Zeroes: Billy Bowden

It took an incident on the first day of the current England-Pakistan test at Lord's to decide who would be this week's Reverse Sweep zero.

Thankfully for Alastair Cook, Billy Bowden's ridiculous decision to uphold a caught behind appeal was overturned by a no doubt bemused television umpire. Given Bowden's notorious reputation as an umpire who likes to be centre of attention, one wonders whether he made the error on purpose?

This incident reminded us of how annoying we find Billy's eccentricities. From his crooked finger dismissal to his impersonation of an ecstasy fuelled raver when signalling for a six, Bowden does as much as he can to steal the limelight. If we could corner Billy in a room for five minutes, we would repeatedly shout "IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU, BILLY" at the top of our voice until the fool got it into his head that the best umpires are supposed to go unnoticed.

It wouldn't be so bad if he was a good umpire but, though not as inept as his fellow zero Daryl Harper, Billy's mistakes come with a regularity that should breed inconspicuousness not a thirst for fame that would embarrass a Big Brother or X Factor hopeful.

Billy is not a character like Dickie Bird, he is an imbecile who would be more in place with the primadonna football referees that frequent the English Premier League. Cut out the 'look at me' attitude and do the job Billy. 

Comments

[Beeswaxy]

Did you see the way he walked down the pavilion steps yesterday?

Billy, you are not a boxer heading to the ring, nor are you Bono or Axl Rose (although I will say that you are as big an idiot as those two).

Yesterday of all days, it was not about you. Really, trust on me on this one, it was not about you.

[nick keesing]

bowden = cock