The Reverse Sweep

Resurrection: A drastic cure to England's spin woes in Asia

England have seven more Test matches in Asia in 2012 and based on their abject batting performances in Dubai and Abu Dhabi over the last two weeks they may have to resort to a little bit of black magic in order to conquer their spin demons.

So that's what we've done in our regular column for All Out Cricket this week where we've revised, renewed, reformed and in one case resurrected an England top six capable of mastering spin in Asia.

To see if you agree with our selection, read We Are The Resurrection (yes, Stone Roses fans you have correctly spotted the slight rephrasing of the greatest of album closing tracks) and dream of English success in Asia.

Where next?

Cricket heroes: David Gower

An XI of Cricket Heroes

10 reasons why Ian Botham may have worn sunglasses at the premiere of 'From the Ashes'

England's tale of woe against spin in Asia

Check out all our Reverse Sweep cricket heroes and zeroes

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

An XI of Cricket Heroes

 
This week saw the publication of our 1000th post since we started The Reverse Sweep in 2009, which we suppose is cause for some mild celebration.

Cricket Heroes & Zeroes is perhaps the most prominent feature of this blog, so here is a team of our cricket heroes to muse over whilst we sip our celebratory glass of Bollinger (and no Doug, we don't mean you).

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Jack Hobbs

The Master. We were in awe of his staggering accomplishments as a youngster and we still are.

See Cricket heroes: Jack Hobbs

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Victor Trumper

The thinking man's Bradman. Stylish, effervescent and with all the strokes. The first batsman to hit a Test hundred before lunch.

See All-time Australian Ashes XI: The Openers

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Viv Richards

Sachin acolytes will doubtless disagree, but King Viv is the not only the most destructive but the best batsman we've seen in 30 plus years of watching cricket.  And what about that swagger?

See Cricket heroes: Viv Richards

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David Gower

Our first cricket memory that really resonates was our boyhood hero Gower nonchalantly dispatching his first ball in Test cricket to the boundary.

See cricket heroes: David Gower

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Douglas Jardine (Captain)

England's greatest captain and the foe of Bradman in the notorious (and ultimately successful) Ashes expedition of 1932/33.

See cricket heroes: Douglas Jardine

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Keith Miller

Flamboyant cricketer? Check. War hero? Check. Alleged dalliances with Princesses? Check. What's not to like?

See Keith Miller: Champion all-rounder, war hero & raconteur

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Ian Botham

He may divide opinion as a commentator, but for any English born, cricket loving child of the late seventies and early eighties, Beefy was the original comic book hero.

See All-time England Ashes XI - All-rounder, plus Botham's Ashes and 10 reasons why Ian Botham may have worn sunglasses at the premiere of 'From the Ashes'

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Henry Blofeld

Don't laugh. Until he lost an argument with a bus, Blofeld was a promising enough schoolboy wicketkeeper to be talked about as a future Test player. But it is Blofeld's eccentric, irreverent and unmissable commentary on Test Match Special that gets him in here.

See cricket heroes: Henry Blofeld

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Hedley Verity

England's greatest ever spinner died a hero leading his men into battle in the Allied invasion of Italy in 1943.  1956 first-class wickets at an incredible 14.90 is the ultimate evidence of Verity's genius.

See cricket heroes: Hedley Verity

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Malcolm Marshall

If Richards is the best batsman we've ever seen, then Marshall is the best bowler. Marshall had everything. Express pace, a nasty bouncer (just ask Mike Gatting and Andy Lloyd) and the ability to swing the ball both ways.

See cricket heroes: Malcolm Marshall

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Harold Larwood

Bodyline's scapegoat is reputed to have been the fastest bowler ever and he certainly executed Jardine's cunning plan to the letter. His dignified response to being ostracised by the establishment proved he was as brilliant a man as he had been the most fearsome of fast bowlers.

See All-time Ashes XI and also Bodyline and nine other Ashes controversies

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Where next?

Cricket Heroes: Graham Dilley R.I.P

Check out all our other Reverse Sweep cricket heroes and zeroes

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

When Gower and Gavaskar were kings

With the long-awaited England-India series finally starting this week, we decided to get all nostalgic in our latest column for All Out Cricket in reminiscing about the first Test series we watched - the 1979 contest between the same two sides.

Despite the man of the series going to Ian Botham, it was two contrasting batsmen that caught the imagination of this then seven year old - read When Gower and Gavaskar were kings to find out more.

Where next?

Cricket heroes: David Gower

The best 30 batsmen ever (featuring Sunil Gavaskar): Part 1 (30-21), Part 2 (20-11), Part 3 (10-1)

10 reasons why Ian Botham may have worn sunglasses at the premiere of 'From the Ashes'

Zaheer Khan: He came, he saw, he conquered....he got injured

Cricket heroes: Henry Blofeld

Don't miss a thing - Subscribe to and read about all of the Top 20 Cricket Blogs here

Check out all our Reverse Sweep cricket heroes and zeroes

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

10 reasons why Ian Botham may have worn sunglasses at the premiere of 'From the Ashes'

 

It's certainly been quite a week for cricket film premieres. Following swiftly on the heels of 'Fire in Babylon', the shindig for 'From the Ashes' - a documentary about the infamous 1981 Ashes series - saw the likes of Ian Botham, David Gower and Bob Willis swanning along the red carpet and posing for the cameras.

But in every picture we've seen of the event - such as the one above - Botham is wearing shades despite the premiere being in the evening and sunglasses plainly not being the most suitable attire for a trip to the cinema.

Here are ten possible reasons why Beefy chose to don the shades: 

1. His old nemesis Ian Chappell caught Botham by surprise in the car park as he was arriving and landed a couple on him
2. Beefy's just a shy retiring sort of chap, who doesn't like the limelight. No really!
3. Shh! He's on an undercover mission from MI5 to assassinate Charles Colville. Don't blow his cover!
4. Botham's eyes still haven't been put back in place after popping out of their sockets on seeing Pippa Middleton at the recent Royal Wedding
5. He's doubling up as Bob Willis's bodyguard after unsubstantiated rumours that the merciless Jonathan Trott was going to take his revenge for the verbal attacks Willis made during the World Cup
6. They're his special Knight of the Realm shades given to Botham personally by the Queen
7. The real Botham wasn't available, so his Madame Tussauds waxwork was used as a last minute replacement
8. He'd been out on the tiles with Gower and a couple of quiet ones turned into a marathon binge session
9. He's auditioning for the title role in the next Terminator film, or and perhaps most plausibly;
10. Despite having been a magnificent cricketer, at the end of day he's a bit of a nob

Where next?

Botham's Ashes

See Ian Botham stink the place out in Sky's new Ashes advert

All-time England Ashes XI - All-rounder

First Andy Gray, and now is Ian Botham getting the boot from Sky?

Cricket Heroes: Bob Willis, David Gower and Cricket Zeroes: Charles Colville

Follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

Lay off England after World Cup proves a bridge too far

Two days later and England’s thumping defeat against Sri Lanka in the World Cup quarter final doesn’t feel any better.

Defeat by ten wickets with 63 balls still remaining is about as comprehensive as it gets.

Whilst England’s batsmen looked like they were batting on treacle, Dilshan and Tharanga never looked in any trouble as they cruised to victory.

The recriminations are in full swing. Whispers about Strauss’ future as ODI captain and the wholesale replacement of others abound.

The painful truth is that England simply weren’t good enough. They blundered through the group stages and failed to put in even one commanding performance.

But whilst the likes of Willis, Botham and Boycott will no doubt baulk at the idea, England never had a chance of success at this World Cup because of the ridiculous poisoned chalice of a schedule they were handed this winter.

Sure, England lacked match-winners and key players like Anderson underperformed, but these guys were dead on their feet.

Whoever agreed to a schedule that saw some players spend just three days at home between arriving back from Australia and embarking to the holding camp in Dubai for the World Cup needs to be summarily sacked.

Lest it not be forgotten, England won an Ashes series down under for the first time in 24 years this winter. The successful campaign was meticulously planned and ruthlessly executed.

But not unsurprisingly, these efforts had a physical, mental and emotional strain on the players.

Fatigue leads to injuries and England’s one day squad doesn’t have the strength in depth to cope with the absence of the likes of Broad, Pietersen and Shahzad.

Of those that remained, Anderson was a virtual imposter such was the emptiness of his tank and the likes of Bell, Prior and Swann all fell significantly from the peaks they reached during the Ashes series.

Perhaps with hindsight, England’s first choice players should have flown home for a much needed break immediately after the Ashes series finished in Sydney.

Then a second-string ODI squad could have battled for the final World Cup squad places in the utterly pointless seven match series with Australia.

But contracts between the cricket boards of Australia and England doubtless prevented that.

The schedule is not an excuse for England’s failure, but it is a reason. England aren’t good enough at ODI cricket either – especially in a World Cup in sub-continental conditions, which negated their main strengths further.

But before casting stones at Strauss, Flower and co, do remember that the main prize this winter – the urn – has been secured and whilst yet another World Cup campaign has ended in disappointment, it was always going to be a bridge too far.  

Where next?

Check out our Reverse Sweep XIs

Read all our 2011 World Cup posts here

Heroes: Bob Willis

An XI of unlikely World Cup heroes and a not so heroic 12th man

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

First Andy Gray, and now is Ian Botham getting the boot from Sky?

 
Our spies at Sky tell us that the dismissal of Andy Gray is just the start of a political correctness purge at the broadcaster to rid itself of the dinosaurs that stalk its sports coverage. Judging from this leaked letter, which may or may not be genuine, it would seem that Ian Botham is next in the firing line…

Dear Sir Ian,

Even though you are in Australia, you may have seen reports that Andy Gray was sacked yesterday for multiple episodes of sexism towards a female assistant referee and to fellow Sky presenters.

The company has decided to use this window of opportunity to review our roster of sports presenters and pundits with the aim of pensioning off any that could be accused of being guilty of political incorrectness. For example, henceforth all female Sky Sports News presenters will be required to wear a burqa when on-air. 

Doubtless you will understand that Sky just cannot take the risk of any more bad publicity in light of the antics of Gray and the grinning jackanapes Richard Keys.

Unfortunately, the spotlight has now fallen on you. We have collated evidence that irrefutably proves that you discriminate amongst others  against Australians, people that are folicly challenged and pensioners.

Firstly if we go back to your playing days, you clearly took a pathological delight in beating Australia. In particular, your exploits at Headingley and Edgbaston in 1981, your haul of wickets in the 1985 series and the decisive role you played at Brisbane and Melbourne in 1986 makes the Sky board uncomfortable. Sport is supposed to be about the taking part not the winning and the fact that you beat Australia in five of the seven Ashes series you played against them means that you obviously don’t share our belief.

Then there is the series that has recently concluded. Having looked back at the tapes, you seem to have taken an unhealthy delight in glorifying and gloating about England’s success. On several episodes you mocked the Australian team and players like Mitchell Johnson, Michael Clarke and Xavier Doherty in particular. Worse of all, your comments about Doug Bollinger’s hair demonstrate that you are a closet baldist.

If this wasn’t enough, your running battle with Ian Chappell places us in an untenable position. Chappell is 67 and we simply cannot tolerate Sky employees bullying an old age pensioner let alone challenging them to a bout of fisticuffs.

Finally, we have become aware that you had a torrid two-year affair with an Australian waitress named Kylie Verrells. We have testimony that you promised to marry her and even engaged in bondage sessions with the demure young lady. Doubtless you enjoyed dangling an Australian girl on a string. As part of Sky’s new pious approach, we simply cannot tolerate lies, misogyny, adultery and dubious sexual acts.

All these episodes of playing to win, anti-Australianism, baldism, ageism and adultery amount to gross misconduct in Sky’s HR policy and mean that you are dismissed with immediate effect.

Yours sincerely,

A. Faceless HR bod

Where next?

Botham's Ashes

See Ian Botham stink the place out in Sky's new Ashes advert

All-time England Ashes XI - All-rounder

Zeroes: Mitchell Johnson

Doug Bollinger as you've never seen him before

Michael Clarke joins Linkin Park

Follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

Zeroes: Steven Smith

 
It would seem that the decline and fall of the Roman Empire had nothing on that currently being experienced by the Australian cricket team.

After years of dominance by an all-conquering side, the steady decline after their World Cup success of 2007 has suddenly turned into a rapid fall culminating in the recent catastrophic home Ashes series defeat.

Being England supporters here at the Reverse Sweep, one of the best things about Australia’s slide has been that they have started mirroring some of the worst excesses of the England cricket team of the 1990’s. Namely batting collapses from nowhere, toothless bowling, an unerring ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory and bizarre selections.

One of these has been Steven Smith. We’re still not quite sure what the point of Smith is. He most definitely isn’t a test number six, nor from what we have seen to date, is he even remotely a test class leg-spinner. He can field and he certainly seems to have a bit of pluck, but to be frank not much else.

The Australian selectors won’t admit it, but they are desperate to find a leg-spinner to replace Shane Warne, and much like the England selectors when trying to find a replacement for Ian Botham, they are prepared to try pretty much anyone - hence the likes of Bryce McGain getting a brief and painful experience of Test cricket.

England were also desperate to find an English Shane Warne in the 1990s. Ian Salisbury was picked, dropped and recalled before being discarded for good. Then in a move similar to the Australian’s premature punt on Smith, Chris Schofield was plunged in at the deep end after a handful of first-class matches and sunk without trace in two tests against Zimbabwe in 2000.

Smith is only 21, so he has time on his side and to be fair we were impressed with his counterattacking 77 against Pakistan at Headingley last summer. He also seems to have more about him than Schofield. And if he continues to enjoy the luck he had in the second innings of the Perth Test where he became the most fortunate Australian since Elizabeth Hurley invited Warney in for a nightcap, he may yet make the grade.

But at the risk of Smith metamorphosing into a genuine test-class leggie that proves the difference between the sides in future Ashes series, we’ll be surprised if it is Smith that has us crying into our beer if and when Australian cricket rises again - unless if it is with laughter of course.

Where next?

Seven reasons why the Poms love Shane Warne

Is Australia's spin cupboard bare?

The curious case of Nathan Hauritz

Check out all our Reverse Sweep heroes and zeroes: including amongst others Shane Watson, Nathan Hauritz, Mitchell Johnson, James Anderson, David Gower and Imran Khan 

Follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

The Boundary View: England on the brink of joining the immortals - Sydney, Day Four

 
England on the brink of joining the immortals

On a day when that doughty fighter Paul Collingwood announced his retirement from test cricket, England are on the verge of gaining admittance to the cricketing equivalent of Valhalla after once again dominating a pathetic Australian side on day 4 at the SCG. If Adelaide and Melbourne were good, Sydney has been even better. Other than Perth and the first innings at Brisbane, England have utterly dominated this series and a final scoreline of 3-1 will provide the gloss that their efforts have deserved. On the same pitch that England amassed 644 in 177.5 overs, their bowlers once again showed the impotence of their Australian counterparts by getting plenty of reverse swing to send the hosts spiralling to what will be a third innings defeat of the series. That is a comprehensive walloping in anyone's language.

Prior does a Beefy 

Matt Prior has had a sound series with the gloves, but perhaps his defining moment came with the bat in Melbourne. With hardly a run to his name in the series, Prior looked all at sea and it was no surprise when he was out to a catch behind the wicket. But Aleem Dar asked for a review to check if Johnson had over-stepped. He had, so Prior was reprieved and went on to score an ugly 85. The value of that time at the crease was magnified today with a fluent Prior reaching his fourth Test hundred off just 109 balls. It was the quickest Ashes hundred by an England batsman since a certain Ian Botham turned around the Headingley Test of 1981.

Shane Watson's Comedy Moments - Number 375

A quick glance at his stats of 435 runs at 48.33 suggests that Shane Watson has had a pretty good series. However, although he has reached 36 in eight out of ten innings, a three figure score has eluded him each time and his running between the wickets has bordered on the catastrophic. He ran Katich out in Adelaide before his partner had even faced a ball (a Katich-astrophe?) and then Hughes was the victim in Melbourne. Watson said afterwards - probably insincerely - that he wished it had been him and not Hughes who had fallen short. Well his wish became the cricketing Gods command today when he and Hughes turned an easy two into an almighty mix-up. A DVD of 'Shane Watson's Comedy Moments' featuring crazy run-outs, serial failures to reach three figures and plenty of sulking must be due for release soon. 

Racking up the runs

England's total of 644 was their highest ever in Australia, which coming after 517/1 at Brisbane, 620/5 at Adelaide and 513 at Melbourne shows England's unquenchable thirst for runs this series and the utter ineptness of Australia's woeful bowling. England's batsmen have racked up nine hundreds between them - a record for them in Ashes encounters and Cook, Trott, Bell, Pietersen and Prior all average over 50 for the series. And it is unlikely to get any better for Australia as their next Test series is in Sri Lanka. Just imagine how many runs the likes of Sangakkara and Jayawardene will plunder from this dreadful attack.

Player of the day

Up to the start of the Boxing Day Test, it seemed that Brad Haddin was going to win the battle of the wicketkeeper-batsmen, but it's now a hands down victory for Matt Prior. He has consistently been better with the gloves than Haddin and his quickfire hundred today gave him the honours with the bat too. 

Zero of the day

Australia's bowling was again woeful and impotent, but this award has to go jointly to Shane Watson and Phil Hughes. For the second successive test Australia faced a huge first innings deficit and both times the opening pair contrived to throw away a good start by running between the wickets like headless chickens. Watson in particular should hang his head in shame. "Oh no" indeed. 

What happens next?

Immortality for Andrew Strauss and his men and yet more ignominy for Australia. 

Where next?

Farewell to Paul Collingwood - England's Working Class Hero; Heroes: Paul Collingwood

Zeroes: Shane Watson

Day 3 @ Sydney: Cook & Bell in the pink as England take command

Day 2 @ Sydney: England progress after Johnson's sting in the tail

Day 1 @ Sydney: Rain interrupts war of attrition

Read all the excerpts from KP's 2010 Ashes Diary

Read all the latest from our Ashes 2010/11 coverage

Check out all our Reverse Sweep heroes and zeroes 

Follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

4th Test: Melbourne - Preview: Can England reprise glory of 1986?

 
The last time England retained the Ashes down under was in the Boxing Day Test at Melbourne in 1986 when they crushed Australia by an innings and 14 runs to take an unassailable 2-0 lead in the series. With the debacle at Perth now behind them, Andrew Strauss' side has a second opportunity to retain the urn at the same Melbourne Cricket Ground over the coming days.

In the lead-up to the 4th test there has been much speculation about the late switch to a much greener looking pitch, which has given hope to Australians that Mitchell Johnson and Ryan Harris will find a similarly helpful, fast and bouncy wicket to the one that suited them so much at Perth. This is probably wishful thinking on behalf of the home side and the usual slow Melbourne pitch is a much more likely proposition.

This means that Australia will have to think hard about the make-up of their side. Do they risk going in again with four specialist quicks and the part-time spin of Steve Smith? Or do they hand Michael Beer a test debut in place of either Peter Siddle or Ben Hilfenhaus? Dropping the former would mean that Australia would lose its chief snarler in what appeared to be a new 'in your face' approach in Perth.

England also have decisions to make as to the make-up of the bowling attack, although Andy Flower confirmed earlier this week that they will stick to their four-man bowler approach in the absence of a world-class all-rounder. This is no surprise especially as Matt Prior isn't in the form to justify an elevation to number six.

Likely line-ups

England are likely to be unchanged although Tim Bresnan or Ajmal Shahzad may come in for Steve Finn if the latter is deemed to need a rest by the England management. other than that the only change could be Ian Bell being promoted to five ahead of Paul Collingwood.

For Australia, Ricky Ponting is almost certain to play despite a broken little finger and surely they won't repeat their error of The Oval 2009 by going in without a specialist spinner? If Beer does get the nod, expect Siddle to be the one carrying the drinks. Australia also has the option of bolstering the batting by playing Ponting's stand-by Usman Khawaja instead of Smith at number six.

Look out for…

We tipped Kevin Pietersen to end his long quest for a century in our preview of the Adelaide Test and despite crashing back down to earth in Perth, we fully expect him to reach three figures here again in Melbourne.

Ricky Ponting is too great a batsman not to stamp his influence on this series and despite his broken digit and poor run of scores, we would be very surprised if he doesn't make a significant score on the biggest of stages.

Finally, Graeme Swann had a quiet game in Perth after his seven wickets in Adelaide, but the surface at the MCG is likely to suit him better and we wouldn't be surprised to see him star in the 2nd innings. Australia may come to regret not picking their best spinner - the in-form Nathan Hauritz instead of the untried Beer.

Previously at Melbourne

Scene of the first ever Test match in 1877, there have been 53 encounters between England and Australia at the cavernous Melbourne Cricket Ground. Australia has the advantage with 27 wins to England’s 19 and perhaps a clue to the outcome of the 2010 edition is that there have only been 7 draws.

2006 – Australia won by an innings and 99 – England suffered a Boxing Day hangover as they were bundled out for just 159 with Warne taking his 700^th Test wicket. England struck back by reducing Australia to 84/5 before Hayden and Symonds both reached 150. England then capitulated for a second time for 161 for yet another woeful defeat on the most dispiriting of tours.

2002 – Australia won by five wickets – Justin Langer hit 250 as Australia amassed a powerful 551/6 and then England only managed 20 more runs than Langer made on his own. They did better after following on with Michael Vaughan scoring a sparkling 145 as England at least set Australia a target. They then restored further pride by taking five wickets as Australia stumbled over the winning line.

1998 – England won by 12 runs – A pulsating test match with a dramatic climax. Rain ruined day one but Alec Stewart scored a captain’s hundred as England made 270. Steve Waugh (122) then masterminded runs from the tail as Australia led by 70. And when England could only make 244 in their second innings and Australia reached 130/3 in pursuit of 162 all seemed lost. Step forward Dean Headley – who engineered a spectacular collapse and a famous England win.

1986 – England won by an innings and 14 – Mike Gatting’s side secured the retention of the urn with a crushing victory in the Boxing Day Test. Gladstone Small and Ian Botham took five apiece as Australia could only muster 141. Then Chris Broad’s third successive hundred provided the bedrock of England’s 208 1^st innings lead. Phil Edmonds and John Emburey then spun England to victory.

1982 – England won by 3 runs – The forerunner to Edgbaston 2005. An extremely tight match saw all four innings total between 284 and 294. When Australia were 218 for nine chasing 292 all looked lost for the home side. But Border and Thomson took them to within sight of the finishing line before that man Botham struck inducing an edge from Thomson that Tavare parried into the hands of a grateful Miller.

Prediction

If the weather holds true then the MCG is a result wicket and we fully expect England to win a tight encounter and therefore retain the Ashes with the final test in Sydney still to come.

Where next?

Dear Santa...

Read KP's Ashes Diary exclusively at the Reverse Sweep

Dean Headley's 15 minutes of fame

Read all the latest from our Ashes 2010/11 coverage

The 25 Greatest Ashes Tests of them all: Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

Dear Santa...

 
With Christmas only two days away, we’d been wondering what some of cricket’s big names have asked Santa for.

Thanks to a renegade Elf in Santa's inner sanctum, all can now be revealed:

Shane Watson – the man who Carly Simon once wrote a song about has asked for his bedroom to be covered wall to wall and floor to ceiling with mirrors. He has also asked for a year’s supply of Kleenex. No, not for that! But in anticipation of more tears when he next gets out in the nervous nineties

Michael Clarke– a lifelike Lara Bingle rubber doll and a backbone

Jonathan Trott and Doug Bollinger – appointments with Jacques Kallis’ new hair consultant

Ricky Ponting – the hottest curry sauce of all – anything that means he can get amongst the runs again, but on no account does he want any Beer to go with it

Andrew Strauss- an exclusive membership of the club of Middlesex captains that have won an Ashes series down under. To date, Mike Gatting, Mike Brearley and Pelham Warner are the only members

Steve Smith– Being young he wants to learn, so he has asked Santa for  ‘The Marcus North Tutorial of Batting at Six’ and ‘The Idiots Guide to Leg-Spin by Chris Schofield'

Steve Finn– he had wanted clothes, but after being so expensive at the WACA he managed to bag a sponsorship deal with Prada, so the tall paceman now wants the same radar that Mitchell Johnson used in Perth

Matt Prior & Peter Siddle and Ian Botham & Ian Chappell – a pair of boxing gloves each so that they can take their respective war of words into the ring

Michael Hussey– some more kryptonite to ensure that he can reprise his Superman heroics at Melbourne and Sydney

Kamran Akmal  - A new set of wicketkeeper gloves made entirely out of velcro

Salman Butt, Mohammad Aamer and Mohammad Asif  - A damn good lawyer

Nathan Hauritz – Having got rid of his Australian kit at a recent garage sale, the discarded spinner now wants a fresh new kit from Santa in time to make a comeback in Sydney

MS Dhoni– some cotton wool in which to wrap up Zaheer Khan prior to every test match and particularly for the upcoming tours of England and Australia

Tim Bresnan and Jesse Ryder - a KFC Bargain Bucket per day for life

Ijaz Butt  - World War III

Harbhajan Singh– a set of Matthew Hayden’s cook books so that he can prepare a meal for his good friends Hayden and Andrew Symonds when he tours Australia later this year

Daniel Vettori - the Prime Ministership of New Zealand - well he does everything else. Either that or to wake up on Christmas Day as an Australian - there seems to be a vacancy for a spinner

Ian Bell – a DVD of the Famous Five, so he can prepare for his promotion up the batting order

Paul Collingwood – a guide to the best retirement homes in the North East of England

Mitchell Johnson – Kevin Pietersen’s phone number

Kevin Pietersen - A romantic dinner for two with Mitch

Where next?

Check out all our Reverse Sweep heroes and zeroes featuring Shane Watson, Mitchell Johnson and Nathan Hauritz amongst others

Historic India-Pakistan peace summit flounders on cricket diplomacy

Read KP's Ashes Diary exclusively at the Reverse Sweep

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

The Boundary View: The Empire Strikes Back - Brisbane, Day Four

 
Strauss goes from zero to hero

Andrew Strauss copped quite a bit of tap for his third ball dismissal in the first innings, so to bounce back today with a hundred - especially with his side behind the eight ball at the start of play - exemplified hisimmense mental strength and resilience. The luck was with him as evidenced by his narrow escape to the first ball of the innings and Mitchell Johnson's butter fingers, but like Michael Hussey yesterday, Strauss deserved his slices of good fortune. He became the seventh Englishman to follow a 1st innings duck with a 2nd innings Ashes hundred - following in the footsteps of Vaughan, Botham, Randall, Sheppard, Woolley and Tyldesley. The ultimate zero to hero story.

Cook's hard work pays dividends

For a man that was supposed to be the weak link in England's batting line-up, Alastair Cook has had a remarkable match. A watchful fifty in the 1st innings and now a workmanlike hundred in the second. Cook's technique looked all over the place in the English summer but time at the crease during the tour seems to have corrected most of these glitches and given Cook the requisite confidence. Perhaps the most notable beneficiary of England's approach to playing three warm-up matches prior to the series?

Better than Hobbs & Sutcliffe?

Strauss and Cook's ninth century opening stand in their 82nd test innings together took them past the Jack Hobbs-Herbert Sutcliffe union to become England's most prolific opening pair in Test cricket (see full list here). A fantastic achievement, yes. But, Hobbs and Sutcliffe - arguably the greatest opening partnership of them all - managed their 3249 runs in only 38 innings with 15 century stands and an average of 87.81 - over double that of Strauss and Cook. But given their highest opening partnership of the ill-fated 2006-07 series was 45, their 188 run stand today was quite brilliant.

Ponting's gun fires blanks

Even though the pitch suited the batters, Ricky Ponting must be worried about his misfiring attack. Johnson was hopeless and Ben Hilfenhaus has only really been dangerous in the first over of each innings. Xavier Doherty has bowled tidily but for the most part has been unthreatening and Shane Watson looked a part-time option at best. Even Peter Siddle has looked a shadow of the bowler he was in the 1st innings. With England toiling for 158 overs in Australia's 1st innings, it would seem that the attack that most quickly finds the ability to take 20 wickets in a match will win this series. 

Player of the Day

Alastair Cook - most of the attention will go to Strauss, but it was Cook that batted for the whole day and he now has just one run shy of 200 in both innings and has occupied the crease for over 10 hours in the match.

Zero of the day

Mitchell Johnson - for spraying the ball around like a sex-addicted rabbit on viagra and dropping an easy chance to reprieve Strauss. No wickets, a 19 ball duck, that drop and a comedy moustache - the joke is certainly on Johnson in this Test. Even Ponting seems to be losing the faith.

What happens next?

The draw seems the most likely result. But if England can push on, carve out a 300 run lead before tea and take a few wickets with the new ball, who knows? Just a note of caution for England fans though - in Adelaide in 2006 England were 97 runs ahead at the end of the fourth day and looked what happened then. 

Where next?

All-time Australian Ashes XI: The Openers, Number 3, 4 and 5, All-rounder, Wicketkeeper, Fast bowlers, Spin Kings

All-time England Ashes XI: The Openers, Number 3, 4 and 5, All-rounder, Wicketkeeper, Fast bowlers, Spin King

The Boundary View: The Hussey & Haddin Show - Brisbane, Day Three

The Boundary View: Mr Cricket Thwarts England - Brisbane, Day Two

The Boundary View: Siddle's Joy of Six - Brisbane, Day One

Ashes 100-1: 12 - The 25 Greatest Ashes Tests: Part 3 of 3

 
Today we conclude our mini-series of the 25 greatest Ashes tests of all time (see also Part 1 and Part 2 of the Greatest Ashes Tests ever) with the final nine starting in 1977 and ending in 2009.

Centenary Test, Melbourne, 12-17 March 1977 - Australia won by 45 runs: Not strictly an Ashes Test as the urn wasn't at stake, but this match staged to commemorate the first-ever Test exactly 100 years earlier was a classic. Australia were shot out for 138 before Lillee turned the table on England with six for 26 as England could only muster 95. Rod Marsh then struck 110 as Australia set England a mammoth 463 for victory. Amazingly they got close and at one point were 346 for four. But when Randall fell for a brilliant 174 the end was nigh and Australia scraped home by 45 runs - the same margin as in that first test 100 years before.

3rd Test, Headingley, 16-21 July 1981 - England won by 18 runs: For the first three days, England were completely outplayed and followed on. It seemed inevitable that Australia were about to go 2-0 up in the series. Then Botham with able support from Dilley and Old smashed 149 not out and Willis roared in with eight for 43 to enable England, who at one point had been 500/1 for the win, to score an amazing victory.

4th Test, Edgbaston, 30 July-2 August 1981 - England won by 29 runs: Lightning struck twice for Australia in the very next match when they looked like winning a low scoring encounter at Edgbaston. Set 151 to win, they eased to 87 for three before Botham produced his second miracle of the summer grabbing five for one in 28 balls to secure a 29-run victory.

4th Test, Melbourne, 26-30 December 1982 - England won by 3 runs: An extremely tight match saw all four innings total between 284 and 294. When Australia were 218 for nine chasing 292 all looked lost for the home side. But Border and Thomson took them to within sight of the finishing line before that man Botham struck inducing an edge from Thomson that Tavare parried into the hands of a grateful Miller.

4th Test, Melbourne, 26-30 December 1998 - England won by 12 runs: England were 2-0 down and the Ashes had already gone coming into the Boxing Day Test. But some unlikely seasonal cheer came their way when Australia collapsed chasing 175 - sliding from 130 for three to 162 all out. Dean Headley had his moment in the sun with six wickets whilst Steve Waugh scored 122 not out and 30 not out.

2nd Test, Edgbaston, 4-7 August 2005 - England won by 2 runs: The best test in history? McGrath and that cricket ball. Ponting wins the toss and inexplicably puts England in. England score over 400 on day one and lead by 99 on 1^stinnings. The Aussies fightback but a last wicket stand of 51 from Flintoff and Simon Jones enables England to set the Aussies 282 to win. A magical over by Flintoff accounts for Langer and Ponting. A magnificent slower ball from Harmison bamboozles Clarke. Lee with Warne and then Kasprowicz take Australia to the precipice of victory before Harmison and Geraint Jones combined to win the day for England. Flintoff consoles Lee. Breathtaking.

4th Test, Trent Bridge, 25-28 August 2005 - England won by 3 wickets: England dominated the match with a century from Flintoff and five wickets for Simon Jones. But in pursuit of only 129 for victory after Australia had followed on, panic set in against an inspired Warne and Lee. Giles and Hoggard were the unlikely heroes that steered England home.

2nd Test, Adelaide, 1-5 December 2006 - Australia won by six wickets: Disaster and ignominious defeat for England and glory for Australia. A double-hundred for Collingwood and 158 from Pietersen saw England declare on 551 for six. Hoggard took seven wickets as Australia conceded a 38 run lead - it should have been more but Giles dropped Ponting and the Australian captain cashed in with 142. With a draw the most likely result, England caved in on the last day to be all out for 129 with an inspirational Warne pulling the strings and Australia cantered to victory and ultimately a 5-0 series win.

5th Test, The Oval, 20-23 August - England won by 197 runs: With the series level at 1-1, the momentum was with Australia after a crushing win at Headingley in the 4th Test. But Strauss won a crucial toss and led from the front with 55 and Bell top-scored with 72 as England scored 332. Then with Australia cruising at 73 for o, Stuart Broad (five for 37) bowled an inspired spell as the tourists were reduced to 111 for seven and finally 160 all out. Jonathan Trott then struck a composed hundred on debut with Strauss hitting his second fifty of the match to help set Australia an unlikely 546 for victory. At 217 for two, England were nervous but Flintoff's run out of Ponting proved to be decisive and the Ashes had been regained.

Where next?

Read all the articles of our Ashes 100 day countdown

Botham's Ashes

10 reasons why Andrew Flintoff was a true Ashes great

Dean Headley's one day in the sun  

Shane Warne's Ashes nightmare

This is brilliant. The new Sky Sports advert to publicise their coverage of the Ashes series features Shane Warne having a nightmare and David Lloyd surfing...

Where next?

Zeroes: Charles Colville 

See Ian Botham stink the place out in Sky's new Ashes advert

Luke Wright breaks his cricket bat

Ashes 100-1: 15 - The Ashes predictions of two cricket legends & Steve Claridge

In today's Ashes countdown piece, David Siddall of World Cricket Watch takes a look at what some all-time cricket legends make of the coming series...

Exploring a number of different avenues, it appears that this Ashes series in wide open. The betting markets unsurprisingly still have Australia as odds on favourites – home soil and recent history only points one way. Meanwhile the cricket websites’ Ashes Poll 2010 tells a completely different story with some very optimistic England fans – approximately 58% I’m guessing – who are backing the visitors for a historic victory.

Based on this kind of evidence I think we need a third opinion; and who better to turn to than 3 all time legends and personal heroes. 

The first interview I’m referring to is with the greatest England all-rounder of them all. It’s none other than the highly patriotic Ian Botham doing a McGrathesque impression when asked the difficult question:

 

The second interview, courtesy of 888, features two legends. Shane Warne needs no introduction. Meanwhile Steve Claridge is a legend in his own right who’s probably not so well known to the well versed cricket fan. He is a retired footballer who played up front for the greatest football team in the world – Leicester City – and is famous for securing promotion to the Premier League with the best “shinned” goal you will likely ever see. Unlike Beefy, Messrs Warne and Claridge take a much more measured approach.

 

Ashes 100-1: 33 - Bodyline and nine other Ashes controversies

 
Throughout the history of the oldest and longest running international sporting contest, the Ashes have not been without their moments of controversy, most famously of course in the ‘Bodyline’ series of 1932-33 when Douglas Jardine’s leg theory strategy to nullify Bradman and his general animosity to all things Australian nearly led to a diplomatic incident between the two countries.

So to mark us reaching number 33 in our Ashes countdown, here are ten of the best Ashes controversies we’ve managed to dig out from the history books:

1. “Bodyline”

The most rancorous cricket series of them all. It slid from crisis to crisis and having at one time reached governmental level looked set to be called off. An unrepentant Jardine spoke openly of his dislike of all things Australian and there were near-riots at Adelaide. Despite overwhelming pressure the immovable Jardine refused to change his strategy and England won 4-1. The controversy ran on though and prompted rule changes, which effectively outlawed Bodyline tactics. Larwood never played for England again and Jardine’s captaincy ended before the teams next met in England in 1934.

2. Fisticuffs and withdrawals

Today’s PCB may be bad but 100 years ago the Australian Board of Control (BOC) was even worse. A meeting to confirm the touring party to England in 1912 resulted in a fight between Australia’s captain Clem Hill and BOC representative Peter McAllister. As part of the fallout Hill and five other leading players - Warwick Armstrong, Victor Trumper, Tibby Cotter, Hanson Carter and Vernon Ransford - refused to tour and Australia were soundly beaten.

3. Vandals stopped play

The last day of the third Test of the 1975 series at Headingley was evenly poised with Australia 225 for 3 chasing 420 to win the series and so retain the Ashes. However, the pitch was vandalised overnight by protesters campaigning for the release of convicted robber George Davis. Captains Tony Grieg and Ian Chappell both reluctantly agreed the game could not continue, although rain would have meant a draw in any case. Davis was freed the following year but was soon behind bars again after being caught red-handed.

4. Captain Pratt

Ricky Ponting’s frustration at England’s bowlers continually taking breaks from the field of play during the 2005 series boiled over at Nottingham when he was run out by substitute fielder Gary Pratt. As the video shows as he left the field, Ponting visibly swore and gesticulated at the England dressing room. England won a tight match by three wickets after collapsing when chasing a small target.

 

5. The Packer Affair

The 1977 series in England was completely overshadowed by the furore surrounding World Series Cricket, news of which broke as the Australian side arrived. Mike Brearley, who replaced the sacked WSC player recruiter and ringleader Tony Grieg, led England to a 3-0 win against a divided Australian side full of soon-to-be Packer players. International cricket would never be the same again.

6. The Aluminium Bat

Although not strictly an Ashes controversy due to the Ashes not being at stake in the three match 1979-80 series, the episode of Dennis Lillee’s aluminium bat is still worthy of inclusion. England captain Brearley, sporting a beard that made him look an Ayatollah, strongly objected and two proud men went toe to toe. The umpires sided with Brearley and in frustration, Lillee flung the bat across the WACA pitch. Priceless.

7. Bottles and walk-offs

After a long and drawn out series, the 1970-71 encounter went down to a decider at Melbourne. In a tight match, England’s John Snow was warned for short-pitched bowling after striking Terry Jenner on the head. The crowd didn’t like it either and Snow was grabbed by a spectator and bottles and cans were thrown at him. England captain Ray Illingworth responded by leading his side from the field. They returned after warnings from officials, and with their resolve emboldened won by 62 runs to regain the Ashes.

8. Chuckers and draggers

England were thrashed 4-0 in 1958-59, but much of their ire was reserved for what they considered the illegality of some of the bowlers they faced – throwing in the case of Ian Meckiff and dragging by the ‘Blond Giant’ Gordon Rorke. Later events would suggest that England were right where Meckiff was concerned when he was called for throwing four times in his only over in the first test of the 1963/64 home series with South Africa.

9. Gower goes to the theatre

The 1989 series was a disaster for England and captain David Gower regularly felt the heat of some pretty hostile press conferences. After a dismal third day at Lord’s in the second test, Gower answered a few questions before deciding it was all too much and stood up to announce that he had tickets for the theatre to see Anything Goes, that the taxi was waiting, and then proceeded to walk out stage left leaving a bemused press lost for words. Even though Gower returned after the rest day and scored a hundred, his reign was doomed. As were England.

10. 500-1

Our last controversy would have caused headlines across the World today, but in a more innocent 1981 rarely raised a whimper. With England crashing to seeming defeat at Headingley in 1981,Dennis Lillee and Rod Marsh couldn’t resist the odds of 500/1 for the England win. Then came the heroics of Botham and Willis, which led England to the most unlikeliest of victories. Rightfully, no-one questioned the efforts of Lillee and Marsh though who both battled to the end in an attempt to lose their stake.

Where next?

Heroes: Douglas Jardine

Heroes: Dennis Lillee

Heroes: David Gower

Ashes 100-1: 43 - All-time England Ashes XI: All-rounder

 
Being a child of the late 1970s and 1980s, the English all-rounder that immediately springs to mind for an all-time England Ashes XI is that hammer of the Aussies - Ian Botham. But before we come to Beefy, there are a handful of other English all-rounders who warrant consideration.

When you read the reports of the time about the 1981 Ashes Series where Botham almost single-handedly ensured that the Ashes stayed in English hands, a number of writers compared Botham's quickfire hundreds at Headingley and Old Trafford in terms of brutality to Gilbert Jessop.

Even as a nine year old this piqued our interest to find out more about Jessop. We quickly learnt that like Botham in 1981, Jessop had turned an Ashes test match England's way pretty much on his own. in The Oval test of 1902, Jessop came to the crease with England 48 for five chasing 263 for the win and proceeded to make 104 out of 139 in 75 minutes, taking England to an improbable victory. However, this was the only time that Jessop's star really shone in test cricket despite many similar feats at county level.

The next all-rounder has much more claim to be England's greatest despite playing his first test as a number 11 (indeed he was at the crease when England hit the winning runs in Jessop's test). The legendary Yorkshireman Wilfred Rhodes is the highest wicket taker ever in first-class cricket with 4204 victims. By the time he retired after a long and glittering career he had become Jack Hobbs' test opening partner. In Ashes tests, Rhodes snared 109 victims in 41 tests at 24 and hit 1706 runs at 31 including one hundred (179 at Melbourne in 1912).  Even if he doesn't get the nod here then Rhodes will come into the frame again when we look at the spinners.

The third candidate is Tony Grieg. Like Botham, the South African born all-rounder was a larger than life character who thrived on standing toe to toe with the Australians. In 1974/75, England were outgunned, outclassed and undone by the pace of Thomson and Lillee, but Grieg was uncowed as evidenced by his brave hundred at Brisbane where he riled the Australian bowlers by signalling his own boundaries. In all Grieg played in 20 Ashes tests, hitting 1244 runs at 36.58 and taking 42 wickets at 38.03 with his cunning brand of medium pace. Unlike Botham and the final candidate, Grieg was also a decent captain.

Post-Botham, we lost count of the number of so-called English all-rounders who were tagged as the 'New Botham', but it wasn't until the emergence of Andrew Flintoff that a true successor presented himself. Due to injury, Freddie had to wait until 2005 to make his Ashes bow, but he made up for lost time by being the man of the series with 402 runs and 24 wickets and putting in a Bothamesque performance in the infamous Edgbaston test in particular. Things didn't go so well of course, when Flintoff led England to a 5-0 defeat in 2006/07. He bounced back in 2009 when he may have played a peripheral role in the series, but he did provide crucial flashes of brilliance such as on the final morning at Lord's and in his run out of Ponting at The Oval. In all, Flintoff played 14 tests against the Australians and hit 856 runs at 34.24 and took 43 wickets at 36.11.

But it is Botham that stands out from the crowd. From the moment he took five wickets on debut at Trent Bridge in 1977, Botham put in a series of inspirational performances whenever the Baggy Green came into view. In all, he played in seven Ashes series, winning five and it was Botham who invariably played the crucial innings or took the vital wickets that took England past the winning post. In addition to his well-documented heroics of 1981, Botham took 31 wickets in the 1985 series and hit a hundred at Brisbane and took a five for at Melbourne in the two wins in the 1986/87 series. In all, he took 128 Ashes wickets (he took another 19 in the 1979/80 series where the Ashes weren't at stake) at 28.04 and took seven five fors. In addition, he hit three hundreds (four if you include the one at Melbourne in the aforementioned 1979/80 series) and scored 1486 runs at 29.13. 

For his ability to win test matches single-handedly and his all-round brilliance and dominant personality, there is only one possibility for the all-rounder position in an all-time England Ashes XI and that is IT Botham. 

Where next?

Botham's Ashes

10 reasons why Andrew Flintoff was a true England great 

All-time England Ashes XI: The Openers, Number 3, 4 and 5

See Ian Botham stink the place out in Sky's Ashes video

Great mean and moody stares from Colly and a (nearly) convincing roar by Strauss, but Ian Botham is certainly no Kenneth Branagh.

See Branagh's finest moment as he delivers the pre-Battle of Agincourt speech as Henry V below - enough to sir the blood of any Englishman:

 

Ashes 100-1: 77 - Geoff Boycott's glorious comeback

 
For number 77 in our Ashes 100-1 countdown we go back to the 1977 series in England, which was played out against the background of the Packer affair, news of which broke as the tourists arrived. An Australian side beset by infighting and disharmony was beaten 3-1 by an England team captained by Mike Brearley, who had replaced Tony Grieg at the helm after the latter was sacked for his heavy involvement with Packer.

Other than Packer and the impending arrival of World Series Cricket, the two other notable aspects of the series was the test debut of a certain Ian Botham, who made an immediate impact taking a five for in his first match in the third test at Trent Bridge. Botham was to make an even bigger impression four years later - see 81 - Botham's Ashes.

But for us (and certainly our father), the most memorable aspect of the 1977 series was the return of Geoff Boycott to the England side after a self-imposed three year hiatus. Boycott the player was pretty much the same as Boycott the commentator - difficult to work with, self-obsessed, did things his own way but at times brilliant.

He made his comeback at Trent Bridge and achieved the feat of batting on all five days of the match. In typical Boycott style, he made an inauspicious start running out local hero Derek Randall as England slipped to 82 for five. Then in a double hundred partnership with Alan Knott, Boycott scored 107 off 315 balls and then topped it off with an unbeaten 80 in the second innings as England won by seven wickets.

Even better was to follow in the next test match at Boycott's home ground of Headingley where he reached the landmark of 100 first-class hundreds with a mammoth innings of 191. England won by an innings and the Ashes had been regained. The final test at The Oval was marred by rain and Boycott finished the series with 442 runs from five innings at a phenomenal average of 147.33. The Reverse Sweep's father is still going on about it to this day.

Where next?

Heroes & Zeroes: Bob Willis

Heroes & Zeroes: David Gower

Heroes & Zeroes: Douglas Jardine

 

Ashes 100-1: 81 - Botham's Ashes

In many respects, Australia could consider themselves very unlucky to lose the 1981 Ashes. They had the outstanding batsman of the series in Allan Border, who hit two centuries and was the only player from either side (who played more than two tests in the rubber) to have a batting average over 40 (Border's was 59.22).

Australia also had the two leading wicket takers in Terry Alderman (42 at 21.26) and Dennis Lillee (39 at 22.30). Having won the first test at Trent Bridge and then seen off Ian Botham's troubled reign as England skipper at Lord's (where Botham bagged a pair in a draw), Australia looked set to go two-nil up at Headingley, but Botham and Bob Willis had different ideas.

When England's seventh second innings wicket fell, they were still 92 runs away from avoiding an innings defeat. Indeed they were such outsiders that in these more innocent times, Lillee and Rod Marsh took odds of 500/1 to bet on an England win. But Botham had been unburdened by the loss of the captaincy and decided that if England were to lose they would go out all guns blazing. Graham Dilley (56 off 75) and Chris Old (29 off 31) provided the support as Botham (149 off 148), smashed England into a 129 run lead.

Now it was Willis' turn. Having been deprived of the new ball by the shrewd England captain Mike Brearley (whose man-management of Botham was impeccable) and with his place in the side at risk, Willis bowled with controlled fury and menace to inspire an Australian collapse from 56 for 1 to 111 all out and take career best figures of eight for 43. Incredibly, England had won by 18 runs and like many awe struck young schoolboys watching at the time, the Reverse Sweep's addiction to the sport and the Ashes in particular had been sealed.

Botham went on to deprive Australia again in the next test at Edgbaston, where his spell of five for one from 28 balls stole the match for England by 29 runs after the Australians had looked like winning a low scoring encounter. Then in the following test at Old Trafford, Botham sealed the Ashes for England with a stupendous 118 from 102 balls with six massive sixes. A draw at the Oval meant England triumphed 3-1, which no doubt left the Australians asked "how did that happen?" 

Botham's stats for the series were 399 runs at 36.27 and 34 wickets at 20.58, which meant he was England's leading run scorer and wicket taker. He also took 12 catches. Botham went on to achieve many other notable feats and was to terrorise the Australians on numerous other occasions, but 1981 was his zenith and sparked an interest in cricket in football obsessed England that was not to be repeated until 2005.

Ashes 100-1: 83 - Weakened England put to the sword in 1982/83

In number 85 of our Ashes 100-1 countdown, Blaise Murphet looked back to 1985 when an Australian team weakened by the desertion of several key players to a rebel tour of South Africa was slain by David Gower's talented England side.

Back in 1982-83, the shoe was on the other foot, as several England players were serving three year bans for participating in the first of a series of rebel tours to South Africa in the 1980's. Three years doesn't seem that long for deserting your country and legitimising the vile Apartheid regime for a few extra rand, but that was the fate of players like Graham Gooch, Geoff Boycott, Wayne Larkins, John Emburey, Alan Knott and Derek Underwood.

Facing an Australian side that included older heroes like Greg Chappell, Dennis Lillee (although he only played one test due to injury), Rodney Marsh and Jeff Thomson, as well as younger stars like Allan Border, Kim Hughes, Geoff Lawson and David Hookes, a weakened England were always going to be up against it.

Without Gooch, England rarely got a good start with the bat and only David Gower and Derek Randall scored centuries and those two plus Allan Lamb were the only Englishmen to average over 40 for the series. As usual captain Bob Willis gave his all and took 18 wickets at 27, but none of the other bowlers shined with Ian Botham, the hero of 1981, having a disappointing series with bat and ball.

In contrast, Hughes, Chappell, Hookes, Border and Kepler Wessels all averaged over 40 for Australia with the bat whilst Thomson took 22 wickets at just under 19 and Geoff Lawson had 30 victims at 20 runs apiece.

After a draw at Perth, Australia secured comfortable wins at Brisbane and Adelaide, before an absolute humdinger of a test at Melbourne. In a finish reminiscent of Edgbaston in 2005, Australia looked like finishing some way short of their victory target of 292 when they slipped to 218 for nine. But Border and Thomson had other ideas and slowly but surely they knocked off the runs they needed for victory. By the close of play on the fourth day they only needed 37 for victory.

The pattern continued on the final morning and with just four runs needed, Australia looked set for a famous win. Then Botham induced an edge from Thomson. It should have been a straightforward catch for Chris Tavare, but he fumbled it and the ball spooned into the air behind him where a wide awake Geoff Miller snaffled the chance - see video.

Unfortunately for England, they couldn't repeat the trick in the final test at Sydney where a win would have enabled them to retain the Ashes. Set a mammoth 460 to win in just over a day, England played out time with nightwatchman Eddie Hemmings scoring 95. The Ashes were back in the hands of Australia and a proportion of the blame lay at the feet of Gooch and the other money-grabbing rebels.