Last week we introduced you to two categories of T20 batsmen - the Lovers and the Shaggers.
The warm-up matches and the opening match between New Zealand and Sri Lanka has taught us that the pitches in Guyana, Barbados and St Lucia are slower than an arthritic tortoise who has had a particularly heavy night on the sauce. This means that the shaggers may not be as prevalent as they were in the IPL where Robin Uthappa, Yusuf Pathan and Kieron Pollard in particular shagged themselves silly around India for six weeks.
I always had Tillakaratne Dilshan down as a shagger; and an unconventional one at that, but to see him struggle today to score only three off 19 balls suggests that he won't put as many notches on his belt as he did in England in last year's World T20.
So predicting the Lovers that will aim to provide pleasure all night, be chivalrous with their foreplay and then maintain a steady and patient momentum with the occasional shout out loud moment. Similarly, trying to fathom who will be the Shaggers that are too selfish for foreplay and start banging away from day one looks like it is going to be more difficult than we thought. But, to the hell with it and here goes.
The Lovers - Looking to give some lurve will be the following: Jacques Kallis, Mahela Jayawardene, Paul Collingwood, Michael Clarke (if anyone can manage to stay awake), Gautam Gambhir and Shivnarine Chanderpaul.
The Shaggers - Warming up with Robin Uthappa's medicine ball will be: David Warner, Bangladesh (yep, the whole team are testosterone fuelled sex maniacs), Eoin Morgan, Murali Vijay, Shahid Afridi (who is probably a bit kinky), Albie Morkel, Tillakaratne Dilshan, Chris Gayle, Kieron Pollard and Elton Chigumbura.
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