Brisbane Zero: Mitchell Johnson

 
Back before the start of the 2009 Ashes Series, my Australian friends were crowing about Mitchell Johnson - 'just you wait and and see how good he is' and 'he's gonna blow the Poms away' and the like.

Well we're still waiting and if anything the bowler who makes Steve Harmison look metronomic by comparison is getting even worse if his performance in the 1st Test at The Gabba is anything to go by.

His bowling in both innings has been simply dreadful as he has sprayed the ball around like an incontinent drunk who has sunkten pints of beer - each with a whiskey chaser. He doesn't seem to have a clue where the ball will go and even his arch-supporter Ricky Ponting seems to be losing the faith.

No wickets, no runs from a painful 19 ball duck and then he dropped a sitter to reprieve Andrew Strauss during his hundred. Chuck in the comedy moustache, the appalling tattoos and the mother from hell and Johnson is more of a joke figure than a potent strike bowler.

We've heard endless quotes from Australian players and supporters that Johnson is a 'once in a generation bowler'. And they are right. To paraphrase Churchill, never in the field of cricket combat, has so much filth been bowled to so many by just one wayward fast bowler.

Johnson may yet prove us wrong by the time the series climaxes in Sydney - if he keeps his place - but for now Mitchell Johnson is irrefutably a Reverse Sweep zero.

Where next?

Brisbane Hero: Eddie Paynter

Brisbane Zero: Martin McCague

Brisbane Hero: Tony Greig 

Check out all our other Reverse Sweep heroes and zeroes

Comments

[simon]

lol! all your pieces are very well written, so perhaps it's just schadenfreude, but this is especially entertaining.

[The Reverse Sweep]

Thks Simon - Mitchell certainly provides plenty of material!

[Paul]

A funny piece, mostly because it's true. Poor old MJ just goes to show that your fortunes can change pretty quickly in this game of cricket- it really is a "funny old game"!

[The Reverse Sweep]

Yes, poor old Mitch has gone from hero against South Africa a couple of years ago to a big fat zero now. Still, he wouldnt have done any worse in Adelaide than Doug The Rug Bollinger, whose body language has been nearly as dreadful as his bowling.