With Christmas only two days away, we’d been wondering what some of cricket’s big names have asked Santa for.
Thanks to a renegade Elf in Santa's inner sanctum, all can now be revealed:
Shane Watson – the man who Carly Simon once wrote a song about has asked for his bedroom to be covered wall to wall and floor to ceiling with mirrors. He has also asked for a year’s supply of Kleenex. No, not for that! But in anticipation of more tears when he next gets out in the nervous nineties
Michael Clarke– a lifelike Lara Bingle rubber doll and a backbone
Jonathan Trott and Doug Bollinger – appointments with Jacques Kallis’ new hair consultant
Ricky Ponting – the hottest curry sauce of all – anything that means he can get amongst the runs again, but on no account does he want any Beer to go with it
Andrew Strauss- an exclusive membership of the club of Middlesex captains that have won an Ashes series down under. To date, Mike Gatting, Mike Brearley and Pelham Warner are the only members
Steve Smith– Being young he wants to learn, so he has asked Santa for ‘The Marcus North Tutorial of Batting at Six’ and ‘The Idiots Guide to Leg-Spin by Chris Schofield'
Steve Finn– he had wanted clothes, but after being so expensive at the WACA he managed to bag a sponsorship deal with Prada, so the tall paceman now wants the same radar that Mitchell Johnson used in Perth
Matt Prior & Peter Siddle and Ian Botham & Ian Chappell – a pair of boxing gloves each so that they can take their respective war of words into the ring
Michael Hussey– some more kryptonite to ensure that he can reprise his Superman heroics at Melbourne and Sydney
Kamran Akmal - A new set of wicketkeeper gloves made entirely out of velcro
Salman Butt, Mohammad Aamer and Mohammad Asif - A damn good lawyer
Nathan Hauritz – Having got rid of his Australian kit at a recent garage sale, the discarded spinner now wants a fresh new kit from Santa in time to make a comeback in Sydney
MS Dhoni– some cotton wool in which to wrap up Zaheer Khan prior to every test match and particularly for the upcoming tours of England and Australia
Tim Bresnan and Jesse Ryder - a KFC Bargain Bucket per day for life
Ijaz Butt - World War III
Harbhajan Singh– a set of Matthew Hayden’s cook books so that he can prepare a meal for his good friends Hayden and Andrew Symonds when he tours Australia later this year
Daniel Vettori - the Prime Ministership of New Zealand - well he does everything else. Either that or to wake up on Christmas Day as an Australian - there seems to be a vacancy for a spinner
Ian Bell – a DVD of the Famous Five, so he can prepare for his promotion up the batting order
Paul Collingwood – a guide to the best retirement homes in the North East of England
Mitchell Johnson – Kevin Pietersen’s phone number
Kevin Pietersen - A romantic dinner for two with Mitch
Where next?
Check out all our Reverse Sweep heroes and zeroes featuring Shane Watson, Mitchell Johnson and Nathan Hauritz amongst others
Historic India-Pakistan peace summit flounders on cricket diplomacy
Read KP's Ashes Diary exclusively at the Reverse Sweep
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