Geoff Boycott's dose of Yorkshire humour on England's 72 all out

After the shambles of England’s feeble run chase in the 2nd Test in Abu Dhabi on Saturday it was going to take something pretty special to put the smile back on the faces of England’s devoted supporters.

Well, Geoff Boycott may just have done it  - partially at least.

Writing of England’s defeat in the Telegraph, Boycott played more forceful strokes off the front foot than in his entire first-class cricket career. We particularly enjoyed his take on Eoin Morgan:

“Morgan’s body language is abysmal. When he walks in under pressure he gives me the impression of a lamb to the slaughter. When he comes in, I daren’t go for a pee because I know I will miss him”

We’re not sure if it is the “pee” line that makes us laugh the most or the thought of Geoffrey wetting himself in the unlikely event that Morgan hangs around at the crease for a couple of hours in the 3rd Test.

A dose of gruff Yorkshire sarcasm is just what the doctor ordered after that most sickly of displays by England’s terrified batsmen. We'll leave the final word to Geoffrey...

"England batted as if they had no idea how to score. They succumbed like lemmings jumping off a cliff: uncertain, negative and mesmerised"

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Where next?

2nd Test: Pakistan vs England - England marks out of 10

2nd Test: Pakistan vs England - Pakistan marks out of 10

England's tale of woe against spin in Asia

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Comments

[Ed Lamb]

Sounds like he may have gone 1% of the way to redeeming himself then. His TMS commentary on the penultimate day when Pakistan were 4 down and still behind was rediculous. He reckoned England had the game in the bag when Pakistan still had 2 specialist batsmen at the crease.

Apart from demonstrating that his "expert" opinion was once again way off the mark, he also showed a complete lack of respect for the Pakistani commentators he was working with. It happens every time...Boycott's just an embarrassment and how he ever got a job in the media is anyone's guess.
Perhaps there can be a statutory retirement age brought in for all commentators from Yorkshire who find it difficult to speak without denigrating someone else?

[The Reverse Sweep]

Ed, that was a refreshingly honest - even Boycottesque - assessment of Boycott. I hear what you are saying, but I have to say that I like Boycott's unique style, strong opinions (even if I don't always agree with them) and prickly approach. At least he says what he thinks, which in our world of political correctness and blandness is to be welcomed IMO.

Of course he ended up with egg on his face - he even staked his three houses on an England win, which perhaps made his assessment of the failings of England's batsmen even more pointed than they would otherwise have been.

 

[Cricket Burble]

If my comment sounded Boycottesque can I delete it? Just kidding! I'd like to think he wouldn't show any empathy for how others listening to him would take his comments.

Agree with your final point....he kept looking at the wicket balls and saying they didn't turn much. I think even pretty inexperienced club cricketers understand that you only need one or two balls to spin big to create uncertainty from the batsman - it's not only the wonder balls that take wickets.

That said, England's batting was pretty dire! But not quite as dire as Boycott's commentary in my personal opinion. I haven't yet got to the point of switching off TMS when he's on though....yet.

Boycott is the cricket commentary version of Marmite it seems!