The Reverse Sweep

Billy Bowden achieves the impossible not once but twice in the same afternoon

We've gone on record before about Billy Bowden's irritating and incompetent umpiring. The crux of our argument being that Billy is the antithesis of a good umpire in that they should neither be seen nor heard.

With Billy, it is essentially all about Billy. Whether it is his silly hand gestures and signals or consistently irrational decision making, Bowden invariably becomes a major talking point of the day's play.

However, yesterday in Abu Dhabi, with Billy sidelined in the role of video umpire and England turning what should have been a straightforward pursuit of 145 into an attempt to scale Everest without oxygen, sherpas or any discernable plan, the last person we expected to hear about was Bowden.

But when the on-field umpires referred what appeared to be a simple appeal for a bat-pad catch at short-leg by Azhar Ali, Billy grabbed his opportunity to seize the spotlight.

Everyone else watching - English, Pakistani and neutral alike - saw that the catch had been taken cleanly and that Andrew Strauss was out, but not Billy. Oh no, not Billy.

Despite  viewing the replay more times then he probably caresses and kisses a framed bedside picture of himself signalling a six every morning, Bowden inexplicably adjudged that the evidence was not clear and that Strauss should be reprieved.

In that moment Billy achieved what we thought was impossible and proved that he is an even worse umpire off the field than he is on it. It takes an especially unique character to make the case for DRS when he is on the field of play and then to make the contrary argument against it when he is esconsed in the video umpire's chair.  But Billy did just that.

It was going to take something especially cretinous to outmanouvere England's batsmen as the biggest clown in Abu Dhabi yesterday, but good old Billy pulled it off with typically inept aplomb and consequently achieved the impossible not once, but twice in the same afternoon.

Where next?

England's tale of woe against spin in Asia

Cricket heroes: Saeed Ajmal

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4th Test: Australia vs India - India marks out of 10

Gautam Gambhir - 3: Surprised by the extra bounce generated by Siddle after getting a start in the 1st innings and then fell early to his usual failing outside off-stump second time around. Has now gone 39 Test innings without a hundred and averaged just 20 in the series in England and Australia. Brilliant piece of quick thinking to run out Hussey from silly point. 

Virender Sehwag - 4: The captaincy failed to inspire him out of his form slump although his 2nd innings 62 was ferocious entertainment not least for its ending, which could yet go down in the annals of Test cricket as the most irresponsible dismissal ever from a captain. Like Gambhir, averaged just 20 in England and Australia and his run without a Test hundred has now extended to 26 innings.

Rahul Dravid - 2: Had his stumps rearranged for the sixth time in this series and then fell to a poor shot in the 2nd innings. Did a wonderful job of manning a burning bridge in England last summer but couldn't repeat it here. Will we see him again in Test cricket?

Sachin Tendulkar - 2: His form of the early part of the series deserted him and one wonders how much the interminable wait for the 100th hundred is weighing him down. Will get another chance in the ODI series but the torture and tedious hype has now lasted for 25 innings.

VVS Laxman - 3: Got a start in each innings but fell to atrocious shots both times - a probable sad end to a fabulous career. The purists won't be happy, but there is the bearded Laxman - Hashim Amla - to salivate over. The original has gone with a whimper averaging just 21 in England and Australia. 

Virat Kohli - 8: We saw the good, the bad and the ugly from India's leading run scorer in the series. The good was a splendid maiden Test hundred, the bad his foul-mouthed reaction to reaching this milestone and the ugly his brainless and grotesque run out in the 2nd innings. Is a wonderful talent, but could do with growing up a bit. 

Wriddiman Saha - 6: Was far more proficient and eager than the usual incumbent behind the stumps - he even dived for the ball on occasion. Batted well in unison with Kohli in the 1st innings and can be pleased with his contribution.

Ravichandran Ashwin - 4: Brought into the attack early in the 1st innings, handed the new ball second time around and did well troubling both openers each time. Needs to be more consistent but can be relatively pleased with his first overseas tour. 

Zaheer Khan - 5: Whilst India's whitewash will pain this passionate cricketer there will be some consolation that he has managed to get through the whole series. Considering the chasm between the sides, his 15 wickets in the series at 32 is a pretty good return.

Ishant Sharma - 3: Is he unlucky? Well, he does seem to go past the outside edge more than most, but perhaps his return of just five wickets for the series is more telling. Could do with a private session with Craig McDermott given how he has rejuvenated the Australian bowling attack.

Umesh Yadav - 2: He is young, so will learn from this chastening experience, but he has been far too expensive in this series - none more so than on the first day here in Adelaide. Definitely one to persevere with though.

Where next?

4th Test: Australia vs India - Australia marks out of 10

Virat Kohli points the way forward for India

3rd Test marks out of 10: Australia and India

2nd Test marks out of 10: Australia and India

1st Test marks out of 10: Australia and India

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4th Test: Australia vs India - Australia marks out of 10

Ed Cowan - 5: Got a start in both innings but was unable to go on and fell to spin each time. Took the catch that saw Tendulkar leave the crease for probably the last time in a Test in Australia.

David Warner - 4: There was no repeat of his explosive heroics at Perth as the early introduction of spin troubled him and bogged him down.

Shaun Marsh - 1: More Quicksand than Marsh. Just 17 runs in the series at a hideous average of 2.83 - even Chris Martin (the cricketer or the Coldplay frontman) would be embarrassed with that.

Ricky Ponting - 10: If his hundred at Sydney was redemptive, the double ton here saw Ponting almost back to his brilliant and dismissive best. Many thought he was finished after Cape Town, but 705 runs at 70.5 since then suggests the contrary.

Michael Clarke - 10: A dream end to a dream series for the captain with a double hundred to set alongside his triple hundred at Sydney adding up to 626 runs at 125 for the series where his side have completely steamrollered and whitewashed a feeble opposition.

Mike Hussey - 5: Looked in good touch before being brilliantly run out by Gambhir in the 1st innings and was the victim of a borderline leg before to Sharma second time around.

Brad Haddin - 6: Got some cheap runs off a bruised and battered attack but it can only be a matter of time before iron gloves waves adieu to international cricket.

Peter Siddle - 9: Seems to have benefitted the most from the McDermott effect. Found life on a pitch where there was none, which makes his 1st innings five for all the more impressive. Ended up with 23 wickets at 19 in the series, but his strike rate of a wicket every 32 balls is even more impressive.

Ryan Harris - 8: The best tribute you can pay him is that Australia didn't really miss the bowler he replaced - James Pattinson. The more difficult task is how to keep him fit.

Ben Hilfenhaus - 8: Woefully impotent in last year's Ashes but as dangerous as a rabid dog in this series. Picked up another four wickets to take his series tally to 27 at an average of just 17.

Nathan Lyon - 7: The ultimate rags to riches story. A groundsman for the last Adelaide Test here he bagged an enviable list of victims including Laxman (twice), Sehwag and Tendulkar - all of whom were probably playing their last Test innings in Australia.

Where next?

4th Test: Australia vs India - India marks out of 10

Ricky Ponting proves the doubters (and gladly us) wrong

3rd Test marks out of 10: Australia and India

2nd Test marks out of 10: Australia and India

1st Test marks out of 10: Australia and India

Check out all our Reverse Sweep cricket heroes and zeroes 

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All-round Stuart Broad no longer a Charles Hawtrey figure

As an enforcer, Stuart Broad was about as effective as Charles Hawtrey would have been as a bouncer at a particularly troublesome nightclub.

The penny finally dropped with the player himself when despite favourable bowling conditions his return for the series against a fragile Sri Lankan batting line-up was just eight wickets at 48.75. Indeed, the decision whether to replace him with Tim Bresnan for the subsequent series against India was apparently a borderline one.

Following his lucky reprieve, Broad resolved to pitch it up more and the results have been devastating. Up to the end of 1st innings in Abu Dhabi, he has taken 32 wickets at just 15.15, with an economy rate of 2.33 and a Dale Steyn-esque strike rate of a wicket every 39 balls.

If that wasn’t good enough then his record with the bat since and including the glorious 169 against Pakistan at Lord’s in 2010 is 491 runs at 49.10 scored at a brisk strike rate of 75.07.

Broad turned the Trent Bridge Test against India last year with a brilliant counterattacking fifty when England were struggling with the bat and then a hat-trick when India were threatening to take a decisive 1st innings lead. Should England prevail in Abu Dhabi, Broad’s skilful performance with the ball and vital intervention with the bat in securing a lead for England is also likely to prove crucial.

Michael Vaughan reckons that Broad is ideally placed at number eight as he can then play his natural attacking game and he may be right. But Broad is quietly shaping up as a boys own all-rounder in the tradition of a Botham or a Flintoff – a cricketer that can change a match explosively with bat or ball.

Not bad for the man some still refer to as Barbie.

Where next?

England's tale of woe against spin in Asia

Misbah-ul-Haq second only to Bradman

Win a brand new kit for your cricket team

1st Test: Pakistan vs England - England marks out of 10

Check out all our Reverse Sweep cricket heroes and zeroes

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Virat Kohli points the way forward for India

There was some rare good news for the bedraggled Indian cricket team today. One of their batsmen finally managed to reach three figures in what has turned out to be the most one-sided Test series since India last played a Test series outside the subcontinent.

The even better news was that the identity of the century maker wasn’t one of their veterans rolling back the years for a final hurrah (or even a long awaited 100th international hundred). Nor was it one of the misfiring opening batsmen whose individual run without a Test hundred now extends to 38 innings for Gautam Gambhir and 25 for Virender Sehwag.

Today saw the maiden Test hundred for Virat Kohli and it was a good one too even if it probably won’t avert yet another heavy defeat for his side.

We’ve been quite impressed with Kohli for some time and his success could (and should) herald a radical new selection policy for India. One that should see long-service awards and pats on the back for VVS Laxman, Rahul Dravid and dare I say it the Little Master himself and their replacement in the side with Kohli's fellow new breeders namely Rohit Sharma, Ajinkya Rahane and Cheteshwar Pujara.

As it has with Kohli it may take some time for the new boys to assimilate to Test cricket, but let’s be frank they cannot do much worse than the incumbents have fared in England and Australia. As an example prior to the Adelaide Test, Gambhir averaged 23.00 in the England and Australia series, Laxman 20.28 and Sehwag 16.09.

It’s time for Indian cricket to move on and Kohli’s hundred may well have pointed the way.

Where next?

Rohit Sharma: The Artist formerly known as Nohit

India: Tigers at home; pussies away

India's batting line-up and Goebbels's big lie

Check out all our Reverse Sweep cricket heroes and zeroes 

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England's tale of woe against spin in Asia

During the Dubai Test last week, Sky threw up one of its ridiculous stats, which illustrated how contrary to popular opinion the averages of England’s top seven batsmen against spin are all actually higher than their career averages.

However, Sherlock Holmes wouldn’t be fooled by this and nor were we. Taking the candy on offer from the likes of Xavier Doherty in Australia, Amit Mishra last summer and Paul Harris on frankly any pitch is one thing, but doing it against Anil Kumble, Muttiah Muralitharan and now Saeed Ajmal in their own backyards is quite another.

A quick scan of the averages of England’s current top seven away to Pakistan, India and Sri Lanka is far more revealing – no we are not including Tests in Bangladesh as facing what is effectively a County 2^nd XI attack tends to inflate the averages of even the worse batsmen. Yes, even Chris Martin.

Surprisingly, it is Matt Prior that leads the way with an average of 46.71 from 6 Tests, followed by Alastair Cook (39.33, 8 Tests, 2 hundreds), Andrew Strauss (37.20, 8 Tests, 3 hundreds), Ian Bell (32.95, 12 Tests, 1 hundred) and bottom of the pile Kevin Pietersen with an average of just 31.54 from 12 Tests with two hundreds. (NB: the Test in Dubai was Trott’s and Morgan’s first away to Pakistan, India or Sri Lanka)

The causes of this serial failure are many with some or all of the following applying to each of England’s batsmen: hard hands, a general lack of foot movement, an inability to take singles and rotate the strike, too much deference and not enough decisiveness, tentativeness and a failure to pick Ajmal.

England’s recent record away to Pakistan, India and Sri Lanka is woeful with the defeat in Dubai making it just one win in 18 Tests stretching back to the twin triumphs in Pakistan and Sri Lanka of 2000/01.  It was perhaps hardly surprising therefore that Pakistan’s bowlers took 14 wickets for 184 runs in Dubai on a pretty flat wicket with inconsequential turn and little bounce. This doesn’t bode well for the remainder of this series, nor the ones to Sri Lanka and India later this year.

If any inspiration is required, England should look to four of the leading English batsmen in the subcontinent over the last 30 years. Geoff Boycott leads the way with an average of 58.83 from 8 Tests in India and Pakistan (he never faced Sri Lanka) and is closely followed by David Gower (56.90, 16 Tests), Graeme Thorpe (48.29, 10 Tests) and Paul Collingwood (42.15, 12 Tests).

Three of the four were defined by their grit, bravery and obdurateness, which should be attributes most of England’s batsmen can relate to and hopefully display when they get to the crease later today. Pietersen will hopefully realise that genius as exhibited by Gower can thrive in Asia too. England’s number one ranking depends upon it.

Where next?

Misbah-ul-Haq second only to Bradman

How good are this England cricket team?

Check out all our Reverse Sweep cricket heroes and zeroes

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Pakistan's gripping yarn keeps on spinning but fails to enthral Hollywood

We once wrote that Pakistan had forced a dismayed Hollywood to tear up its script after they failed to renact that famous defeat to Australia in Sydney by beating the same opposition at Headingley in 2010.

Those with long memories may recall that this was Salman Butt's first Test as captain after Shahid Afridi had jumped ship after just one match. Of course, Butt's captaincy ended even more unhappily than Afridi's.

Whilst England's sorry defeat in Dubai last week left us like most England fans feeling a bit miserable, it did at least confirm that Pakistan - international cricket's most exciting team - are back where they belong at the top table of international cricket.

It has been an unlikely tale of redemption and one that we felt deserved the wider audience offered through All Out Cricket. So as England hope to redeem themselves in Abu Dhabi, read Pakistan's gripping yarn keeps on spinning and wonder if there are more twists and turns to come in the thriller that is the Pakistan cricket team.

Where next?

A canned Hollywood film about cricket, fixing and a homeless team

Is this the most blatant example of a fixed cricket match ever?

Win a brand new kit for your cricket team

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Misbah-ul-Haq second only to Bradman

Whilst Don Bradman's dismissal for a duck in his last Test innings may have deprived him of finishing his career with a batting average of 100 it failed to dim a much lesser known but perhaps even more formidable statistic.

In 24 matches as captain, Bradman's average actually increased to an even more remarkable 101.51 whilst his side failed to lose even one series - not bad considering that Australia lost Bradman's first two Tests as captain to leave them 2-0 down in the 1936/37 Ashes. This was but small fry to the Don, who hit 270, 212 and finally 169 in the next three Tests so that for the only time in history, a side came back from 2-0 down to win a five Test rubber.

Misbah-ul-Haq's record is not quite that of Bradman's but it is mightily impressive. As well as doing the impossible in creating a unified, solid and dependable Pakistan team since his appointment as captain he has led the way with the bat, averaging 74.07 with one hundred and 11 fifties in 21 innings. After conquering this Everest, perhaps Misbah should co-ordinate efforts to rescue the Euro and avert a nuclear flashpoint in Iran?

Misbah's record ranks second to Bradman of Test captains with a minimum of 15 innings - see full list here. He is certainly ahead of some impressive names with the rest of the top ten featuring Kumar Sangakkara (69.60), Mahela Jayawardene (66.93), Michael Clarke (65.00), Gary Sobers (58.80), Hanif Mohammad (58.73), Graham Gooch (58.72), Brian Lara (57.83) and Alan Melville (57.00).

Of course, Misbah will do well to maintain this record in the current series let alone for the remainder of his reign as captain, but in terms of leading from the front and setting the benchmark for the rest of his side, he is doing a pretty good job.

Calm, composed, cunning, tactically astute and full of runs, Misbah is shaping up as some captain - only Pakistan could have waited until he had reached the ripe old age of 35 before handing such a natural leader of men the reins of power. 

Where next?

Bradman Inspires Australia To Come Back From The Dead In 1936/37

Cricket heroes: Saeed Ajmal

Responsibility and Misbah-ul-Haq

1st Test: Pakistan vs England - Pakistan marks out of 10

Check out all our Reverse Sweep cricket heroes and zeroes

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep

Podcast: Pakistan v England, Australia's dominance over India & much more

We had the pleasure of joining Blaise and Jonathan for this week's One Hand One Bounce podcast on the excellent World Cricket Watch where we had the dubious task of defending England after their pitiful defeat in Dubai last week and talking up the chances ahead of the 2nd Test that starts in Abu Dhabi tomorrow.

To hear whether Andrew Strauss should be worried about his place, Monty Panesar should be picked and how much of a ribbing we got from Blaise (an Aussie, as you ask), give it a listen below.

As well as a post-mortem on England, Blaise, Jonathan and Punter Steve discuss Sri Lanka's comeback
in South Africa and Australia's continued dominance over India. There are also the coveted weekly awards, plus all the latest news and happenings in world cricket.

NB: Please allow a moment while it buffers/loads

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Don’t miss a single episode of the One Hand One Bounce Podcast. Automatically get each new episode by subscribing via iTunes or subscribing to the RSS feed.

Where next?

Top 20 Cricket Blogs: 8 - World Cricket Watch / @worldcricketw

Gideon Haigh speaks about Peter Roebuck

1st Test: Pakistan vs England - England marks out of 10

1st Test: Pakistan vs England - Pakistan marks out of 10

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Win a brand new kit for your cricket team

Does your grassroots cricket team fancy a brand shiny spanking new kit for next season for free? Would you also like a top of the range AEG washing machine for the clubhouse in which to wash the aforementioned new kit too?

Of course you would especially as a fresh sparkling new kit will likely transfer to plenty of runs and bagfuls of wickets. It also means you'll be able to burn your old putrid, grass-stained and ripped kits before the first match of the season. What could be better?

To find out how your team can be one of 40 lucky grassroots cricket teams in the UK to receive an AEG Ultimate Kit & Laundry Package - featuring 12 bespoke cricket kits and a top of the range AEG washing machine, follow the link at the end of the video below featuring Paul Nixon and Michael Vaughan for more information. 

Good luck.

Please note this is a sponsored article.

Where next?

1st Test: Pakistan vs England - England marks out of 10

1st Test: Pakistan vs England - Pakistan marks out of 10

How good are this England cricket team?

Check out all our Reverse Sweep cricket heroes and zeroes

If you like this, follow us on Twitter @thereversesweep