Unfortunately I am not Hiro Nakamura (that's him in the picture below) from the TV series Heroes (or Doctor Who or even Bill or Ted, if you prefer) and I haven't just travelled back from January 2011 to report that England have dismantled a dreadful Australian side and handed out the most royal of thrashings in the Ashes series.
But it is to be hoped that Ricky Ponting and his men will learn to to play as badly and take defeat as meekly as their footballing brethren in time for the arrival of Andrew Strauss and the England team in November.
For now, we England supporters will have to be content with seeing the Australian football team being given such a harsh lesson on the biggest stage. Even if we have to conveniently forget that it was Germany who handing out the spanking and that the English rugby team were beaten by Australia at the weekend too.
Let's hope that the smile is not wiped off our faces in the unlikely event that Australia qualify for the last 16 and somehow manage to beat England. Although with my namesake Robert in goal anything is possible!
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