The Reverse Sweep

India: Tigers at home; pussies away

Whilst Brad Haddin would do well to look at his own form before casting aspersions on the fragility or otherwise of India he may have a point - albeit a crass and clumsily made one. Just by crunching a few numbers it is plain to see that whilst India have been the fiercest of tigers in the subcontinent over the past couple of years they are the meekest and most submissive of pussy cats when they play overseas.

 

When India ascended to the number one spot in the Test rankings many said that the tours to South Africa, England and Australia would tell us whether that lofty status was justified. Whilst they emerged with a creditable draw against the Proteas they have lost six out of six thus far in England and Australia. Here are a few numbers that illustrate why:

 

263

India's average total in their last 21 completed or declared innings in overseas Tests taking in tours to South Africa, West Indies, England and now Australia. During this time they have only reached 400 twice - in the second innings at Centurion and Sydney - and both ultimately proved futile as India still lost by an innings each time. Their overall record in these 12 Tests is won two, lost seven (including four by an innings) and drawn three and they have lost the last six by heavy margins. 

 

461

By contrast, India's average total in their last 19 completed or declared innings on the subcontinent taking in home series against Sri Lanka, Australia, New Zealand and West Indies plus trips to Bangladesh and Sri Lanka is almost 200 runs higher. They topped 700 twice (both against Sri Lanka) and fared much better in these 16 Tests with 11 wins, 1 defeat and 4 draws. 

 

30.23

Combined batting average of India's top seven in the last four overseas series (see full list). The tale of woe is stark with Gambhir (average 32), Laxman (31), Dhoni (29), Raina (23), Sehwag (21) and Kohli (13) all failing to justify their talent and high billing. Only Tendulkar (52) and Dravid (45) can hold their heads high and these two are also the only centurions with Dravid hitting four and Tendulkar two. The other batsmen who have filled the top seven positions for India on these four tours have failed to record even one century in their combined 122 visits to the crease.

 

40.58

The combined bowling average for the aformentioned four tours with only Zaheer Khan (23) and Praveen Kumar (26) registering averages below 36. The rest of the bowlers have been practically rendered impotent with Ishant Sharma (37 - despite a successful tour of the Caribbean), Harbhajan (36), Sreesanth (51), Amit Mishra (62), Umesh Yadav (43) and Ravichandran Ashwin (75) all registering averages that their batting colleagues would yearn for. The collective strike rate is even more staggeringly bad with each wicket coming at a crippling 72 deliveries. Opposing batsmen have feasted on pickings this easy with Alastair Cook, Kevin Pietersen, Ian Bell and Jacques Kallis all registering double hundreds and in Michael Clarke's case a triple hundred.

 

33

The number of Test innings since an Indian opener other than Dravid (who scored tons at Trent Bridge and The Oval as an emergency opener) last scored a hundred. You have to go all the way back to the 1st Test at Ahmedabad at the start of November 2010 when Sehwag struck a characteristically brutal 173 off 199 balls against New Zealand. Since then Sehwag has gone 22 Test innings without reaching three figures whilst regular partner Gambhir's famine is a positively biblical 35 innings.

 

0

The number of Test series India has won In Australia, a statistic that will remain unchanged for at least another four years following defeats in Melbourne and Sydney. 

 

As such it would be hardly surprising if confidence is not high in the Indian camp ahead of the 3rd Test on a fast and bouncy WACA track tomorrow.

Where next?

Annus mirabilis: The best Test XI of 2011

Annus horribilis: The Worst Test XI of 2011

2nd Test: Australia vs India - India marks out of 10

2nd Test: Australia vs India - Australia marks out of 10

Read our Cricket Review of 2011

India's batting line-up and Goebbels's big lie

Check out all our Reverse Sweep cricket heroes and zeroes 

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

Annus horribilis: the worst Test XI of 2011

We've already selected our best Test XI of 2011, but perhaps this collection of cricketers who suffered an annus horribilis in the ultimate form of the game in 2011 should provoke much more hilarity:

Phil Hughes (404 runs at 26.93): Despite a hundred against Sri Lanka and an attractive 80 odd in Johannesburg, 2011 was a horrendous year for Australia’s erstwhile Test opener. His year went from bad to worse with the four out of four caught Guptill bowled Martin dismissals in the series with New Zealand likely to prove his international cricket epitaph. Some get sent to Switzerland when their condition is terminal, Hughes has been sent to Worcestershire instead to convalesce.

Gautam Gambhir (470 runs at 31.33): We could just as easily have picked Virender Sehwag who actually had a lower average than his opening partner in 2011 and only had a top Test score of 67, but that seemed to border on the sacrilegious so Gambhir it is. No Test hundreds and a year sprinkled with injury, injudicious shots, a growing tentativeness outside off-stump and a lack of weddings to attend. The ghastliness of his year was summed up when he suffered concussion when failing to catch Kevin Pietersen. In truth, Gambhir looked concussed most times he came to the crease in Tests in 2011.

Ramnaresh Sarwan (83 runs at 10.37): A traumatic year for the experienced Sarwan with a top score of 23 and just 83 runs from his eight visits to the crease preceding his inevitable axing. With tyros such as Darren Bravo and Kirk Edwards shining it seems unlikely that the cultured Sarwan will be sighted in the maroon West Indian cap again.  

Mahela Jayawardene (517 runs at 24.61): It may have been the year of his 10,000th Test run and a sparkling century in the World Cup Final, but in terms of Test cricket it was an annus horribilis for the silky smooth Jayawardene with just one hundred in ten Tests mirroring his country’s slide down the rankings. Have the eyes gone?

Jesse Ryder (97 runs at 12.12): Three ducks and just 97 runs in eight innings meant that 2011 was a year when the larger than life Kiwi ate more pies, sunk more tinnies and wore more inches around his generous waist than he scored Test runs.

Suresh Raina (337 runs at 25.92): Rarely has an international cricketer looked more uncomfortable against the short ball than Raina did in England last summer. So much so that by the end of the series, England barely bothered celebrating his inevitably quick demise each time he strode to the wicket.

Brad Haddin (335 runs at 20.93): A year in which the iron-gloved keeper was for once better behind the stumps than he was in front of them – not that there was any discernible improvement in his shoddy keeping. With the bat there were several reckless and irresponsible dismissals none more so than in the ignominious 2nd innings collapses in Cape Town and Hobart. A nation prays that Tim Paine’s hands make the swiftest of recoveries.

Harbhajan Singh (20 wickets at 38.05): He may have been part of the World Cup winning side, but 2011 saw his decline as a Test match bowler accelerate until injury and the emergence of Ashwin consigned him to the sidelines. Having his car robbed in December just about summed up a dismal year for the supposed Turbanator.

Mitchell Johnson (13 wickets at 56.61): Johnson is not a figure of ridicule for nothing – just look at that bowling average, which is even worse when his strike rate in 2011 of a wicket every 92 deliveries is taken into account. Outbowled by an 18 year old debutant with just a handful of first-class appearances in Johannesburg, injury and the emergence of James Pattinson, the aforementioned Patrick Cummins and a rejuvenated Ben Hilfenhaus means that Johnson should have plenty of time to rest that injured foot.

Sreesanth (13 wickets at 52.76): Speaking of figures of ridicule, Sreesanth was the least impressive of an impotent Indian bowling line-up in England over the summer. Doesn’t take many wickets, leaks runs at over four runs an over and seems to have lost any semblance of pace. Likely to join his best pal Harbhajan on the sidelines for some time and perhaps forever.

Kemar Roach (7 wickets at 55.14): If you thought Johnson’s strike rate of 92 was bad try Roach’s performance of a wicket every 99 deliveries in 2011. Whilst there’s no doubting his talent, the suggestions of some that he should replace captain Darren Sammy in the West Indian Test XI seem at best misplaced and at worst downright foolish.

Finally, a special mention to our 12th man - RP Singh who was called up from the beach to replace the injured Zaheer Khan in England and subsequently looked a shadow (albeit twice the side and half the speed) of the bowler who performed so well four years earlier when he played in the final match of the series at The Oval and took 0/134.

Where next?

The worst Test XI of 2010

The best Test XI of 2011

The best Test XI of 2010

Read our Cricket Review of 2011

Check out all our Reverse Sweep cricket heroes and zeroes

Check out some of our other Cricket XIs: They also played cricket, Rugger Buggers, Cricketing Criminals , A team of cricketers that died young, The Worst Australia Ashes XI of the last 30 years, The Worst England Ashes XI of the last 30 years  

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Shane Warne gets burnt, Harbhajan Singh gets robbed: Conspiracy or coincidence?

At first when we heard that Shane Warne had burnt his hand we just thought that he had either overdone the self-tan or had an accident with one of Elizabeth Hurley's hot wax treatments.

We didn't for one minute believe the official explanation that Warne had hurt himself cooking as by the looks of him he clearly doesn't eat. But nothing too sinister appeared to be afoot.

Then we heard that Harbhajan Singh had been robbed. On the same day.

The two events are either completely unconnected or there is a malicious and uncontrollable perpetrator with an almighty grudge against former (sorry Harbhajan) international spin bowlers.

Rumours that Anil Kumble, Muttiah Muralitharan and rather amusingly Xavier Doherty have been put under police protection could not be substantiated at the time of going to press.

Where next?

Shane Warne comes out

Farewell and a tribute (of sorts) to Shane Warne

Seven reasons why the Poms love Shane Warne

India have found some bowlers

Cricket zeroes: Channel 9's Commentary Team

Check out all our Reverse Sweep cricket heroes and zeroes 

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep 

India have found some bowlers

As India stumbled from heavy defeat to even heavier defeat during a traumatic summer in England one thing seemed very clear: the bowling cupboard was emptier than the contents of Wayne Rooney's head.

With Zaheer Khan injured, Harbhajan way past his best and Ishant Sharma even more inconsistent than usual, it was left to the wholehearted but lacking in pace Praveen Kumar to lead the attack. 

But after three Tests against an improving but brittle West Indies despair has turned into optimism as suddenly the cupboard is filling up faster than the supermarket shelves at Waitrose ahead of Christmas.

Harbhajan has finally been put out to pasture and Ravichandran Ashwin and Pragyan Ojha collected 42 wickets at 23 between them in the three Tests against the boys from the Caribbean.

They've also discovered that rariry of rarities in a country of over a billion souls - not one but two promising fast bowlers. The emergence of Umesh Yadav and Varun Aaron means that the likes of Sreesanth and Munaf Patel will be able to concentrate on the IPL and that RP Singh can return to the beach from whence he was summoned during the English expedition.

With Praveen returning from a well-earned rest, Zaheer (hopefully) from injury and Ishant fired up by the prospect of finishing Ricky Ponting's Test career, India suddenly look a different proposition.

The series against a transitional Australia under its new regime looks a thrilling prospect.

Where next?

Mumbai's thrilling final ball draw shows the true value of Test cricket

Sachin Tendulkar's 99.94

Virat Kohli - The (Little) Master's Apprentice

Who are cricket's likely future greats?

Check out all our Reverse Sweep cricket heroes and zeroes 

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

What has Praveen Kumar done wrong?

Most of the reaction to the announcement of the Indian squad for the 1st Test against West Indies centres around the absence of Harbhajan Singh, who has been left out of the squad following injury and a disappointing tour of England.

We are not surprised that Harbhajan has been left - he was shockingly bad at Lord's and Trent Bridge and his decline as a bowler has been going on for some time, so it makes perfect sense to give R Ashwin - so impressive in the recent series with England - a chance to cement a place in the Test side.

We were surprised to see that Praveen Kumar has been left out though. Kumar was India's lone star with the ball in England and troubled most of the top order despite his lack of pace with his immaculate control and ability to move the ball either way.

We can only presume that he is carrying an injury - although the fact that he played the day after in the T20 game against England suggests he is fine.

A bit of a strange one then...

Where next?

India v England ODI series: England marks out of 10

Virat Kohli - The (Little) Master's Apprentice

Mahendra Singh Dhoni is the King of Cool

Sri Lanka know what they had and they know that it has gone

Check out all our other Reverse Sweep cricket heroes and zeroes 

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England v India: India series marks out of 10

Gautam Gambhir – 2 (102 runs at 17.00): Missed Trent Bridge because of injury and suffered concussion when making a complete mess of holding on to a skier from KP at The Oval. In between his batting against the short ball bordered on the shambolic making a mockery of a Test average of over 50.

Virender Sehwag – 2 (41 runs at 10.25): Was rushed back from his shoulder operation prematurely and bagged a king pair at Edgbaston. His brief second innings cameo at The Oval couldn’t hide the fact that he looked unfit and completely disinterested. 

Abinhav Mukund – 3 (64 runs at 16.00): Stood in for Sehwag in the first two Tests and looked a decent prospect when compiling 49 at Lord’s. Needs to work on his technique against the short ball and would be well advised to book into a masterclass from Dravid.

Rahul Dravid – 9 (461 runs at 76.83): Magnificent. Foisted into an openers role he despises from where he scored two brilliant hundreds – including becoming only the third Indian to carry his bat in the first innings at The Oval. Added a third hundred from his customary role as first drop at Lord’s and scored 23% of India’s runs in the series – it would have been even more but for a couple of dodgy umpiring decisions. Looked a better keeper than his captain when Dhoni had a bowl at Lord’s.

Sachin Tendulkar – 6 (273 runs at 34.12): Has the Little Master ever looked so uncomfortable on a cricket field? England’s pacemen bowled brilliantly to him and it wasn’t until the final day of the series that we saw close to the real Tendulkar. That 100th hundred eluded him, but don’t be surprised to see the milestone reached in the forthcoming ODI series.

VVS Laxman – 4 (182 runs at 22.75): A huge disappointment. Got a few starts and reached 50 twice but was unable to go on each time. Threw his wicket away a couple of times after he’d played himself in (most shockingly in the first innings at Edgbaston) and was castled twice by a couple of Anderson jaffas.

Suresh Raina – 2 (105 runs at 13.12, 4 wickets at 62.75): Apart from a battling 78 at Lord’s, Raina scored just 27 runs in his other seven innings and concluded the series with a tortuous pair at The Oval that spanned 42 excruciating balls. Everyone knew before the series that he would struggle against the short ball, but the reality was even worse. At least looked like he was trying in the field.

Yuvraj Singh – 4 (70 runs at 35.00, 1 wicket at 52.00): Played just the one match at Trent Bridge and rode some early good fortune to hit an impressive 62 in the first innings before becoming another victim of the short ball in the second. Injury ruled him out of the rest of the series thereafter.

Mahendra Singh Dhoni – 3 (220 runs at 31.42, 13 catches): His previously impressive record of not losing a series as captain was shattered. Disappointed with the bat – two defiant fifties at Edgbaston apart, looked like an amateur with the gloves and made several strange bowling changes and field placings.

Harbhajan Singh – 1 (2 wickets at 143.50, 58 runs at 14.50): Disastrous. Took only two wickets in the series and went at over four runs per over and was then promptly injured at Trent Bridge.

Amit Mishra – 4 (3 wickets at 106.66, 153 runs at 38.25): Looked more of a batsman than a bowler especially at The Oval where he featured in India’s highest partnership of the series with Tendulkar. His bowling lacked variety and thought, and like Harbhajan went at around four runs per over.

Praveen Kumar – 7 (15 wickets at 29.53, 110 runs at 18.33): Consistently impressed with the ball, threw himself around in the field and enjoyed himself with the bat – he hit the most sixes on either side. The only Indian bowler who can hold his head up high – what he lacks in pace he more than makes up for with know-how.

Ishant Sharma – 4 (11 wickets at 58.18, 24 runs at 4.00): Frustratingly inconsistent with the ball – his spell on the fourth morning at Lord’s was sensational and nearly turned the match India’s way. But a series bowling average approaching 60 and a strike rate of a wicket every 95 balls tells a pretty woeful story.

Sreesanth – 3 (8 wickets at 61.62, 18 runs at 4.50): Mr four ball disappointed after bursting into the series on the first day at Trent Bridge where he helped reduce England to 124 for eight. Down on pace and lacking the fire of the 2007 model.

Zaheer Khan – 4 (2 wickets at 9.00): For half of the first day at the series it looked like Zaheer was set to repeat his decisive role from 2007 snaring both openers and causing Trott and Pietersen no end of problems. Then after 13.3 overs it was all over and so as it turned out were India’s hopes.

RP Singh – 1 (0 wickets for 118 runs, 25 runs at 12.50): Atrocious. Came in for the injured Kumar at The Oval and extended his run without a Test wicket to 71 overs and 367 runs, put in a comical display in the field and left a bemused Munaf Patel (who unlike Singh had been named in the original squad) looking on from the sidelines wondering what he had done wrong.

Where next?

England v India: England series marks out of 10

4th Test: The Oval - England marks out of 10

3rd Test: Edgbaston - India marks out of 10

3rd Test: Edgbaston - England marks out of 10

2nd Test: Trent Bridge - India marks out of 10

2nd Test: Trent Bridge - England marks out of 10

1st Test: Lord's - England marks out of 10

1st Test: Lord's - India marks out of 10

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2nd Test: Trent Bridge - India marks out of 10

Abinhav Mukund - 2: Lucky to escape a king pair and all at sea against the short ball as evidenced by his dismissal in the 2nd innings. The return of Virender Sehwag can't come quick enough for India.

Rahul Dravid - 9: His second successive hundred had put India in the driving seat before Broad's passable Ian Botham impersonation. Early dismissal in the 2nd innings made England unstoppable.

VVS Laxman - 7: Another unconverted fifty from the stylish Laxman before he was cleaned up by a pearler from Anderson second time around.

Sachin Tendulkar - 6: Dreadful shot to be dismissed in the 1st innings but looked in sublime form as India collapsed in the second innings. Still looking for that elusive 100th hundred.

Suresh Raina - 2: After his battling performance at Lord's, Raina really struggled against the short ball. Maybe that explained his soft dismissal in the 1st innings?

Yuvraj Singh - 6: Made the most of an early drop to form what looked like being a decisive partnership with Dravid before being the first victim of Broad's hat-trick. Another to fall to the short-ball in the 2nd innings.

MS Dhoni - 2: Full marks for his wonderful sporting gesture to recall Bell to the crease, but it couldn't hide some sloppy keeping, woeful captaincy and dreadful form with the bat.

Harbhajan Singh - 3: Another Test to forget for Harbhajan, who appears to be a fading force - even if injury didn't help. Lusty hitting in the 2nd innings delayed England's triumph by a few overs.

Praveen Kumar - 7: The pick of India's bowlers again and fully deserved his seven wickets. Has remarkable control of the ball, which more than compensates for his lack of pace.

Ishant Sharma - 6: Impressive in helpful conditions on day one, but less so in the 2nd innings when he went at nearly 4.5 runs per over.

Sreesanth - 6: Like Sharma, bowled well on day one and was rewarded with three wickets. Went at over five runs per over in the second though.

Where next?

2nd Test: Trent Bridge - England marks out of 10

1st Test: Lord's - England marks out of 10

1st Test: Lord's - India marks out of 10

The rehabilitation of Stuart Broad

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1st Test: Lord's - India marks out of 10

Abinhav Mukund – 5: Looked a decent prospect in compiling 49 in the 1st innings even if he was visibly uncomfortable against Tremlett’s extra bounce. Castled twice by Broad off inside edges.

Gautum Gambhir – 4: His recent struggles at Test level continued – he has now gone 20 innings without recording a hundred. Another of India’s walking wounded.

Rahul Dravid – 9: Immaculate exhibition of technical excellence to hold India’s 1st innings together, record his 33rd Test hundred and go past Ponting to become the second highest run scorer in Tests. Looked as good, if not better, than his skipper behind the stumps.

Sachin Tendulkar – 5: Failed in his final attempt to get on the Lord’s honours board thanks to some excellent England bowling that first becalmed him in each innings and then stole his wicket.

VVS Laxman – 5: Gifted his wicket in the 1st innings and then struck an attractive fifty on the final day before again giving it away with a lazy pull.

Suresh Raina – 6: Bounced back well from a 1st innings duck to compile a brave 78 second time around to justify his inclusion ahead of Yuvraj.

MS Dhoni – 4: Fell both times to Tremlett with the second new ball – the first dismissal was tentative and the second was shocking given his side were fighting to save the game. Not at his best behind the stumps and even gave himself 10 overs with the ball. Rumours that he also makes the tea in the dressing room are so far unfounded.

Harbhajan Singh – 3: A game to forget for Bhaji. Went at more than four runs an over in the 1st innings, only took one wicket in the match and scored 0 and 12.

Praveen Kumar – 8: He may not be the quickest, but Kumar showed his mastery of swing with a five wicket haul in the 1st innings. His performance was all the more impressive given Zaheer’s injury. He may find conditions at Trent Bridge to his liking.

Zaheer Khan – 5: Won his first duel with the England openers and had both Trott and KP in real trouble before departing with a hamstring injury. India’s chances of fighting back in the series probably depend on the timing of his return.

Ishant Sharma – 6: Innocuous in the 1st innings, but absolutely brilliant in his pre-lunch spell on Sunday when he brought India roaring back into the game. 

Where next?

1st Test: Lord's - England marks out of 10

The rehabilitation of Stuart Broad

Kevin Pietersen, Wally Hammond, Len Hutton and Test double hundreds

Zaheer Khan: He came, he saw, he conquered....he got injured

Cricket heroes: Henry Blofeld

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England v India: 1st Test, Lord's - Preview

With all due respect to South Africa, this series is the real clash of the titans to see who is the best current Test side. England have won five series on the bounce and India are yet to lose a Test rubber under the leadership of MS Dhoni – so something has to give.

England and India are notoriously slow starters, so staging the 1st Test of the series on a Lord’s featherbed may suit both teams as they begin to feel each other out. However, with India having had so little time to prepare on these shores, England may come to regret not staging this Test at Trent Bridge or Old Trafford.

Intriguing is the word that comes most to mind when assessing this match. Firstly, it is the 2000th Test match (prompting the ridiculous ICC XI picked by the public – Kapil Dev instead of Sobers? Sehwag or Gavaskar instead of Hobbs?). Then there is the small matter of Sachin Tendulkar aiming for his 100th international hundred. And if that wasn’t enough, there is the presence of Duncan Fletcher as Indian coach.

The time for all the talking is nearly over, let the extravaganza begin.

Likely line-ups

It’s Broad or Bresnan for England – we’d opt for the latter to reunite the four man attack who were so impressive during the innings victories at Melbourne and Sydney.

India’s final XI is less clear given Sehwag’s injury and the absence of Tendulkar and Zaheer Khan from the squad that recently beat the West Indies. With Suresh Raina excelling in the Caribbean and hitting a hundred in the warm-up match at Taunton, we expect him to bat at six, which means it is a straight choice between Yuvraj and Abhinav Mukund for the final batting spot.

Ishant Sharma was a revelation in the Caribbean and will open the bowling with Zaheer. Munaf Patel or Praveen Kumar will join the two spearheads and Harbhajan in India’s four man attack.

Look out for…

Kevin Pietersen likes the big occasion and it doesn’t get much bigger than this – the 2000th Test against the best side in the world at Lord’s. Don’t be surprised if KP marks the occasion with a sparkling hundred.

The battle between Zaheer and Andrew Strauss promises to be one to watch, but it’s difficult to look past Sachin Tendulkar’s quest to hit his 100th hundred and finally get on that Lord’s honours board.

Previously at Lord’s

2007 – Match drawn

A battling 76 not out from Dhoni and bad weather on the final day allowed India to escape by the skin of their teeth with just one wicket left for England to get in the first game of a series India went on to win 1-0.

2002 – England won by 170 runs

A captain’s knock of 155 by Nasser Hussain laid the platform before the bowlers earned England a big first innings lead. Centuries by Michael Vaughan and John Crawley helped set India an impossible target of 568, which they fell well short of, but not before the hitherto unsung Ajit Agarkar lit up Lord’s with this only Test hundred.

1990 – England won by 247 runs

Graham Gooch made history with 333 and 123 as India were trounced at Lord’s after England piled up 653 for four declared in their first innings. India didn’t go down without a fight though with Mohammad Azharuddin hitting a sparklingly beautiful hundred and Kapil Dev hitting four successive sixes to save the follow on.

Prediction

The weather and the pitch will probably lead to a stalemate in this Test, but we go for England to win what promises to be a classic and close series 2-1.

Where next?

Cricket Zeroes: Graham Gooch

Strauss’s Somerset stint is a sad indictment of county cricket

Duncan Fletcher's secret mission as India's coach

Mahendra Singh Dhoni - A born leader

Historic India-Pakistan summit flounders due to cricket diplomacy

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Check out all our Reverse Sweep cricket heroes and zeroes

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Our best XI of the 2011 World Cup

 
As the celebrations in India doubtless continue, it is time to select our Reverse Sweep World Cup 2011 XI based on performances over the six years weeks of the tournament:

Virender Sehwag (380 runs at 47.50, 1 100, 1 50, SR 122.58)

He may not have scored as many as others, but the impact of his runs was the most dramatic. In our view, Sehwag’s whirlwind cameo in the semi-final in the end proved the difference between the sides.

Tillakaratne Dilshan (500 runs at 62.50, 2 100s, 2 50s, SR 90.74; 8 wickets at 15.75 ER 4.06)

The tournament’s leading run scorer takes his place as the apprentice in our opening partnership to Sehwag’s sorcerer. Dilshan’s bowling was more than useful too – just ask Andrew Strauss – and he ended up with only one fewer wicket and a better economy rate than Harbhajan Singh.

Sachin Tendulkar (482 runs at 53.55, 2 100s, 2 50s, SR 91.98)

Is it sacrilegious to push the Little Master down the order to accommodate our choice of opening partnership? Maybe, but Tendulkar is clearly good enough to bat anywhere and is the ultimate team man. His longevity is astounding.

Kumar Sangakkara (465 runs at 93.00, 1 100, 3 50s, SR 83.78)

King Kumar was serenity personified throughout the tournament and he captains our side (although it was a wrench to leave out Dhoni). Is there a more underrated batsman in world cricket?

Mahela Jayawardene (304 runs at 50.66, 2 100s, 1 50, SR 100.00)

His impeccable hundred in the final leapfrogged Jayawardene above AB De Villiers in our XI. A great strike rate and but for the prolific Sri Lankan top three restricting his time at the crease, would have scored more runs in the tournament.

Yuvraj Singh (362 runs at 90.50, 1 100, 4 50s, SR 90.50; 15 wickets at 25.13, ER 5.02)

Lazarus. A cricketer reborn. And a decent pick as the player of the tournament. Yuvraj left his annus horribilis of 2010 behind to take the World Cup by the scruff of the neck. Without his masterful composure in the quarter-final against Australia, India would have suffered an ignominious exit. Also proved to be more than the pie chucker he was famously tagged by Kevin Pietersen.

Shahid Afridi (21 wickets at 12.85, ER 3.62; 84 runs at 12.00)

His batting was dire, but his excitable captaincy and devastating leg breaks galvanised Pakistan and propelled them to the semi-finals. He may not have added to his wicket tally in Mohali, but his incredible haul and impressive economy rate mean his selection for this side was automatic.

Dale Steyn (12 wickets at 16.00, ER 4.15)

This lionheart deserved better than to be part of a fragile side that reverted to type in the quarter-final against New Zealand. Others may have opted for Brett Lee, Umar Gul, Tim Southee or Kemar Roach who all had impressive tournaments, but none of these could have turned the game around against India as Steyn did in their group game.

Zaheer Khan (21 wickets at 18.76, ER 4.83)

Tied with Afridi as the tournament’s leading wicket taker and initially carried the Indian attack on his shoulders until his influence had a more positive effect on those around him in the knockout stages. Equally as dangerous at the start, middle and end of an innings and a master of reverse swinging the white ball.

Lasith Malinga (13 wickets at 20.76, ER 5.54)

Malinga was expensive at times, but was always a threat with that unplayable yorker and subtle changes of speed. So close to being the hero in the final when snaring Sehwag and Tendulkar, and always likely to get you a wicket.

Muttiah Muralitharan (15 wickets at 19.40, ER 4.09)

The final proved a match too far for Murali’s battered and bruised body, but even on one leg Murali still had a stunningly influential World Cup and the departing hero just pips Imran Tahir and Ray Price for the final spot in our XI.

Where next?

Who writes Muttiah Muralitharan's scripts?

The renaissance of Yuvraj Singh

An XI of unlikely World Cup heroes and a not so heroic 12th man

Bruce Springsteen was born to run, MS Dhoni was born to lead

Read all our 2011 World Cup posts here

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

Save Shiv

 
West Indies may have scraped into the quarter-finals of the World Cup, but there can’t be much confidence that they will progress any further – even if their next opponents are unpredictable Pakistan.

Darren Sammy’s side should have beaten England and India, having fought back to get into winning positions in both matches.

We’re still scratching our heads here at the Reverse Sweep at the way West Indies handed England a World Cup lifeline – it’s not often that you see a team needing 22 runs off 52 balls losing their last four wickets for two runs.

Yesterday’s defeat against India wasn’t quite as dramatic, but it still featured another horrendous batting collapse.

At 154 for two, West Indies needed less than a run a ball off of the last 20 overs.

It should have been a routine win, but the wicket of Devon Smith precipitated a collapse that saw the last eight wickets fall for just 34 runs.

If Smith had been replaced at the crease by Shivnarine Chanderpaul, then it is likely that West Indies would have sauntered to victory.

But Chanderpaul was inexplicably left out of the side against England and India.

So now the tail effectively starts at five with Kieron Pollard.

Pollard is great against weak attacks when a few quick runs are required in the latter overs, as evidenced by the carnage he inflicted on the Irish and Dutch bowlers.

But he is probably the last batsman you want coming in against Zaheer Khan and Harbhajan Singh when what is required is a no frills approach and plenty of ones and twos.

Chanderpaul provides this in spades; Pollard doesn’t.

Chanderpaul may not have had a great World Cup thus far, but West Indies can ill afford to leave him out.

If they get into a similarly good position against Pakistan, then it is a good bet that Chanderpaul would lead them over the winning line.

The ‘Save Shiv’ campaign starts today.

Where next?

Read about our cricket heroes and zeroes

Heroes: Darren Sammy

Check out our Reverse Sweep XIs

Read all our 2011 World Cup posts here

An XI of unlikely World Cup heroes and a not so heroic 12th man

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

Dear Santa...

 
With Christmas only two days away, we’d been wondering what some of cricket’s big names have asked Santa for.

Thanks to a renegade Elf in Santa's inner sanctum, all can now be revealed:

Shane Watson – the man who Carly Simon once wrote a song about has asked for his bedroom to be covered wall to wall and floor to ceiling with mirrors. He has also asked for a year’s supply of Kleenex. No, not for that! But in anticipation of more tears when he next gets out in the nervous nineties

Michael Clarke– a lifelike Lara Bingle rubber doll and a backbone

Jonathan Trott and Doug Bollinger – appointments with Jacques Kallis’ new hair consultant

Ricky Ponting – the hottest curry sauce of all – anything that means he can get amongst the runs again, but on no account does he want any Beer to go with it

Andrew Strauss- an exclusive membership of the club of Middlesex captains that have won an Ashes series down under. To date, Mike Gatting, Mike Brearley and Pelham Warner are the only members

Steve Smith– Being young he wants to learn, so he has asked Santa for  ‘The Marcus North Tutorial of Batting at Six’ and ‘The Idiots Guide to Leg-Spin by Chris Schofield'

Steve Finn– he had wanted clothes, but after being so expensive at the WACA he managed to bag a sponsorship deal with Prada, so the tall paceman now wants the same radar that Mitchell Johnson used in Perth

Matt Prior & Peter Siddle and Ian Botham & Ian Chappell – a pair of boxing gloves each so that they can take their respective war of words into the ring

Michael Hussey– some more kryptonite to ensure that he can reprise his Superman heroics at Melbourne and Sydney

Kamran Akmal  - A new set of wicketkeeper gloves made entirely out of velcro

Salman Butt, Mohammad Aamer and Mohammad Asif  - A damn good lawyer

Nathan Hauritz – Having got rid of his Australian kit at a recent garage sale, the discarded spinner now wants a fresh new kit from Santa in time to make a comeback in Sydney

MS Dhoni– some cotton wool in which to wrap up Zaheer Khan prior to every test match and particularly for the upcoming tours of England and Australia

Tim Bresnan and Jesse Ryder - a KFC Bargain Bucket per day for life

Ijaz Butt  - World War III

Harbhajan Singh– a set of Matthew Hayden’s cook books so that he can prepare a meal for his good friends Hayden and Andrew Symonds when he tours Australia later this year

Daniel Vettori - the Prime Ministership of New Zealand - well he does everything else. Either that or to wake up on Christmas Day as an Australian - there seems to be a vacancy for a spinner

Ian Bell – a DVD of the Famous Five, so he can prepare for his promotion up the batting order

Paul Collingwood – a guide to the best retirement homes in the North East of England

Mitchell Johnson – Kevin Pietersen’s phone number

Kevin Pietersen - A romantic dinner for two with Mitch

Where next?

Check out all our Reverse Sweep heroes and zeroes featuring Shane Watson, Mitchell Johnson and Nathan Hauritz amongst others

Historic India-Pakistan peace summit flounders on cricket diplomacy

Read KP's Ashes Diary exclusively at the Reverse Sweep

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

India vs New Zealand: 2nd Test: India marks out of 10

 
Yet again India's lack of punch with the ball prevented them from overcoming New Zealand after Harbhajan's second successive hundred had given his side a 122 run lead. With their main strike bowler Zaheer Khan lame, India were more or less impotent, although credit must be given to Brendon McCullum for his double hundred and the likes of Kane Williamson for the sterling support they offered (see New Zealand marks out of 10 here)

India now go into the final test at Nagpur on Saturday under some pressure to record the victory that will give them the series. Here's how they rated at Hyderabad.

Gautam Gambhir - 6: Will have been relieved to have got his first fifty for six tests but will have been furious with himself for the leg side dismissal that wrecked all his hard work.

Virender Sehwag - 8: Missed a hundred in the first innings after an injudicious slog sweep against Vettori led to nothing but the dreaded death rattle. But two fifties in the match is not exactly a poor return.

Rahul Dravid - 6: Outdone by Southee after a typically dogged knock - it's not often you see The Wall missing a straight one.

Sachin Tendulkar - 4: A very strange innings indeed from the Little Master and a dismissal most unbecoming of him. If his poor series continues at Nagpur, expect Vettori's phone to be ringing from all the other international captains on the circuit.

VVS Laxman - 7: A combination of finally playing a Test on his home ground and some tight New Zealand bowling meant that this was one of Laxman's more circumspect innings. Will have been disappointed not to turn his patient 75 into a hundred in front of his adoring public.

Suresh Raina - 3: A dreadful dismissal suggests Raina has a lot of work to do before he can justifiably call himself a test batsman. Chipped in with a couple of wickets in the second innings.

MS Dhoni - 3: Dismissed after being beaten in the flight by Vettori to continue his recent struggles with the bat. Not his most inspiring performance as captain either.

Harbhajan Singh - 9: At this rate they'll be calling him an all-rounder after his second successive hundred made it 295 runs in the series. Bowled excellently in the first innings but his poor recent form returned in the second. Now has 31 wickets at 44.7 from his last nine Tests and he's needed more than 97 balls for each of those wickets. That's not good enough for a bowler of Harbhajan's ability.

Zaheer Khan - 7: Is out of Nagpur with a dodgy groin and without him India were devoid of ideas. Bowled well in the first innings and now has 41 test wickets at 22.92 this year - that is close to superhuman given all of his efforts have been on subcontinental wickets.

Pragyan Ojha - 5: Three wickets in 74 overs tells you everything you need to know. Now has 28 wickets at 46.96 from eight games in 2010 with a woeful strike rate of 100.3. How India miss Kumble. Maybe it is time for Mishra or Ashwin to be given a chance?

Sreesanth - 6: Batted well to help his old sparring partner Harbhajan to his hundred and gave everything with the ball. Is probably already dreaming of bowling on the more receptive South African pitches in a few weeks.

Where next?

1st Test ratings: New Zealand and India

Sachin Tendulkar's Annus Mirabilis

Heroes: VVS Laxman

India vs New Zealand: 1st Test: India marks out of 10

 
We were wrong. We fully expected this series to be utterly one-sided with India winning every game at a canter. But New Zealand regained the powers to punch above their weight, which had been as absent as Zulqarnain Haider in the recent 4-0 ODI reverse in Bangladesh.

For India, there will be disappointment and even some embarrassment at slipping to 15 for five in their second innings, but also pride in their fightback on the last day through the wonderful partnership between Harbhajan and that master of second innings knocks VVS Laxman.

Gautam Gambhir - 3: Missed a straight one from Ryder in the first innings and then got a duck in the second. Has now scored only 86 runs in his last nine test innings and must be close to getting the axe in favour of Murali Vijay.

Virender Sehwag - 8: A typical blazing hundred in the first innings and a failure in the second courtesy of a crazy run out to continue his poor record in the second innings.

Rahul Dravid - 7: Probably cemented his place for South Africa with a first innings hundred, but then ran out Sehwag in the second innings before tamely departing himself.

Sachin Tendulkar - 6: So the man is mortal after all. Will have been disappointed to fall to the innocuous Patel when well set in the first innings and can judge himself a bit unlucky to have played on to Martin in the second. We wouldn't be surprised to see normal service resumed with a big Tendulkar hundred in the second test at Hyderabad.

VVS Laxman - 9: For the third test in a row, Laxman produced a second innings masterpiece with India in trouble. It took a shocking umpiring decision to prevent the silky one from registering a hundred but Laxman can console himself with the fact that he had shepherded India to safety by then. Gets extra marks for getting the runs when they really count.

Suresh Raina - 2: A Test to forget for Raina with scores of 3 and 0 and the manner of his dismissals suggest that he has much work to do on his game if he is to succeed away from the subcontinent.

MS Dhoni - 5: Occupied the crease in the second innings after coming in at 15 for five, but looks to be struggling a bit with his batting at the moment. Brilliant stumping of McCullum was one of the highlights of the match.

Harbhajan Singh - 9: Fantastic performance with the bat to score 69 in the first innings and then his maiden test and first-class hundred in the second to suggest that he could be an all-rounder in the making. Will be disappointed with his bowling however and he must be concerned that in his last 11 Tests he has averaged 44.25 with the ball at a strike rate of 90.5. But those worries can wait for another day for the hero of the hour.

Zaheer Khan - 6: The pitch didn't offer much assistance to India's premier strike bowler and nor could he find the devastating reverse swing that so unsettled Australia. But he bowled tidily and showed enough to demonstrate that New Zealand's batsmen will find him hard to handle on a more helpful pitch.

Pragyan Ojha - 6: Ojha may have taken four wickets in the match, but one can't help but feel that he is a pale imitation of former great Indian spinners. His test bowling average of 40 would seem to confirm this observation.

Sreesanth - 5: Gave his all as usual but the pitch didn't help him but one wonders if he has the quality needed to be a top test fast bowler.

Where next?

Sachin Tendulkar's Annus Mirabilis

Is India's batting future post Sachin, VVS and Dravid brighter than expected?

Heroes: VVS Laxman

India vs Australia: 2nd Test: India marks out of 10

 
India reinforced their position as the number one ranked test side in the world ahead of a testing 18 months when they will play away series in South Africa, England and Australia. Given the form of Sachin Tendulkar and the emergence here of young players like Murali Vijay and debutant Cheteshwar Pujara, India seem well positioned to take on this triple challenge.

So with the Border-Gavaskar Trophy retained after what in the end proved an easy win, how did the Indian XI rate on the Reverse Sweep marks out of ten scale?

Murali Vijay - 9: Played the support role perfectly in that huge partnership with Tendulkar and was rewarded with a deserved maiden test ton. Then provided impetuous to the run chase in the second innings despite the early loss of Sehwag. With Gambhir's weakness against the short ball likely to be tested in the next 18 months, Vijay could get an extended run in the side at some point.

Virender Sehwag - 5: So he is human after all. Cheap dismissal after typical brutal 30 in the first innings was followed by another second innings failure. Don't worry Sehwag lovers, the next run-a-ball hundred is probably just around the corner.

Rahul Dravid - 5: Made a poor mistake to get out to Johnson again in the first innings and was then shoved down the order in the second before seeing India over the line in partnership with Sachin. Pujara's emergence could yet hasten Dravid's march to the exit door.

Sachin Tendulkar - 10: A supreme double hundred in the first innings saw the Little Master past 14,000 test runs. Incredible. The icing on the cake was the unbeaten fifty in the second innings as his Annus Mirabilis continued. How can you not give him a ten after that performance?

Cheteshwar Pujara - 8: Bounced back from getting a shooter three balls into his first test innings to impress hugely when promoted to three in the second. Given he has a first-class average of 60, perhaps we shouldn't be surprised he looked so composed. Dravid's successor looks to have been identified.

Suresh Raina - 6: Batted well enough for his 32 before falling to a sucker punch when Ponting moved long on into the circle and Raina then promptly holed out next ball to the new mid on. More difficult assignments await. Will be delighted to have snared Ponting as his first test wicket.

MS Dhoni - 6: Kept much better than he did at Mohali without ever looking entirely convincing and made a patient 30 in his only innings. His status as a captain continues to grow. 

Harbhajan Singh - 7: Six wickets in the match, with all but one being a top order batsman and his bowling was tidy enough. Still doesn't look like the Harbhajan of old though and his batting seems to have travelled rapidly downhill.

Zaheer Khan - 7: India's one genuine world-class seamer was again on form on an unhelpful pitch and deserved more than his four wickets. Will be relishing the regular opportunities to bowl on pitches outside the subcontinent in the next 18 months.

Pragyan Ojha - 7: Bowled much better and with more threat than he did at Mohali and was duly rewarded with six wickets in the match. Looks to be a good, if not outstanding spinner.

Sreesanth - 5: We're not convinced by Sreesanth. If he is India's third best seamer after Zaheer and Ishant, it doesn't say much for the rest. Grabbed two second innings wickets after taking none in a poor display first time around.

Where next?

1st Test: Mohali - India marks out of 10 

The best Indian test XI 1980-2010

Zeroes: Vinod Kambli

India vs Australia: 1st Test: India marks out of 10

 
The debate over whether India are deserving of their status as the number one test side in the World will likely roll on until we see how they fare on forthcoming tours of South Africa and England. But one thing is for sure - they don't seem to know when they are beaten, which is surely a trait of all the best teams in any sport.

In what was one of the most memorable finishes to a test match in an eon, VVS Laxman again showed that he is the man to see his side over the line in a run chase and Ishant Sharma deserves equal credit for the sterling support he provided in their match-winning ninth wicket partnership.

But how did they and the other Indian players rate over the five days in Mohali?

Gautam Gambhir - 4: Once again failed to impress against top-level fast bowling as he did in the mini-series against South Africa. That said, he did get an absolutely shocking decision in the second innings.

Virender Sehwag - 6: Typical run-a-ball fifty in the first innings before he paid the price for being too circumspect in the second, guiding a ball to gully that he would have normally brutally upper cut for four.

Rahul Dravid - 7: Seemed set for a big score in the first innings before losing concentration and then made another mistake in the second. Are there a few missing bricks from 'The Wall'?

Sachin Tendulkar - 8: Looked to be in complete control before inexplicably losing his wicket to North to continue the strange pattern throughout his career of getting out to second rate spinners. Poor shot to lose his wicket at a crucial time on the final morning.

Suresh Raina - 7: Rode his luck in the first innings and only just missed out on his second hundred in only his third test. Then his old demons against the short ball returned in the second indicating that he could be set to struggle in tests outside the subcontinent.

VVS Laxman - 9: Showed nerves of steel for the second test in succession to see India over the line and to continue his impressive record against Australia. His bad back didn't seem to hinder him on the final day. Marvellous performance and a marvellous batsman.

MS Dhoni - 5: His ridiculous run out looked to have sounded the death knell for India's run chase, so will be indebted to Laxman and Sharma. Continues to show good leadership though as India's great resilience suggests.

Harbhajan Singh - 7: - Another five wickets against his favourite opponents and he was certainly miserly throughout. Disappointing with the bat.

Zaheer Khan - 9: Eight wickets and thoroughly deserved for a consistently threatening and fiery performance with the ball. Found impressive reverse swing and troubled all of the Australian batsmen. Gets an extra mark for winding up Punter.

Ishant Sharma - 7: A real liquorice allsorts of a performance from Ishant. Woeful with the ball in the first innings, he turned the match for the first time with his three quick wickets in the second to precipitate Australia's collapse. Then he turned the game along with Laxman for a second decisive time with his brave test best knock in the run chase.

Pragyan Ojha - 6: Bowled tidily enough, but three wickets from 68 overs in the match is not a great return. Showed bottle to see India over the line.   

Can India overcome Murali, history & an over-reliance on Harbhajan?

India will have to overcome history, a severely weakened bowling line-up and the farewell of the great Muttiah Muralitharan when they face Sri Lanka in the first of three tests in Galle tomorrow.

On the historical front, the Indians have not won a Test series in Sri Lanka since Mohammad Azharuddin's team scored a 1-0 success in 1993. Furthermore, the Sri Lankans have won eight of their last nine series at home, with the only defeat coming in 2006, when Pakistan won a two-match series 1-0.

India's task has been made even more arduous through the loss of their one world class seam bowler Zaheer Khan. With Sreesanth also out through injury and Ishant Sharma struggling to reproduce the form he showed when he burst onto the test scene, India's pace bowling reserves looked stretched. Indeed, they are bad enough that the unimpressive Munaf Patel has been called up as a replacement, which should tell you everything.

 

This means that India will be heavily reliant on Harbhajan Singh to take 20 wickets in each test match. This is perhaps apt given that Murali generously suggested that Harbhajan was the only bowler playing today who he felt could challenge his record as test cricket's leading wicket taker. At least history is on India's side at Galle as in his last test at this venue, Harbhajan took six for 102 and four for 51 to set up an Indian victory. Captain MS Dhoni therefore will be desperately hoping that Harbhajan recovers from the fever that prevented him bowling in the nets today - Dhoni is probably administering the cold flannels and medicine himself.

 

If India's likely bowling line-up doesn't look like it justifies their position as the number one test side, their batting line-up more than makes up for it. The records of Virender Sehwag, Sachin Tendulkar, VVS Laxman and Rahul Dravid speak for themselves, Gautam Gambhir is formidable on the subcontinent, Dhoni himself can always be relied on for runs and even that great tub of lard Yuvraj Singh scored an excellent hundred in the warm-up match earlier this week.

 

With Sri Lanka's batting also looking formidable, Kumar Sangakkara will hope that his bowling line-up, which looks stronger and more varied on paper, will help his side prevail over the three games.

 

But the main focus of the Galle test will be whether Murali can take the eight wickets he needs in his final test to reach the magical figure of 800 - a figure that is unlikely ever to be surpassed. This neutral will be hoping that the great Sri Lankan spinner does it as his cricketing talent is matched by his qualities as a human being.

 

In terms of a series prediction, we go for Sri Lanka to win a series that will doubtlessly be dominated by batsmen 2-0.

Five days in cricket

Well we've quite a lot these last five days whilst we've been in hospital for the happy event of the birth of our daughter Isabella. Catching up we've missed some predictable and some not so predictable events.

1. We missed a brilliant game of cricket between India and Pakistan with Harbhajan Singh again proving he is the man for the big event.

2. England beat Scotland easily in a one day international and supposed slowcoach Andrew Strauss scored at a much quicker rate than greyhound opening partner Craig Kieswetter.

3. Australia were given a scare by Ireland. And then were also given a minor fright by Middlesex before Cameron White again underlined his credentials to be the next Australian captain in all formats. We saw too that Owais Shah gave a gentle reminder to the England selectors that he is still around.

4. We were delighted to miss test centuries by Graeme Smith and Jacques Kallis as they were no doubt mind numbingly boring and efficient. At last the West Indies have shown a bit of fight in their reply though. One other observation is that test matches in the Caribbean have become slow and turgid affairs. When you add South Africa to the mix that equals utter tedium.

5. More games took place in the FP t20 and crowd numbers no doubt fell further as even the most ardent supporters start to tire of a never-ending competition that makes the overbloated cricket world cup look like Kate Moss in comparison. We did see that our county Sussex continue to do well though.

6. We were bemused to see that the PCB rescinded the ban on its best batsman Younis Khan and then promptly didn't pick him for the upcoming tests against Australia and England. So the lunatics are still in the charge of the asylum.

7. And finally, England's football team has surpassed itself with its utter incompetence. And the malaise has a warning for cricket too. More of which later.

But all in all, it's good to be back.

Spinners With Attitude (S.W.A) announce debut album

The increasing domination of international cricket by finger spinners has taken a new twist with Sulieman Benn and Ray Price joining forces to make a rock/rap album. The two have developed a reputation as 'in the face of the batsman' bowlers, something normally the sole reserve of mean fast bowlers such as McGrath, Ambrose and Fred Trueman.

Benn and Price readily admit that the project, named after the notorious gangsta rap act N.W.A, is intended to increase the profile of finger spinners and further intimidate cowing batsmen, with the end result being more wickets. Benn of course, was recently incarcerated following his threatening behaviour to the defenceless Brad Haddin and Mitchell Johnson (see picture). Now released, Benn has vowed vengeance on the pair and is relishing the challenge of putting Johnson's mum in her place as well.

Price admitted that the main reason behind his rise to number 2 in the ICC ODI bowler rankings is equally down to his menacing air and skill as a bowler. The pair hope to add Harbhajan and possibly Graeme Swann to their posse in the near future though completely refuted suggestions that Nathan Nauritz and Paul Harris were also in their sights. "They're pussies", was all Benn was prepared to say about the Australian and South African finger spinners. Price added that Hauritz was "meek" and Harris "a laughing stock" and that their gang credentials were "pretty much zero".

The album will be out at the end of March and includes tracks such as "I'm a finger spinner, twisted finger spinner" (a take on the Prodigy's "Firestarter", "Rebel Rebel", "No Wicket, You Die" (a twist on the Bob Marley classic 'No Woman, No Cry", and "I Kill Batsmen" (the Dead Kennedy's "I Kill Children" with amended lyrics).

International cricket's batsmen are reported to be quaking in their boots...