The Reverse Sweep

We Are Two Today

December 23rd is a pretty random date to start a blog about cricket, but that is exactly what we did two years ago to this day.

For once the Christmas shopping was done and we were sat in the office with nothing to do et voila.

The life of a blogger is nearly as precarious as it was to be a despot in 2011, but like Dictator Dan we managed to get through the year unscathed.

It's been a good, bad and ugly year in cricket. The good was seen in England's Ashes triumph through to the absolute walloping of India to replace them as the number one Test side. It was also seen in Lancashire's County Championship triumph, Ireland's victory over England in the World Cup, Pakistan's resurgence, MS Dhoni's batting in the World Cup final and the arrival of a number of immensely talented young cricketers such as Darren Bravo, Pat Cummins and Jonathan Bairstow.

Sadly, there was a lot of bad topped by the unseemly spot-fixing trial that saw three cricketers sent to jail. As for the ugly, one didn't need to look further than the ICC. Whether it was allowing Zimbabwe back into the Test fold, dithering over the presence of the minnows in the next World Cup, backtracking over the World Test Championship or making a hash over the use of the DRS.

We hope you've enjoyed it. We have. Now it's time for a tantrum - well we are two.

Where next?

Happy 1st birthday

Dear Santa... - What have these cricketers requested for Christmas?

Check out some of our Cricket XIs: They also played cricket, Rugger Buggers, Cricketing Criminals , A team of cricketers that died young, The Worst Australia Ashes XI of the last 30 years, The Worst England Ashes XI of the last 30 years

Check out all our Reverse Sweep cricket heroes and zeroes 

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

Dear Santa... - What have these cricketers requested for Christmas?

It's that time of year again and like the rest of us, the cricket fraternity have been compiling their list of requests for Santa.

Here's what some of them may have asked for this Christmas: 

Daniel Vettori - Protection. With 2011 having seen a number of dictators leaving this mortal coil, along with President Assad of Syria, Dictator Dan is one of only a handful left

Phillip Hughes - It's not exactly been a good year for poor old Phil, so his list to Santa is bulging with wishes such as a request to rescind his decision to opt out of BBL now that he has lost his Test place, a book of the best Worcester hosteleries ahead of his stint with the county and for Chris Martin and Martin Guptill to be sent on a one-way mission to Mars

Ricky Ponting - A time machine so he can relive past glories

Salman Butt, Mohammad Asif and Mohammad Amir - A DVD of The Great Escape and a tunnel making kit

Chris Gayle, Dwayne Bravo and Kieron Pollard - Lucrative contracts in the new Twenty 20 leagues in Outer Mongolia, Belarus and the Falkland Islands

Stuart Law - A one way ticket from Dhaka to Brisbane

Ijaz Butt - World War III 

Kevin Pietersen and Andy Flower - A bottle of paraffin, some matches and a lorry full of Graeme Swann's autobiography

Jonathan Trott - A Bob Willis voodoo doll

Jesse Ryder, Jacques Kallis and Graeme Smith - A KFC bargain bucket per day for life

Shane Warne - Some humility

Kamran Akmal - A new pair of gloves made of industrial strength velcro coupled with a small accident for brother Adnan

Darren Sammy - Catching lessons from Kamran Akmal

Sachin Tendulkar - Something about a 100th hundred. Not quite sure what that is all about

Shane Watson and Zaheer Khan - New bodies in time for the Boxing Day Test.

Where next?

Chasing Sachin by Adam Carroll-Smith | Book Review

Jack Hobbs by Leo McKinstry | Book review

Check out some of our Cricket XIs: They also played cricket, Rugger Buggers, Cricketing Criminals , A team of cricketers that died young, The Worst Australia Ashes XI of the last 30 years, The Worst England Ashes XI of the last 30 years

Check out all our Reverse Sweep cricket heroes and zeroes 

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

1st Test: Australia vs New Zealand - New Zealand marks out of 10

Brendon McCullum - 5: Started like a train with three boundaries in the first over of the match, but ended up caught in the slip cordon in both innings and was given a bit of a going over by Pattinson on the third evening. However, the Black Caps need him swinging at the top of the order.

Martin Guptill - 4: Got into double figures twice but couldn't get any further after a loose drive first time around and a tame fend to short leg on the fourth morning.

Kane Williamson - 3: Has talent but is too high in the order at three. Struggled against Lyon on day one and was out for a duck attempting to drive a fired-up Pattinson in the second over of day 4. 

Ross Taylor - 2: Made the wrong move in choosing to bat after winning the toss and the two shots he played to be dismissed were abysmal especially the wild attempted square drive just before lunch on the first morning. Needs a lesson in responsibility from Vettori.

Jesse Ryder - 5: Showed poor judegment in both innings: the wild flat-footed slash to gully in the 1st innings was woeful enough but the limp scoop to mid-off off Lyon second time around was inexcusable.

Dean Brownlie - 8: It took a man playing just his 2nd Test to show the top five how to do it. Came to the crease both times with his team in desperate trouble and dug in impressively especially in unison with Vettori in the 1st innings.

Daniel Vettori - 9: The side's best batsman, best bowler (he even opened the bowling), best leader and only player of genuine Test class. Although he took his wicket, Mike Hussey proved Dictator Dan's achilles heel running him out with a direct hit attempting a suicidal single just four runs short of a deserved hundred in the 1st innings and then handing him a rare Test wicket with a soft dismissal second time around.

Reece Young - 5: Tidy enough behind the stumps but doesn't exactly inspire confidence with a bat in his hands.

Doug Bracewell - 4: Should have had Clarke not once, not twice but three times and will still be ruing his error in bowling the Australian skipper off a no-ball. Found the Australian batsmen a much tougher proposition than the Zimbabwe line-up he took six wickets off on his debut, which is hardly a surprise.

Tim Southee - 4: Looks more of a third or fourth seamer and faded badly after getting some extra lift to snare Warner early in Australia's 1st innings. Likes a swing with the bat.

Chris Martin - 6: As steady as ever and seems to have Hughes's number after having him caught in the gully in both innings. Desperately lacks quality seam support. As woeful as ever with the bat, Martin is the ultimate number 11.

Where next?

1st Test: Australia vs New Zealand - Australia marks out of 10

Zimbabwe: An example of where sport and politics should mix

India vs New Zealand: 2nd Test - New Zealand marks out of 10

Check out all our Reverse Sweep cricket heroes and zeroes 

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

South Africa choke in the World Cup - Part V

 
Whilst credit should go to New Zealand for ruthlessly exposing the mental fragility and brittleness of the opposition, this had to be the worst choke of all in a World Cup history littered with chokes for South Africa.

To put it bluntly, South Africa couldn’t have self-asphyxiated any better if they had all been wearing suspenders, put oranges in their mouths and tied a belt around their throats.

South Africa has still to win a knockout match in the World Cup.

In 1992, they were plain unlucky.

In 1996 they won their group and were then stunned by the fourth placed team from the other group in the quarter final (sounds familiar?). But in their defence, it took a hundred by Brian Lara at the peak of his powers to defeat them.

Three years later they had two chances to extinguish Australia. Herschelle Gibb’s infamous drop and a superlative hundred from Steve Waugh in the first game and keystone cops running between the wickets by Allan Donald and Lance Klusener in the semi-final saw the Proteas splutter once again.

When they hosted the tournament in 2003, South Africa exited at the group stages after fatally misunderstanding Duckworth Lewis.

And then in 2007, it was old nemesis Australia again in the semi-final and a right royal thrashing.

But even with that chequered history, Friday was something special.

South Africa were on easy street at 108/2 with only 114 needed from 26 overs.

They faced a New Zealand attack of Nathan McCullum, Daniel Vettori, Jacob Oram and Tim Southee; which with all deference to Vettori is hardly the four horsemen of the apocalypse.

Even when Jacques Kallis was out, South Africa should have eased to victory.

But they didn’t.

What unfurled can only be described as mental disintegration. How else can you explain the run out of AB De Villiers?

And that is why the South African cricket team will continue to be tagged as chokers.

Sounds fair enough to us.

Where next?

Lay off England after World Cup proves a bridge too far

Check out our Reverse Sweep XIs

Read all our 2011 World Cup posts here

World Cup Zeroes: Herschelle Gibbs

South Africa: Don't mention the 'C' word...

An XI of unlikely World Cup heroes and a not so heroic 12th man

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

World Cup Team Previews: New Zealand - Can SuperDan save the day?

 
Having lost 14 of its last 17 ODIs – including a chastening 4-0 reverse in Bangladesh last autumn, New Zealand will enter the World Cup with some trepidation. In previous tournaments, the sum has proved greater than the parts and the Black Caps have done generally well reaching the semi-finals five times. In 2011, they will be relieved if they progress from the group stages where a very tricky encounter with Zimbabwe awaits them.

Strengths

The Black Caps may lack strength in depth, but they do have some quality players in Vettori, Taylor, Brendon McCullum, Ryder and Oram. If these five perform well and inspire the lesser players in the side to contribute then New Zealand may prove to be the dark horses they have been in previous tournaments.

Weaknesses

Vettori apart, the bowling attack is weak and as the warm-up against India showed is susceptible to conceding big totals. The batting too has proved to be brittle and collapses are all too common. Their recent record on the sub-continent does not bode well either.

Main man

In his last assignment as captain, old SuperDan himself – Daniel Vettori – will yet again have to perform a passable impersonation of Atlas if the Black Caps are to progress past the quarter-finals.

Look out for…

With plenty of air travel between the games, watch out for more stories about unlikely lothario Tim Southee. Fathers all over the subcontinent will be locking up your daughters in anticipation. Jesse Ryder is also unlikely to emerge unscathed from a six week sojourn without at least one shameful drunken episode.

Prediction

It wouldn’t come as a huge surprise to The Reverse Sweep if New Zealand made an early exit, but we tip them to scrape past Zimbabwe into a quarter-final with India, where they will be well and truly mullered.

Where next?

World Cup Team previews: Part 1 - India: Glory or effigies?

World Cup Team Previews: Part 2 - South Africa: Don't mention the 'C' word...

World Cup Team Previews: Part 3 - Bangladesh: Shock & Awe

World Cup Team Previews: Part 4 - West Indies: Calypso or Collapso?

World Cup Team Previews: Part 5 - England: How far can resilience take them?

World Cup Team Previews: Part 6 - Ireland/Canada/Kenya/Netherlands: Last chance for the minnows?

World Cup Team Previews: Part 7 - Zimbabwe - An army of spin

World Cup Team Previews: Part 8 - Australia: Four in a row?

World Cup Team Previews: Part 9 - Pakistan: Tigers or Pussies?

World Cup Team previews: Part 10 - Sri Lanka: Will lightning strike twice?

Our XI to shine at the World Cup

Check out all our Reverse Sweep heroes and zeroes 

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

The best Test XI of 2010

 
So, 2010 is in its last throes - a year that saw England retain the Ashes and win the World T20 in the Caribbean, India cement their position as the number one test side in the World, Pakistan cricket embroiled in even more turmoil and the swift descent of Australia to one of the also-rans.

It has also been a year of notable individual performances and that leads us to the Reverse Sweep's Test XI of the year:

1. Virender Sehwag (1422 Test runs at 61.82, 5 100s)- More brutality was wreaked on hapless bowling attacks as Sehwag piled up the runs at an astonishing strike rate of 90.80. Next best: Tamim Iqbal - the left-handed Sehwag

2. Hashim Amla (1249 runs at 78.06, 5 100s)- Arguably the batsman of the year - his feats in the mini-series in India where he scored 494 runs for once out proved to be the prelude to an annus mirabilis for Amla, who opens for our XI to accommodate who is to follow. Next best: Alastair Cook, who went on a journey from zero to hero in 2010

3. Jonathan Trott (1325 runs at 66.25, 4 100s)- The scourge of Australia looked in risk of losing his place at the start of the year, but from the start of the English summer Trott has averaged 93 in ten tests. Next best: Kumar Sangakkara - averaged 99.28, but only played six tests

4. Sachin Tendulkar (1562 runs at 78.10, 7 100s) - Like Amla, the Little Master had an annus mirabilis and was the leading run scorer in tests, recorded his 50th Test ton, celebrated 20 years in Test cricket and scored the first double hundred in ODI history. Not bad for a 37 year old. Next best: Thilan Samaraweera - the only man to average over 100 in tests in 2010 but like Sangakkara only played six tests

5. Jacques Kallis (1198 runs at 79.86, 6 100s; 12 wickets at 47.83) - Seems to get better and better, and finally got his first Test double hundred - his 38th in Tests - against India at Centurion to celebrate his sudden and miraculous hair growth. Next best: AB De Villiers - the third cog in South Africa's stellar middle order.

6. VVS Laxman (939 runs at 67.07, 2 100s)- The master of batting in the second innings won India tests they otherwise would likely have lost at Colombo (103*), Mohali (73*) and Durban (96). Along with Harbhajan, he also saved India against New Zealand at Ahmedabad with 91. Very Very Special, indeed. Next best: Ian Bell - the year that the boy finally became a man

7. MS Dhoni (749 runs at 41.61, 1 10o; 41 catches, 7 stumpings)- With Sangakkara and McCullum relinquishing the gloves, Dhoni pips Prior and Haddin to a place in our XI. The captain of the World's number one ranked test side, skippers our XI too. Next best: Brad Haddin or Matt Prior - take your pick.

8. Graeme Swann (64 wickets at 25.96, 6 five-fors) - The leading wicket taker in tests in 2010 and the best spinner in the world is an automatic choice for this XI. Next best: Daniel Vettori - a.k.a Superdan

9. Dale Steyn (60 wickets at 21.81, 4 five-fors) - The best bowler in the world bar none with a phenomenal strike rate of 39 in 2010. His 7/51 in Nagpur was arguably the test performance of the year. Next best: Peter Siddle - Australia's shining light

10. Zaheer Khan (47 wickets at 21.97, 2 five-fors)- If Steyn is the best, than Zaheer is the canniest bowler in the world. Lethal with the new or old ball and his record is even more remarkable given that he played all but one test in 2010 on batsman-friendly subcontinental wickets. Probably India's most important player. Next best: Mohammad Aamer - the light that burns twice as bright, burns half as long?

11. James Anderson (57 wickets at 22.96, 3five-fors) - Absolutely deadly in swing-friendly conditions against Pakistan in the summer, but just as effective in Australia where his development as one of the best fast bowlers in the world has been undeniably confirmed. Next best: Morne Morkel - who forms with Steyn the best new ball attack in the world.

Where next?

Sachin Tendulkar's Annus Mirabilis

10 reasons to love Graeme Swann

Heroes: VVS Laxman

Dear Jimmy...

Amla the Magnificent - Much more than a beard

In defence of Jonathan Trott

Graduates from the Sehwag School for Batting announced

Read all the latest from our Ashes 2010/11 coverage

Check out all our Reverse Sweep heroes and zeroes

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

Dear Santa...

 
With Christmas only two days away, we’d been wondering what some of cricket’s big names have asked Santa for.

Thanks to a renegade Elf in Santa's inner sanctum, all can now be revealed:

Shane Watson – the man who Carly Simon once wrote a song about has asked for his bedroom to be covered wall to wall and floor to ceiling with mirrors. He has also asked for a year’s supply of Kleenex. No, not for that! But in anticipation of more tears when he next gets out in the nervous nineties

Michael Clarke– a lifelike Lara Bingle rubber doll and a backbone

Jonathan Trott and Doug Bollinger – appointments with Jacques Kallis’ new hair consultant

Ricky Ponting – the hottest curry sauce of all – anything that means he can get amongst the runs again, but on no account does he want any Beer to go with it

Andrew Strauss- an exclusive membership of the club of Middlesex captains that have won an Ashes series down under. To date, Mike Gatting, Mike Brearley and Pelham Warner are the only members

Steve Smith– Being young he wants to learn, so he has asked Santa for  ‘The Marcus North Tutorial of Batting at Six’ and ‘The Idiots Guide to Leg-Spin by Chris Schofield'

Steve Finn– he had wanted clothes, but after being so expensive at the WACA he managed to bag a sponsorship deal with Prada, so the tall paceman now wants the same radar that Mitchell Johnson used in Perth

Matt Prior & Peter Siddle and Ian Botham & Ian Chappell – a pair of boxing gloves each so that they can take their respective war of words into the ring

Michael Hussey– some more kryptonite to ensure that he can reprise his Superman heroics at Melbourne and Sydney

Kamran Akmal  - A new set of wicketkeeper gloves made entirely out of velcro

Salman Butt, Mohammad Aamer and Mohammad Asif  - A damn good lawyer

Nathan Hauritz – Having got rid of his Australian kit at a recent garage sale, the discarded spinner now wants a fresh new kit from Santa in time to make a comeback in Sydney

MS Dhoni– some cotton wool in which to wrap up Zaheer Khan prior to every test match and particularly for the upcoming tours of England and Australia

Tim Bresnan and Jesse Ryder - a KFC Bargain Bucket per day for life

Ijaz Butt  - World War III

Harbhajan Singh– a set of Matthew Hayden’s cook books so that he can prepare a meal for his good friends Hayden and Andrew Symonds when he tours Australia later this year

Daniel Vettori - the Prime Ministership of New Zealand - well he does everything else. Either that or to wake up on Christmas Day as an Australian - there seems to be a vacancy for a spinner

Ian Bell – a DVD of the Famous Five, so he can prepare for his promotion up the batting order

Paul Collingwood – a guide to the best retirement homes in the North East of England

Mitchell Johnson – Kevin Pietersen’s phone number

Kevin Pietersen - A romantic dinner for two with Mitch

Where next?

Check out all our Reverse Sweep heroes and zeroes featuring Shane Watson, Mitchell Johnson and Nathan Hauritz amongst others

Historic India-Pakistan peace summit flounders on cricket diplomacy

Read KP's Ashes Diary exclusively at the Reverse Sweep

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

India vs New Zealand: 2nd Test - New Zealand marks out of 10

 
Another performance full of pluck and quality from New Zealand showed that India are going to have to make a marked improvement to get the win they need in the final test at Nagpur to secure the series.

But on this form don't count against New Zealand sneaking what would be a major shock series win.

Here's how the Black Caps rated in Hyderabad (see India marks out of 10 here):

Tim McIntosh - 9: Magnificent and gutsy comeback after bagging a pair at Ahmedabad scoring a deserved hundred in the first and 49 in the second to ensure that the first innings deficit was overhauled with no wickets down. Maybe he is a test match opener after all?

Brendon McCullum - 9: The latest batsman after the likes of Dilshan and Watson to prove that in any aspiring middle order batsman is a test opener struggling to get out. You can't ask for much more than a double hundred in the second innings on India - even on this runway of a pitch.

Martin Guptill - 7: Made India and Sreesanth pay for his dismissal off a no ball in the first innings and can count himself unlucky not to have reached three figures.

Ross Taylor - 4: A couple of failures with the bat means that New Zealand's star batsman is the only one of the top six yet to shine in this series. Will it be his turn at Nagpur? 

Jesse Ryder - 7: A terrific knock in the first innings confirmed the impression he made in Ahmedabad that his appetite for runs is nearly as large as his huger for hamburgers. If he can just stay fit...

Kane Williamson - 7: Poor decision prevented him from becoming only the seventh man to begin his Test career with back-to-back centuries. An immense talent.

Daniel Vettori - 8: A fine bowling display full of variety and cunning earned Superdan a deserved five wicket haul and with his charges continuing to perform with the bat his shoulders must feel slightly less burdened than Atlas for once..

Gareth Hopkins - 6: Safe again with the gloves, but his first innings dismissal means he has a lot of work to do with the bat.

Tim Southee - 6:  Bowled with plenty of heart and fire - just ask Sreesanth and got Dravid with a beauty. Is he quick enough to be a test opening bowler though?

Brent Arnel - 3:  Went wicketless and now averages 68 after three tests - how  Vettori must wish that injuries hadn't led to Shane Bond having to call it a day.

Chris Martin - 8: Bowled much better than his figures of 1/87 suggested and the ultimate tail-end rabbit even managed to score more runs (3) than his career average (2.37).

Where next?

1st Test ratings: New Zealand and India

Au revoir to Shane Bond 

Specialist openers - an endangered species?

India vs New Zealand: 1st Test - New Zealand marks out of 10

 
New Zealand will have mixed emotions following the conclusion of the 1st Test at Ahmedabad. There will be pride that they gave the number one ranked test side a real run for their money in their own backyard.

But there will be disappointment also that they were unable to take advantage of the position that Chris Martin's inspired spell of bowling gave them when India looked into the abyss at 15 for five in their second innings. Daniel Vettori will know that in the final reckoning at the end of the three match series, his side may come to regret letting India off the hook.

Tim McIntosh - 0: After bagging a pair, McIntosh gets his third zero of the match. In danger of becoming Zaheer Khan's bunny after getting out to him twice.

Brendon McCullum - 6: His first test since relinquishing the gloves for good and he played well for his 65 until he was brilliantly stumped by Dhoni. We're not too sure about his bowling though.

BJ Watling - 2: Bowled by the first ball of spin he had faced in India, which doesn't bode well for a improved performance in the next two tests.

Ross Taylor - 6: Looked calm and assured in compiling 56 before playing a terrible shot to gift Harbhajan his only wicket of the match. 

Jesse Ryder - 8: Ryder's talent may not quite much the size of his girth, but his composed hundred means he now has a test match average of 52. New Zealand will hope that Ryder regains full fitness in time for Hyderabad.

Kane Williamson - 9: You cannot ask much more from a 20 year old on test debut to score a hundred against the number one ranked side and New Zealand look to have found a real talent on this showing. A long and successful career beckons.

Daniel Vettori - 8: Superdan was his usual reliable self taking four wickets in a long and controlled stint of bowling and hitting a useful 41. If he had hit the stumps with Harbhajan stranded early on the final day then he could have been celebrating a famous victory.

Gareth Hopkins - 6: Outfoxed by Ojha in his only innings but kept tidily enough to suggest that McCullum's days with the gloves are indeed over.

Jeetan Patel - 5:  After a poor performance on the first day and a torrid time at the hands of Sehwag, Patel bounced back well to snare Tendulkar and Laxman on the second day. Went at nearly five runs an over though.

Hamish Bennett - 3:  Injured his groin on the first day so his 15 wicketless overs for 47 will be his only contribution of the series. If he had been fit on the final day, who knows?

Chris Martin - 8: Bounced back after a poor performance in the first innings to bowl an inspirational spell with the new ball in the second, which nearly won his side the match. Figures of five for 63 on that pitch means that Martin deserves all the plaudits that came his way.

Where next?

India vs New Zealand: 1st Test - India Marks out of 10

Au revoir to Shane Bond 

Daniel 'Perseus' Vettori fails in his impossible quest

Openers - an endangered species?

Once upon a time an opening batsman, especially a test match opening batsman used to be a member of an exclusive club. Noticeably different from their middle order colleagues in style and technique, the opening batsman was considered a specialist role and certainly not one that non-openers were queueing up to try.

My, how things have changed. These days the number of specialist openers actually opening the batting is so few, I am starting to wonder if they are going the way of the dodo.

Take Australia for example. Shane Watson used to be an injury prone, under-performing all-rounder who was lucky to bat as high as six. Now he has been reborn as a test match opener who has surprised everyone (probably even himself) by being a success and keeping a specialist opener with a career average of 60 (Phillip Hughes) out of the side. His partner in crime is another former middle-order batsman turned opener in Simon Katich, who has also been significantly more successful since his rebirth.

Other countries are no different. Tillakaratne Dilshan was an underperforming number six who was in and out of the Sri Lankan side. Now he is Son of Sehwag and has taken to opening like a politician to sleaze as he replaced another reinvented opener Sanath Jayasuriya at the top of the order. Sehwag himself, lest it not be forgotten, was also a middle order batsman before realising that his best route to a regular spot in the Indian team was to reinvent how openers should approach test cricket.

Maybe teams like Pakistan and New Zealand should take note. The former have never replaced Saeed Anwar as a succession of specialist openers have struggled in the role since his retirement. Maybe Umar Akmal should have a go at emulating Sehwag and Dilshan? The Black Caps have similarly struggled since the departure of Mark Richardson (and he started as a number 11!) and arguably even all the way back to John Wright. I am sure that SuperDan(iel Vettori) will soon be taking on that role as well.

Chris Gayle and Tamim Iqbal are hardly typical opening batsmen, with their carefree approach more Sehwag than Boycott. And even those starch conservatives South Africa have taken to reinventing Ashwell Price and Neil McKenzie, one with more success than the other, rather than picking a specialist opener to partner Graeme Smith.

Which leaves England. Here at last in the bastion of cricket tradition is a test side with two specialist openers in Andrew Strauss and Alastair Cook. Forget fads like pinch-hitters. Forget reinventing Kevin Pietersen as an opener, specialists like cucumber sandwiches and warm beer will continue to be the preserve of at least on cricket team in the World.

So whilst thanks to the home of cricket, the specialist opener is not quite extinct yet, they clearly need an endangered species tag around their necks.

Daniel 'Perseus' Vettori fails in impossible quest

As the weekend was spent travelling, I've only now caught up with the outcome of the second ODI between Australia and New Zealand at Auckland.

I'm still trying to fathom how Duckworth Lewis calculations meant that New Zealand had to chase 266 runs from 45 overs and had two of their powerplay overs deducted. Given that Australia had scored 273/7 from 50 overs, it seems unfair to say the least that the Black Caps only had their target reduced by eight runs but had to do it from five less overs, two of those powerplays.

At first I thought John Howard's influence as the next President of the ICC was already taking effect; anyone who saw his sour face on handing the Webb Ellis Trophy to Martin Johnson in 2003 will understand what I mean by that.

But no, it seems Duckworth Lewis is akin to Greek Mythology and that the team batting second will be given an impossible quest in order to prevent ignominious defeat and a painful death.

On Saturday, Duckworth Lewis decided to see if Daniel Vettori could emulate Perseus. To save his beloved New Zealand from certain death, he had to combat the Three Gorgons and cut off the head of Medusa without looking directly at her as that would involve turning to stone, death and defeat. Then with the overs running out he had to save the Kiwis from the dastardly Australian Kraken by making Mitchell Johnson stare at the face of the head of Medusa, thus turning him to stone.

To Vettori's credit he managed to defeat the Gorgons and obtain the head of Medusa and only failed because as Johnson's mother is even more fearsome than Medusa, he is the only mortal that can look in the face of Medusa and live.

If only Vettori had used the head of Scott Styris...

 

Steyn's in obviously, but who else makes a current World Test XI?

Having declared our allegiance to Dale Steyn as the best bowler in the World (for once the rankings do not lie), how would the rest of a current World Test XI shape up?

 

Here is my team based on form over the last year or so... 

 

1. Graeme Smith (South Africa) – The heart says Dilshan or Gayle, but the head goes for the Proteas captain, who may not be the best batsman to watch but who always seems to score runs when his country most needs them - especially against England. Grrrr!  

2. Virender Sehwag (India) – Sehwag is not merely a man, he is a God.

3. Gautam Gambhir (India) – You cannot argue with his record over the last 12 months even though doubts remain whether he can do it against the very best (as shown against South Africa over the last few days) or away from the sub-continent. Would be a good number 3.

4. Kumar Sangakkara (Sri Lanka, Captain) – Gets in ahead of Ponting as the Australian captain has not been in the best form over the last year or so. Sangakkara has scored runs both on and away from the sub-continent and is a class player. Gets the captain's role for being the most intelligent and articulate cricketer playing the game today.

5. Sachin Tendulkar (India) – I’d like to go to India one day, so the Little Master has to be in the XI! Seriously, though his record over the last three years is second to none as his ton today against South Africa ably demonstrated.

6. Jacques Kallis (South Africa) – Three centuries in his last five tests with the most recent in Nagpur being one of his best. Like his countryman Smith, not the best player to watch but the proof in the pudding is the fact that he just keeps on scoring runs. And he can bowl too.

7. Mahendra Singh Dhoni (India), The Indian captain has been in excellent form with both bat and gloves over the last year and just pips Boucher and Haddin.

8. Daniel Vettori (New Zealand) – With Warne and Kumble gone, Murali fading and Harbhajan too inconsistent, it is New Zealand’s one man team who pips Swann for the spin role in the XI.   

9. Mitchell Johnson (Australia) – In the battle of the inconsistent quicks, it is MJ who beats Morne Morkel (and Zaheer Khan) to a place in the XI. Johnson has an uncanny knack of taking wickets when he is bowling pies a la Ian Botham, which gets him a place in my side.

10. Dale Steyn (South Africa) – The best bowler in the World. Any fast bowler who can take ten wickets in a match in India deserves to be worshipped. Thank God he was only match fit for the last two tests against England.

11. Mohammad Amir (Pakistan) – If he can steer clear of illicit and performance enhancing drugs, Amir’s nagging accuracy would be a good foil to the pace of Steyn and Johnson in this XI.

12^th Man. Graeme Swann (England) – Would come in for Johnson if two spinners were required. His first year in test cricket has been sensational.