The Reverse Sweep

There is one person in cricket more disliked than John Howard...

After the last week you'd have thought that John Howard was the most hated figure associated with cricket. This was after the supposed formality of his appointment as Australia and New Zealand's choice as rotating President of the ICC was scuppered by the Asian countries, South Africa and West Indies all blocking the move. The ICC had done what Australian voters had failed to do four times when Howard was running as Prime Minister.

However, it would seem that another Australian is arguably even more unpopular than the famously 'cricket tragic' Howard. Even his own country's supporters don't seem to be too keen on what is a potent cocktail of hate encompassing arrogance, tantrums, childish sulks, tears and a selfish streak (listen to any interview and it is all about him) that makes Kevin Pietersen and Jacques Kallis look like the ultimate team players. Despite having a stellar year in all formats of the game, this cricketer if anything seems to have got more unpopular even amongst the banks of green and gold acolytes.

Step forward Shane Watson.

And judging by this picture you can add gormless to his list of 'attributes'. Other than Ricky Ponting and Shane Warne, does anyone actually like him? Even his Mum and Dad didn't look that happy when Watson's comical quest for a test hundred was finally conquered in the Boxing Day test last year against Pakistan (and even that required him to be dropped on 99). 

Australian cricket fans, please let us know at the Reverse Sweep why you don't like Watson and we'll publish a montage of the best reasons (minus any defamatory or gross ones of course!).

ICC and Winston Churchill tell John Howard where to go

Even though we are not Australian and indeed only lived there for a year at the end of the 1990's, we have an unfathomable dislike of former Australian Prime Minister John Howard and were not looking forward to his confirmation as Vice-President of the ICC prior to taking over the full Presidency in 2012.

The thought of someone who made ill-advised comments about Murali's bowling action when he was at the helm of the Australian Government didn't suggest that he would build any bridges with the new power base of cricket in Asia.

So it was with delight that we saw that following confirmation yesterday that six countries were ready to block Howard's appointment, the ICC officially rejected the self-confessed cricket tragic today much to the chagrin of the Australian and New Zealand boards who had endorsed Howard's candidacy.

We're not sure who the Antipodeans will come up with next but even Kylie Minogue or Dame Edna Everage would be preferable to Mr Howard. So it is with pleasure that we can deliver the following message to Howard from Winston Churchill and all fellow cricket fans.

  

Lalit Modi gets in an early strike at John Howard

Yesterday we suggested that John Howard had been sharpening his spinning skills in order to combat Lalit Modi in his new role as El Presidente of the ICC.

Well, it looks like Lalit has got his first punch in early on the former Australian Prime Minister as he arrived for this first day at the office today. The video below shows just the lengths that Modi will go to in what should be a fascinating battle.

 

Look out Lalit Modi, El Presidente is coming to get you...

...with his flipper, googly and worst of all his deadly doosra. John Howard's "war on the terror of the IPL" is coming to cinema screens near you soon...  

Pauline Hanson to stand against John Howard for ICC presidency?

There's been a fair bit of coverage in the press recently about former Australian PM John Howard being shortlisted for the post of ICC President from 2012, when either an Australian or Kiwi will fill the post for two years.

On hearing this, Pauline Hanson, a nemisis of Mr Howard during his long tenure as the leader of his country, has apparently decided to put herself forward. Hanson was a controversial figure and is regarded by many Australians as a racist, which if true suggests that she wouldn't be far off being akin to the Nazis.

Anyway having been horrified by the appeal of Hanson and her then One Nation party when I was in Australia in 1998 and 1999, I am wondering what her justification for standing will be. I can imagine a TV interview along the following lines:

Reporter: "So, Mrs Hanson what have you got to say?"

Hanson "Please explain"

Reporter "Why have you decided to stand against John Howard for the ICC presidency?"

Hanson "It has been widely recognised by all, including the media, that John Howard's supposed love of cricket came about due to One Nation policies. In short, if we were not around, John Howard would not have declared his love of cricket and wouldn't be standing for the ICC presidency"

Reporter "Err quite. But what about you. Despite what you say, John Howard is recognised as this country's biggest cricket tragic. What is your level of interest in the game?"

Hanson "Have you seen Howard playing cricket? Tragic is the word. I am standing not as an administrator with a thorough knowledge of cricket but as a woman who has had her fair share of life's knocks, with views based on commonsense, and my experience as a mother of four children, as a sole parent, and as a businesswoman running a fish and chip shop. You know we used to watch so much cricket when we were serving the fish and chips, and we were even more biased against whomever Australia was playing than the Channel 9 commentary team. Bill Lawry is my hero you know - he always goes on about the good ol' Australian crowd"

Reporter "What would you say to the people who believe that your views on non-Australians don't exactly make you suitable for heading an organisation with member countries from the Caribbean and Indian sub-continent?"

Hanson "I don't like it"

Reporter "But surely they would have a point? You've sailed pretty close to the wind in the past with your comments on Aborigines and Asians"

Hanson "Please explain"

Reporter "Well most people would consider that what you've said in the past is discriminatory and downright offensive"

Hanson "I may be only a "fish and chip shop lady", but some of these people need to get their heads out of the textbooks and get a job in the real world. I would not even let one of them handle my grocery shopping"

Reporter "Have you got any support so far?"

Hanson "I am one red-blooded Australian who speaks for 90% of Australians. I've got loads of support. For example one of my supporters was at the WACA last week. You know the guy who rugby tackled the Pakistan player? We just don't want their team in our country"

Reporter "Hmm, so you have the support of some fairly respectable Australians then. Is there anything else you'd like to say?" 

Hanson "I don't like what is happening to international cricket. I don't like it. Howard will just kowtow to all the minorities. I'll make sure Australia comes first"

Reporter "Err thank you Mrs Hanson, and now back to the studio".

Could it happen? For those of you that haven't experienced the charm and balanced views of Pauline Hanson, you might want to check out the song she apparently wrote.