We've written before of our disdain for the coverage of cricket on Channel 9. The dreadful one-eyed commentary is one thing, but the blanket advertising is even worse.
We can just about live with the KFC Classic Catch and even the plugs for the Cricket Australia Travel Agency, but the Gatorade Heart Monitor plunges below the depths of acceptability.
You don't need to have had even rudimentary medical training to know that a fast bowler's heart rate will increase during a bowling spell or that a batsman who has just run a quick single will also have more beats per minute. The whole thing is absolutely pointless.
What makes it worse of course is when you combine the Three Amigos of Mark Taylor, Michael Slater and Ian Healy with the aforementioned heart monitor. Forget the glorious cover drive, the fantastic running catch or a rip-snorting bouncer, it is far more interesting to talk about how one of the protagonists heart rates has gone up by five beats per minute as a result of their exertion.
All it does for us is to reach for the remote to press for the mute button and the pins for our Michael Slater doll.
For being the most pointless invention in cricket history and for actually making Bill Lawry sound interesting, the Gatorade Heart Monitor as misused by Channel 9 is an an absolute Reverse Sweep zero.