EXCLUSIVE: Andrew Stauss to resign as England captain?

News comes to the Reverse Sweep this morning of the shocking news that Andrew Strauss is on the brink of resigning as England cricket captain.

 

A source in the ECB revealed that amidst extraordinary scenes last night, Strauss was confronted with revelations from a tabloid newspaper that he was to introduce a bizarre toast-rack ritual into the England dressing room to promote discipline and unity ahead of the Ashes tour next winter.

 

As a former English public schoolboy, Strauss would have learnt all about the toast-rack, where new and younger boys are subjected to a ritual in the canteen by the prefects. Apparently, the new recruits are lined up in a row, made to drop their trousers and their bums are then filled with hot toast with the scene reminiscent of a bizarre toast-rack - hence the name.

 

The source told the Reverse Sweep that a tabloid newspaper is expected to reveal full details this weekend and that with Strauss’ position seeming untenable, a press conference announcing his resignation can be expected some time today; probably this afternoon.

 

It is also understood that Alastair Cook will immediately be announced as the new captain, which surely doesn’t bode well for England’s chances of retaining the Ashes.

 

More news as soon as I get it.

 

Comments

[Hugo]

How narrow minded of the powers that be. Could be just the job for all important team unity before seeing off the Aussies. Surely KP being announced as skipper would be more in line with the story? No that would make it too obviously fictional... Good one.

[The Nurdler]

Hmmm. Not sure at all of the accuracy of this. Thought it was a bike rack, not a toast rack... Guess we'll find out come Sunday...

[The Reverse Sweep]

I agree Hugo, most of our Prime Ministers (including the next one) probably had to go through this ordeal. Not sure if that is a good advert for it. And the fact that Cook was going to be appointed was maybe the clue that the story was linked to the date. Surely, no-one in their right mind would make Cook captain of England? 

[The Reverse Sweep]

I expect the Fake Sheikh to reveal all!!

[Amar Ujala epaper]

I agree. He should retire as a captain and concentrate on his batting.

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