match Reports).

If being a fan of the site means clicking on to it most week day mornings, then we are guilty as charged m’lud. Of all the blogs featured in our Top 20 Cricket blogs it is only King Cricket and cricket with balls that we click onto on an almost religious basis.

As we said at the start, the choice between these two was borderline, but in the end we decided to go with the former not because Alex is a fellow Englishman (although that probably helped), but when it comes down to it, he really detests Matthew Hayden.

And he’s hated Hayden almost since the day he started the blog – see old Hayden and new Hayden articles.

That pretty much sealed it.

You can find Alex on Twitter @TheKingsTweets, although when it comes to Tweeting, Alex doesn’t exactly fall into the prolific category.

Where next?

Cricket Zeroes: Matthew Hayden

See our other Top 20 Cricket Blogs here

Read all our County Cricket coverage

Check out all our Reverse Sweep cricket heroes and zeroes

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

PS: Whilst the Reverse Sweep is busy packing up and moving back to Surrey from the South of France, we'll be counting down our Top 20 cricket blogs whilst we are away (so to speak)...

Once upon a time in the court of King Ricky...

 
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, Prince Ricky ascended to the throne upon the death of King Stephen. The King is dead, long live the King.

It was akin to Camelot, King Ricky had at his disposal a quorom of fearsome Knights, the like of whom had not been seen since the time of the Round Table. Chief amongst them was Sir Shane – a Knight that was able to conjure up victory from the jaws of defeat such as in the famous skirmish with the English at the Battle of Adelaide in 2006.

Many foes tried to storm the citadel, but all were easily beaten. King Ricky’s Green and Gold expedition force was also all-conquering overseas apart from a surprise defeat to the English in 2005 where Sir Glenn was felled by an arrow in the ankle, Sir Adam was rendered ineffective and the English found a new hero in Freddie of Preston.

But after being newly installed as Prince Regent of England due to the madness of King Vaughan, Freddie’s attempt to storm King Ricky’s castle a year later was met with ignominious defeat and ultimately the pedalo scandal.

King Ricky was now at the peak of his powers as the most dominant ruler in the world – no arrow could pierce his armour and no sword could breach his shield.

Then at the point of his greatest triumph, Sir Shane succumbed to his gambling habit, absconded from the castle and was last seen consorting with a failed actress. Sir Justin and Sir Glenn departed at the same time and shortly afterwards, Sir Matthew left to become a full-time cook and Sir Adam hung up his helmet to become a well-paid mercenary.

With his best Knights deserting him at the same time, a bereft King Ricky was suddenly vulnerable. Overseas raiding parties now met with regular defeat on the battlefield and the nototiously brittle Proteas army even managed to breach the walls of King Ricky’s castle, before his forces launched a successful counterattack.

But with the newly powerful English landing on his shore in the autumn of 2010 under the astute leadership of Lord Strauss of Radley and his Chief Adviser – a mysterious wizard only known as Flower, King Ricky knew the game was up. His new Knights were not up to the task. Sir Doug wears a toupee for Christ's sake, Sir Twatto has no staying power and is prone to tears, Sir Mitch is just as likely to slice himself open with his own sword then kill any of the enemy, and as for his heir Prince Michael the less said the better.

King Ricky took a gamble. Sir Nathan had proved a steady if uninspiring successor to Sir Shane. But King Ricky didn’t need steady, he needed the X-Factor. So, he knighted his unimpressive steward as Sir Xavier, and Sir Nathan was sent to the haberdashery to sell his old armour.

But, Sir Xavier had no pedigree and failed to impress in the battles at Brisbane and Adelaide. In the aftermath of the latter tussle, his fool Hilditch suggested that King Ricky have a Beer instead and lo and behold that is exactly what happened.

Things got better temporarily at the Battle of Perth, where Sir Mitch and Sir Cricket excelled but the English decimated his army at the Battle of Melbourne and King Ricky himself was wounded as his castle was ransacked by the rampant English sprinkled with some Proteas insurgents.

Too little, too late it was decided to exile the disgraced Sir Xavier and Sir Nathan was handed a new suit of armour for the forthcoming battle for the Holy Grail. King Ricky and his predecessor have successfully held onto the precious Grail for 12 years, but either King Strauss, King Muppet or King Mahendra all look set to wrest it from his grip over the coming weeks.

All seems lost for King Ricky. He has even taken to humming a tune from the famous English songsmith Sir Christopher of Martin:

“I used to rule the world / Seas would rise when I gave the word / Now in the morning I sleep alone / Sweep the streets I used to own ...”    

The inevitability of final defeat awaits and King Ricky knows that his folly of placing his kingdom in the hands of the untried Sir Xavier has proved to be a mistake of the most deadly proportions.

Prince Michael, it would seem, is already practicing his apologies and planning a new tattoo for his coronation - not that he is going to be King of much.

Where next?

Is this Ponting's cataclysmic epitaph?

Michael Clarke joins Linkin Park

Ashes 2010/11: Australia series marks out of 10

Ashes 2010/11: England series marks out of 10

Shane Watson: Finally the bride 

Check out all our Reverse Sweep heroes and zeroes including amongst others Nathan Hauritz, Justin Langer, Matt Hayden, Brett Lee, Sachin Tendulkar, Andy Flower, Andrew Hilditch and Hedley Verity

Follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

4th Test: Melbourne - Preview: Can England reprise glory of 1986?

 
The last time England retained the Ashes down under was in the Boxing Day Test at Melbourne in 1986 when they crushed Australia by an innings and 14 runs to take an unassailable 2-0 lead in the series. With the debacle at Perth now behind them, Andrew Strauss' side has a second opportunity to retain the urn at the same Melbourne Cricket Ground over the coming days.

In the lead-up to the 4th test there has been much speculation about the late switch to a much greener looking pitch, which has given hope to Australians that Mitchell Johnson and Ryan Harris will find a similarly helpful, fast and bouncy wicket to the one that suited them so much at Perth. This is probably wishful thinking on behalf of the home side and the usual slow Melbourne pitch is a much more likely proposition.

This means that Australia will have to think hard about the make-up of their side. Do they risk going in again with four specialist quicks and the part-time spin of Steve Smith? Or do they hand Michael Beer a test debut in place of either Peter Siddle or Ben Hilfenhaus? Dropping the former would mean that Australia would lose its chief snarler in what appeared to be a new 'in your face' approach in Perth.

England also have decisions to make as to the make-up of the bowling attack, although Andy Flower confirmed earlier this week that they will stick to their four-man bowler approach in the absence of a world-class all-rounder. This is no surprise especially as Matt Prior isn't in the form to justify an elevation to number six.

Likely line-ups

England are likely to be unchanged although Tim Bresnan or Ajmal Shahzad may come in for Steve Finn if the latter is deemed to need a rest by the England management. other than that the only change could be Ian Bell being promoted to five ahead of Paul Collingwood.

For Australia, Ricky Ponting is almost certain to play despite a broken little finger and surely they won't repeat their error of The Oval 2009 by going in without a specialist spinner? If Beer does get the nod, expect Siddle to be the one carrying the drinks. Australia also has the option of bolstering the batting by playing Ponting's stand-by Usman Khawaja instead of Smith at number six.

Look out for…

We tipped Kevin Pietersen to end his long quest for a century in our preview of the Adelaide Test and despite crashing back down to earth in Perth, we fully expect him to reach three figures here again in Melbourne.

Ricky Ponting is too great a batsman not to stamp his influence on this series and despite his broken digit and poor run of scores, we would be very surprised if he doesn't make a significant score on the biggest of stages.

Finally, Graeme Swann had a quiet game in Perth after his seven wickets in Adelaide, but the surface at the MCG is likely to suit him better and we wouldn't be surprised to see him star in the 2nd innings. Australia may come to regret not picking their best spinner - the in-form Nathan Hauritz instead of the untried Beer.

Previously at Melbourne

Scene of the first ever Test match in 1877, there have been 53 encounters between England and Australia at the cavernous Melbourne Cricket Ground. Australia has the advantage with 27 wins to England’s 19 and perhaps a clue to the outcome of the 2010 edition is that there have only been 7 draws.

2006 – Australia won by an innings and 99 – England suffered a Boxing Day hangover as they were bundled out for just 159 with Warne taking his 700^th Test wicket. England struck back by reducing Australia to 84/5 before Hayden and Symonds both reached 150. England then capitulated for a second time for 161 for yet another woeful defeat on the most dispiriting of tours.

2002 – Australia won by five wickets – Justin Langer hit 250 as Australia amassed a powerful 551/6 and then England only managed 20 more runs than Langer made on his own. They did better after following on with Michael Vaughan scoring a sparkling 145 as England at least set Australia a target. They then restored further pride by taking five wickets as Australia stumbled over the winning line.

1998 – England won by 12 runs – A pulsating test match with a dramatic climax. Rain ruined day one but Alec Stewart scored a captain’s hundred as England made 270. Steve Waugh (122) then masterminded runs from the tail as Australia led by 70. And when England could only make 244 in their second innings and Australia reached 130/3 in pursuit of 162 all seemed lost. Step forward Dean Headley – who engineered a spectacular collapse and a famous England win.

1986 – England won by an innings and 14 – Mike Gatting’s side secured the retention of the urn with a crushing victory in the Boxing Day Test. Gladstone Small and Ian Botham took five apiece as Australia could only muster 141. Then Chris Broad’s third successive hundred provided the bedrock of England’s 208 1^st innings lead. Phil Edmonds and John Emburey then spun England to victory.

1982 – England won by 3 runs – The forerunner to Edgbaston 2005. An extremely tight match saw all four innings total between 284 and 294. When Australia were 218 for nine chasing 292 all looked lost for the home side. But Border and Thomson took them to within sight of the finishing line before that man Botham struck inducing an edge from Thomson that Tavare parried into the hands of a grateful Miller.

Prediction

If the weather holds true then the MCG is a result wicket and we fully expect England to win a tight encounter and therefore retain the Ashes with the final test in Sydney still to come.

Where next?

Dear Santa...

Read KP's Ashes Diary exclusively at the Reverse Sweep

Dean Headley's 15 minutes of fame

Read all the latest from our Ashes 2010/11 coverage

The 25 Greatest Ashes Tests of them all: Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

Dear Santa...

 
With Christmas only two days away, we’d been wondering what some of cricket’s big names have asked Santa for.

Thanks to a renegade Elf in Santa's inner sanctum, all can now be revealed:

Shane Watson – the man who Carly Simon once wrote a song about has asked for his bedroom to be covered wall to wall and floor to ceiling with mirrors. He has also asked for a year’s supply of Kleenex. No, not for that! But in anticipation of more tears when he next gets out in the nervous nineties

Michael Clarke– a lifelike Lara Bingle rubber doll and a backbone

Jonathan Trott and Doug Bollinger – appointments with Jacques Kallis’ new hair consultant

Ricky Ponting – the hottest curry sauce of all – anything that means he can get amongst the runs again, but on no account does he want any Beer to go with it

Andrew Strauss- an exclusive membership of the club of Middlesex captains that have won an Ashes series down under. To date, Mike Gatting, Mike Brearley and Pelham Warner are the only members

Steve Smith– Being young he wants to learn, so he has asked Santa for  ‘The Marcus North Tutorial of Batting at Six’ and ‘The Idiots Guide to Leg-Spin by Chris Schofield'

Steve Finn– he had wanted clothes, but after being so expensive at the WACA he managed to bag a sponsorship deal with Prada, so the tall paceman now wants the same radar that Mitchell Johnson used in Perth

Matt Prior & Peter Siddle and Ian Botham & Ian Chappell – a pair of boxing gloves each so that they can take their respective war of words into the ring

Michael Hussey– some more kryptonite to ensure that he can reprise his Superman heroics at Melbourne and Sydney

Kamran Akmal  - A new set of wicketkeeper gloves made entirely out of velcro

Salman Butt, Mohammad Aamer and Mohammad Asif  - A damn good lawyer

Nathan Hauritz – Having got rid of his Australian kit at a recent garage sale, the discarded spinner now wants a fresh new kit from Santa in time to make a comeback in Sydney

MS Dhoni– some cotton wool in which to wrap up Zaheer Khan prior to every test match and particularly for the upcoming tours of England and Australia

Tim Bresnan and Jesse Ryder - a KFC Bargain Bucket per day for life

Ijaz Butt  - World War III

Harbhajan Singh– a set of Matthew Hayden’s cook books so that he can prepare a meal for his good friends Hayden and Andrew Symonds when he tours Australia later this year

Daniel Vettori - the Prime Ministership of New Zealand - well he does everything else. Either that or to wake up on Christmas Day as an Australian - there seems to be a vacancy for a spinner

Ian Bell – a DVD of the Famous Five, so he can prepare for his promotion up the batting order

Paul Collingwood – a guide to the best retirement homes in the North East of England

Mitchell Johnson – Kevin Pietersen’s phone number

Kevin Pietersen - A romantic dinner for two with Mitch

Where next?

Check out all our Reverse Sweep heroes and zeroes featuring Shane Watson, Mitchell Johnson and Nathan Hauritz amongst others

Historic India-Pakistan peace summit flounders on cricket diplomacy

Read KP's Ashes Diary exclusively at the Reverse Sweep

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

England's Dirty Dozen

 
After all the talk of securing the Ashes before Christmas and going through the tour unbeaten, England certainly came crashing back down to earth in Perth. Indeed, the collapse from 78/0 to 187 all out in the first innings was so disappointing that Icarus himself could have been the pilot of England’s doom. And it got worse in the second innings too with the capitulation for 123 reminding us that being an England cricket fan can be tough.

In fact, with alarming regularity, England’s batting has a tendency to brittleness and being prone to collapse like a house of cards in a force nine gale. On far too many occasions in our 30 years of following England expectation and anticipation can quickly turn into crushing disappointment, misery and despair.

Here is a dirty dozen of England’s worst batting performances over this time. Unfortunately, it is not an exhaustive list but merely one compiled of those disasters that come most easily to mind.

1. 51 all out, 2^nd innings, vs West Indies, 1^st Test, Kingston, 2009

In an inauspicious start for Andy Flower in his  first match in charge, England started their 2^ndinnings 74 runs behind. Just 33.2 overs later England were all out for 51. Coincidentally, this was almost a role reversal of what had happened at the same ground five years before when Steve Harmison, with 7 for 12 had bowled the West Indies out for 47.

2. 46 all out, 2^nd innings, vs West Indies, 3^rd Test, Port of Spain, 1994

Having played well throughout the match, England had been set 194 to win and were confident even though they needed to get the better of Curtly Ambrose and Courtney Walsh to reach their target. Nineteen overs of hostile fast bowling later, England were dismissed for a paltry 46, Ambrose with 6 for 24 and Walsh 3 for 16.

3. 79 all out, 2^nd innings, vs Australia, 1^st Test, Brisbane, 2003

After Nasser Hussain’s bizarre decision to give Australia first use of a flat Gabba track, England were always chasing this game especially with Matthew Hayden scoring a century in each innings. Set an unlikely 463 to win, England were demolished for 79. And Mark Butcher scored 40 of this dismal total!

4. 175 all out, 2^nd innings, vs Pakistan, 1^st Test, Multan, 2005

After dominating this match, with Marcus Trescothick scoring 193 in England’s 1^stinnings and Andrew Flintoff taking match figures of 8 for 156, England were set 198 to win on the last day of the 1^stTest. However, they fell 22 runs short to the express pace of Shoaib Akhtar and the wily spin of Danish Kaneira. The balloon of optimism from the 2005 Ashes success had been burst after only one match.

5. 129 all out, 2^nd innings, vs Australia, 2^nd Test, Adelaide, 2006

On the flattest of flat pitches England had scored 551 for 6 in their 1^stinnings, with Paul Collingwood scoring a double century. Although Australia had responded with 513 all out, surely England couldn’t lose from here?  Even the Australians, Shane Warne apart, expected the game to meander to a draw. However, after a shocking and timid display England were bowled out for 129 in 73 overs. Australia won by six wickets, and England, with Flintoff crying as he bowled, never recovered and lost the series 5-0.

6. 82 all out, 1^st innings & 93 all out, 2^ndinnings, vs New Zealand, 2^nd Test, Christchurch, 1983

Not one but two dismal batting performances in the same match. The nadir of a shambolic tour to the land of the long white cloud in 1983 was the 2^ndTest at Christchurch, where after New Zealand made 307 in their 1^st innings, England were shot for 82 and 93, following on, to lose by an innings. Richard Hadlee had match figures of 8 for 44.

7. 162 all out, 2^ndinnings, vs New Zealand, 4^th Test, The Oval, 1999

In this fourth and deciding Test of the series, England suffered the ignominy of defeat against a New Zealand side that had previously been ranked the worst team in Test cricket. Chasing 245 to win, England slumped from 123 for 2 to 162 all out to replace the Kiwis at the bottom of the rankings. Fortunately, Nasser Hussain recovered from this inauspicious start to his captaincy to help forge a more resilient England side in tandem with Duncan Fletcher.

8. 203 all out, 1^st innings, vs South Africa, 2^ndTest, Headingley, 2008

England were shot out for 203 by a South African side that had just had to save the 1^stTest at Lords. England, who had brought the hitherto unknown Darren Pattinson in for Collingwood, were blown away in 52.3 overs. South Africa responded with 522 and England eventually lost by ten wickets. This defeat and another one in the following Test at Edgbaston led to the resignation of Ashes hero Michael Vaughan as skipper.

9. 222 all out, 2^nd innings, vs Pakistan, 3^rd Test, The Oval, 2010

Having recovered from 94/7 in the first innings thanks to Matt Prior’s 84, England started their second innings 75 behind Pakistan. However, with Alastair Cook hitting a career saving hundred, England were 81 ahead with only two wickets down. Then Cook’s demise led to a sorry procession and the last seven wickets fell for 28 and despite a late flurry of wickets, Pakistan won by 4 wickets.

10. 155 all out, 1^st innings, vs Australia, 1^st Test, Lords, 2005

After bowling the Aussies out for 190, with Harmison taking 5 for 43, England collapsed to 21 for 5 thanks to their nemesis Glenn McGrath. Although the Aussies went on to win this battle by 239 runs, England won the war, the adulation, the Trafalgar Square celebrations and their MBEs.

11. 180 all out, 1^st innings and 169 all out, 2^{nd innings} vs South Africa, 4^th Test, Johannesburg, 2010

Having escaped by the skin of their teeth in the previous test at Cape Town, England went into the final test at The Wanderers needing just a draw to win the series. Unfortunately as at the WACA, the pitch had pace and bounce, and when Andrew Strauss was out to the first ball of the match, England’s defeat seemed inevitable. They weren’t helped by Daryl Harper’s ineptitude in the video umpire’s chair enabling Graeme Smith to be reprieved on the way to a hundred, but it was their inability to face the pace barrage from Dale Steyn and Morne Morkel - who snared 14 wickets between them - that hastened their doom.

12. 102 all out, 1^st innings, vs Australia, 4^thTest, Headingley, 2009

With all the talk before hand being about how a win would enable England to regain the Ashes (remind anyone of anything?), a confident Strauss elected to bat on a bowler friendly Headingley surface. But, fears that in the absence of Kevin Pietersen, the England batting was totally reliant on Strauss came to pass. With Stuart Broad batting too high at seven in the absence of Flintoff, and the selectors continuing to rely on an out of his depth Ravi Bopara, at number three, Australia roared back into the series. Happily for England, they bounced back to win the series and the Ashes in the next test at The Oval – can they repeat the trick in Melbourne?

Where next?

Read all the latest from our Ashes 2010/11 coverage

England's 10 best test wins of the noughties

Check out all our Reverse Sweep heroes and zeroes

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

Ashes 100-1: 61 - All-time Australian Ashes XI: The Openers

 
As we near the halfway point of our Ashes 100-1 countdown it seems an opportune time to start selecting our all-time Australian and English Ashes XIs. We start today by naming our Australian openers, with their English counterparts following tomorrow and the rest of the XIs being posted throughout the run-up to the action finally starting at Brisbane on 25th November.

Before we start, a few disclaimers. Firstly, this is a personal selection. Secondly, it is based on performances in the Ashes only and not those against the other test-playing nations. Also as our first-hand experience of watching cricket only stretches back 30 years we've also had to rely on footage, reports and statistics of the players that have graced the Ashes throughout its 100 years plus history.

So, on to our choice of the two players that will open the batting for Australia. We narrowed down the long-list as two from Victor Trumper, Mark Taylor, Matthew Hayden, Arthur Morris, Justin Langer, Bill Lawry, Bill Ponsford, Bill Woodfull and Bobby Simpson.

In our view Trumper has to be one of the two names. Forget the low average (32.79 from 40 Ashes tests) as pitches were sub-standard in Trumper's era and he invariably had to bat on uncovered sticky dogs on which he was a reputed master. Trumper is also widely acknowledged by most cricket historians including Gideon Haigh (see article by Haigh on Trumper here) as the greatest Australian batsman after Bradman. And if heis good enough for Haigh, then he is certainly good enough for us.

So who to pair with Trumper. We've discounted Ponsford and Woodfull as despite them being run machines during the period between the two world wars, they both struggled against Bodyline particularly the former. As this was one of the rare occasions that bowlers held the upper hand in that era then that perhaps puts some of their feats into context.

We've also discounted Lawry, Langer and Simpson as we don't believe they are quite in the class of Hayden, Taylor and Morris, who therefore comprise the final shortlist to pair with Trumper. Hayden was a devastating opener and he frequently destroyed English attacks during Ashes encounters in Australia where he plundered four hundreds from ten tests at an average of 57 - Nasser Hussain is probably still shaking from the brutal 197 Hayden scored after he erroneously put Australia into bat at Brisbane in 2002. But the Bully Boy was less effective in England where he struggled on both the 2001 and 2005 tours averaging only 34.50 in ten matches and scoring only the one hundred. This we have deemed not good enough for our all-time Aussie XI.

Taylor played against England in a period where there was a more equal battle between bat and ball, but still managed to plunder just four short of 2,500 runs in his 30 Ashes tests at 42.30 with six hundreds. But Morris shades it for us. As part of the 1948 Invincibles, Morris outscored Bradman having already hit three hundreds in the 1946/47 series. He scored eight hundreds in all in 24 Ashes tests at an average of 50.73 - a figure bettered by only three other Australians - Bradman, Border and Steve Waugh.

In defence of the tie

One of the many wonderful things about cricket is that the Americans (and the French, for that matter) cannot comprehend it. They don't understand how a game can last for five days and still be a draw. Draws or ties are anathema in the US and all their major sports have overtime to ensure a winner emerges in every game - even if the match is part of a league where draws could be easily accommodated.

A draw can be a wonderful thing in cricket as England's three great escapes in the last 12 months at Cardiff, Centurion and Cape Town would testify. A tied match is even better with the Brisbane test between Australia and West Indies in 1960rightly recognised as one of the greatest test matches ever. Even in ODI, a tied match is allowed and who can forget the tied semi-final between Australia and the choking South Africans in the 1999 World Cup?

But as with many things T20 does it differently. In the last few weeks we have witnessed two tied T20 matches between Australia and New Zealandand then in the IPL on Sunday between Kings XI Punjab and Chennai Super Kings. But were hands shaken with honours even? No, we had to endure cricket's equivalent of a penalty shootout the Super Over.

As described on Wikipedia, the Super Over is described as thus "At the end of a tied match and before the Super Over, each team nominates a "mini team" that consists of three batsmen and a bowler who bat and bowl in their teams' Super Over, respectively. The team that scores the most runs in their Super Over is the winner of the match."

Sounds simple enough, but to me in cricket it is completely unnecessary. The honourable nature of a tie or a draw is one of the things that makes cricket special and places it above other sports. If God played any sport, it would be cricket. Of course, as part of Lalit Modi's plan of conquering America, the World and then Mars the Super Over is a crucial tactic in converting the uneducated to the virtues of man's greatest invention after beer.

Invariably even the worst inventions have at least one bright spot. The Super Over is no exception as judging by the two matches above, Australians are rubbish at it. In fact they are so bad that they could be the cricketing equivalent of England in penalty shootouts. Matt Hayden's airshot for the Chennai Super Kings was a shot in the arm for bowlers and a defeat for the Mongoose.

But please get rid of the Super Over. Neither Australia or New Zealand deserved to lose and by contrast neither Chennai or Punjab deserved to win.

 

 

 

 

Tamim Iqbal's 'come and get me' plea to the IPL

A while back I wrote that Tamim Iqbal had successfully graduated from the Sehwag School for batting. That was after his brilliant century 151 against India in January.

Today he decided to take his PhD and secure a spot in the IPL with his batting in the second test against England in Dhaka. And unlike Matt Hayden he did it without using a Mongoose.

Tamim treated Tim Bresnan with the disdain he deserves as perhaps England's least threatening opening bowler of all time. And then he took a shine to Graeme Swann, newly installed as the second best test bowler in the World. Tamim treated him like a club 3rd XI occasional bowler. Steve Finn was carted for 22 from his two overs.

He reached his fifty off only 34 balls and had reached 85 (off 71) before he got a diabolical decision being given out caught behind off his arm to give James Tredwell his first test wicket. This prevented him from getting a 100, and who knows a 150, before lunch. It would have been as deserved as it would have been memorable.

If the shadow of his former self Damien Martyn can get an IPL contract then Tamim can expect his Blackberry to be buzzing soon. 

 

Delhi Daredevils downed by a monster with a Mongoose

After coming aground abruptly against Sachin Tendulkar and the Mumbai Indians, I wrote that the Delhi Daredevils were similar to Liverpool Football Club in that tremendous success was normally failed by dismal failure. It’s not as if I wasn’t prepared either as my choice to support Delhi met with a chorus of warnings that the Daredevils were perennial underachievers.

 

Today with Virender Sehwag again at his scintillating best, Delhiposted 185/6 against the Chennai Super Kings. Game over. Or so I thought.

 

Enter that bully from days of yore, Matthew Hayden. But this time armed with a new weapon called the Mongoose. This new bat has a longer handle, is shorter and thicker than conventional cricket bats and apparently provides up to 20% more power.

 

Placed in the arms of a bully like Hayden, the combination proved irresistible. The former Australian opener even tormented Delhi by starting his innings with a conventional bat. After warming up with three boundaries in his first eight balls, he called for the Mongoose.

 

And Delhi became his cobra as the bowling was flayed to all corners of the ground. Hayden, not someone who really needs extra power, smashed six fours and seven sixes off his first 35 balls with his new beast bat.

I may just be a disgruntled Delhisupporter but the odds are already heavily against bowlers today with flat pitches and small grounds, and in T20 that seems to be exacerbated. So, I’m not sure if providing the bat equivalent of a cluster bomb to gorging batsmen is entirely fair. Maybe the stump height should be increased or the ball made smaller, or hell maybe batsmen should have to bat blindfolded in T20 to even things up?

 

Anyway, it is confirmed Delhi Daredevils and Liverpool FC are one and the same thing. Maybe the Delhiowners could push some cash the way of Rafa Benitez? He certainly needs it.

Graduates from the Sehwag School for Batting announced

To coincide with the ascension of its patron to the number one ranked test batsman in the ICC rankings, the Sehwag School of Batting based in Viru's home city of Delhi has announced the first graduates from its initial intake of students, as well as details of honorary degrees awarded to four already established batsmen.

The press release stated that the school had been created to further the style, panache and all out attacking bravado of its patron so that similar daredevil batsmen become more prevalent throughout the cricket world.

 

The statement named criteria on which degrees will be awarded both on a postgraduate and honorary level. These are:

Graduates must be opening batsmen; preferably (but not essentially) ones that started their careers lower down the order.

Degrees will only be awarded to batsmen who demonstrate an all out attack mode in all formats of the game, irrespective of whether wickets are falling around them.

Good stats and high strike rates need to be combined i.e. Mohammad Ashraful has been a student now for over five years but still shows no sign of actually graduating.

Finally, graduates have to have one additional special quality about them just like the religious like fervour attracted by Sehwag.

So without further ado, the first two graduates from the school are:

Tillakaratne Dilshan - Dilshan came to the school as a mature student struggling in the Sri Lankan middle order. He left it as the closest mortal there is in the world to Sehwag. Whether it is tests, ODIs or T20 it doesn't matter to Dilshan as in his new role as an opener he blasts the ball to all corners of the ground with alarming regularity. And his party piece the Dilscoop ensured that he completed his degree in record time.

Tamim Iqbal - Tamim passed his final exam only yesterday as he blasted away at England despite wickets falling regularly at the other end. The examiners particularly liked the way he tries to hit the ball as hard as he can at almost every opportunity. Despite his stats not quite being good enough, allowances were made for the fact that he plays for Bangladesh, and Sehwag casted the deciding vote for Tamim after his 151 against India in January.

Honorary degrees were awarded to four recent opening batsmen who Sehwag has played against and who he considers meet his batting mantra.

Chris Gayle - Not only a big-hitter but also the coolest man in cricket, Gayle received unanimous support from the Awards Committee, who noted that his patient century in Adelaide before Christmas nearly cost him an honorary degree as it was considered too circumspect. However, the fact that he made up for it in the next test at Perth sealed it. The committee particularly liked Gayle's dismissiveness of Nathan Hauritz - a player that Sehwag himself can not wait to face.

Sanath Jayasuriya - The granddaddy of brutal opening batsmen was also a shoo-in for an honorary award. Indeed, Sehwag himself suggested that if it hadn't been for Sanath he may have never been asked to open. Jayasuriya is the man who ripped up the template of what an opening batsman should be and consigned the likes of Boycott to the antiquated history books.

Matthew Hayden - Bullies do prosper sometimes and Hayden was certainly one of those. The barrel chested opener was probably the main driver behind Australia being able to score consistently at over four runs per over in test cricket and provided the inspiration for Sehwag to take that even higher as he did recently against Sri Lanka and South Africa.

Marcus  Trescothick - The man who introduced Sehwag to the delights of English sausages used to tuck in regularly to bowlers in both tests and ODIs. Special mention was made as to how the quick starts that Banger gave England in the infamous 2005 Ashes series were one of the main reasons behind their eventual triumph.